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by "being all the way physical" before being in a married relationship, it prevents potential feelings of being emotionally devastated or hurt for me, if the relationship doesn't work out or result in a more permanent committed union.
Hi.
People that have never been "certified" as married recognized by the State, have led more honest, fullfilling, and permenant loving unions. People that have been married legally, have and can divorce in whatever timeframe fits their fancy, in due process. I'm sure you're different. I'm sure you're special. You're different. That when you get married, it's for life, she's the one. I'm sure we all thought that way once.
Being married to someone doesn't make you any more faithful. Being single doesn't make you any less honest. The door swings both ways.
Your morals are honorable, and out dated. They sway towards the distinction of religion - and hasn't anyone told you that religion isn't "politically correct" in today's society? But you're trying to find some diamond in the rough from this society that will stand along side you?
The above posters are right. Try churches. Try amish or annabaptist communities. Try the country. Try anywhere as far removed as you can think of, where the internet dating sites, twitter, txt messages, facebook, and the social populous en masse has not yet tainted. God forbid these women take it into their heads that in the flash of a fingertip, they are under the illusion that they can find someone richer, cuter, younger, older, "larger", or faster. It's no coincidence that the further away you remove yourself from the secular world, the closer you may be to finding someone that has not lost themselves in it.
Welcome to the generation of instant gratification. Who wants to wait? Who wants to put all that effort into something that (in today's world) isn't tangible? True love doesn't exist anymore. And for those of you that are reading this that oppose it, and proclaim that their significant other is loving and faithful to them, and that they have no need to worry - it only signifies that their significant other has been loving and faithful to them so far. Who's to say the person they're really truly supposed to be with just hasn't entered the scene yet? A bit selfish to think you've roped them down for life with no chance of parol. Especially if the right-er person is really out there looking for them still.
Every day brings the promise of new beginnings. You're only as safe as you think you are. And in today's world, I truly believe we are all lost.
It doesn't matter how good of a person you are. It's easier to get through each day if you wake up each morning and stop expecting it to get better.
So, Cheers. You're not the only one who couldn't find what you wanted.
Join the club.
<this message has been sent from my doomsday device> *wanders off to find her tub of chocolate icecream*
Oh come on now Marylandkitten, the world isn't that bad. I know you have had a let down ...or two. So have I, so have most people. And I can't guarantee you'll find that perfect someone, but the world is full of success stories.
And yes, there is no guarantee the one that loves you now will still years from now, that isn't something new to this day and era. But then again maybe you won't love him the way you use to. Or maybe it will be a happy ever after story.
BTW I have a bag of M&M's right now, trade ya a handful for a scoop.
It's all good with the exception of the bolded part, which is a tough sale... I'm not some nympho by any means, but there's no way I'm buying even a Knight in a sack.
I wouldn't know anything about that sort of thing. The honest truth is, I have been fully 100% chaste and voluntarily-celibate my entire life...with a girl, physically I have never gone beyond a closed-mouth kiss.
Also being love-shy may be another big limiting factor for me in terms of forming relationships, as I mentioned in this earlier C-D post.
Lol, meant as a serious question: are there any good places in the Mid-Atlantic states left that anyone knows of, to geographically be able to find girls who are still interested in "old fashioned courtship" style relationships? (As in serious, committed, exclusive, steady, LTR, etc. kinds of relationships, and in particular where full physical intimacy is reserved until after a full 100% married commitment to each other?)
None of the total 40+ girls I've dated in my local area (near the DC area) over the years have really be seemed at all to be looking for anything like that If anything, they all really seemed to be much more interested in short-term / casual relationships, clubbing, pubbing, partying...that sort of thing.
Where geographically can a guy still be most likely to find the "good girl", the "kind angelic sweetheart", and essentially just a "genuinely nice girl", that you would want to take home to meet your Mom and Dad? (The kind of girl a guy would be thrilled to, and dream of, actually being in a real married relationship with?)
I agree with sierra, the bolded part, this is going to be hard to find. I'm not sure how it is in the rest of the country, but I suspect that finding what your looking for is going to be exceedingly difficult in the fast paced, urban megalopolis of the DC area. I would say also to look in an area away from major cities, but then again, look at all the nuts on TV talk shows that are from rural areas and constantly cheat, abuse, and humiliate themselves on television and act far from being "Christian".
I try and focus on someone who isn't easily persuaded by mass media, someone who is able to recognize the difference between movies and real life. Someone who still values some old fashioned traditions in the face of being constantly barraged by the empty, vapid moral values of Hollywood or the so called musicians of today. Look for someone who feels at home in natural settings instead of nightclubs and pubs (which is a highly unnatural setting, IMHO).
And try to be open-minded- finding a woman who is a virgin in the 24-32 range is not going to be easy and really should not matter. People have many reasons for sharing themselves with someone else, and it doesn't make them tainted. Its 2010. Sex is pleasurable and wonderful, and still, most people only do it with people they care about or love. So I wouldn't fret too much about that.
I disagree with the opinion that you won't find the type of woman you're seeking. I'm shocked that posters are advising you to abandon your values and put aside what's important to you because it's seen as unfashionable and out of date. So what? It may be true that most women won't meet your criteria, but then you are not looking for a common woman, are you?
You are looking for one woman. It doesn't matter if 99% of women are wrong for you. It only takes one. The chaste tend to lead drama-free lives so you don't hear about them much. But don't be mislead to think that chaste women don't exist. They do.
I applaud you for standing by your convictions. If more Christians took a lesson from you, and actually practiced what their faith teaches, it wouldn't hurt my feelings.
Good luck in your search!
Last edited by boodhabunny; 07-08-2010 at 05:31 AM..
I agree with you boodhabunny. It is the family values that a child is brought up with, my daughter who is 20 is still a virgin and is waiting for marriage and I instilled in her that it is the only thing you have that you cannot get back from any guy make sure he is the one you want to marry before taking the giant step of just having sex with just any guy.
Knight--have you tried those dating sites (ie match eharmony yahoo craigslist?) they can narrow down your search if you are willing to relocate.
Stick to your principles and values, you will find your miss right and just maybe when you are not looking-so they say.
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If anything, they all really seemed to be much more interested in short-term / casual relationships, clubbing, pubbing, partying...that sort of thing.
