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Yeah im with you Faworki1947, I didn't understand the dropping charges thing. I would never do that, I want this on his record in case or when he hurts another woman. And yes his mother knew he was abusive cause he hit his sons mother before. I was kinda upset that she didn't warn me but i guess she didn't want to mess up his relationship. But it doesn't matter he messed it up all on his own anyway. I feel sorry for her cause he puts so much pressure on this woman, he has no respect for his mother and if she doesn't give him what he wants (new shoes, Money,etc) he will tell her he doesn't want to see her again to make her give in. And she always does. He can steal from her and she will turn around and give him money cause he manipulates her. She has been going thruogh this for years, so i guess she thought she was gonna put him off on me but no thanks she can have him back. Hes nothing but a momma's boy anyway. He plays hard with me but he wont pull the bs on any of his male friends. Hes weak and immature,and was always to damn clingy, but hes such a big man, yeah right. Believe it or not she is trying to get me to stay with him. She told me not to get a divorce that he will come around, stand by your man, she is very religious but it is 2010, what do i look like staying with a man like that. You mess with the wrong woman these days and they will set you up, poison you, try to kill you in your sleep. He should be glad im not one of those woman.
well your listening to us .. many of us have been there done that and excaped by the skin of our teeth as was noted by another poster .. Dont stay and become a stastic or like his mother .. divorce him and move on with your life .. Will your parents help you at all? if they will go home and tell them the whole story .. .. the more that know the more support YOU will get in your jounery away from this loser..
Good luck and stay strong ..
Yes i have plenty of help from my relatives. I have been staying at my mothers house since the incident. Thank you all for your support and advice. I was wondering can i ask for an anullment from the judge when we go to court. Our court date is set for August 16th 2010.
I used to facilitate a 10-step type support group and the women's shelter. I was in an abusive marriage to an alcoholic and had a professional background in HR & training so I took on this volunteer activity for a couple of years. I learned a lot. I am stifling myself, because I want to just say to you "GET OUT NOW" however, I do understand the complexities of human emotions and your tug toward him. So I encourage you to contact your local women's abuse/domestic violence resource and see if you can get into a support group or at least have a visit with one of the social workers to help you evaluate your situation. Good luck. I do think the only redeeming factor here is that your husband is obeying the protective order and am amazed that you would want him to violate it by phoning you. Please understand that once he learns you want him to disrespect legalities you will have no protection next time. There will be a next time if you stay with him.
Ive never been through anything like this in my life. I wanted him to call and apologize thats it. But i do realize that he cannot call me and vice versa so that was my fault. I can wait until our court date.
Question, before this incident we were delivering telephone books together. Since weve been apart i have received two pay-checks from that. Should i save half of the money to give him when i see him in court or keep it. The checks are in my name, by him being my husband i dont know what to do if he was just a boyfriend i wouldn't care. Do i have a legal responsibility to give him half.
I was wondering can i ask for an anullment from the judge when we go to court. Our court date is set for August16th2010.
Contact legal aide, but I wouldn't wait until August hearing. I read the most common reason for an annulment is fraud, where one party had a criminal background they didn't divulge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kay75
.I wanted him to call and apologize thats it. But i do realize that he cannot call me and vice versa so that was my fault .
You don't want an insincere apology. The first thing you learn in support group is the cycle of abuse, it always comes with an apology it wont happen again. You're still minimizing and taking the blame, read what you said above.
Contact victim services, they'll go with you to the court hearing and can refer you to free counseling services.
Question, before this incident we were delivering telephone books together. Since weve been apart i have received two pay-checks from that. Should i save half of the money to give him when i see him in court or keep it. The checks are in my name, by him being my husband i dont know what to do if he was just a boyfriend i wouldn't care. Do i have a legal responsibility to give him half.
It might depend on where you live. I'd ask a lawyer about that, not the posters here.
Question, before this incident we were delivering telephone books together. Since weve been apart i have received two pay-checks from that. Should i save half of the money to give him when i see him in court or keep it. The checks are in my name, by him being my husband i dont know what to do if he was just a boyfriend i wouldn't care. Do i have a legal responsibility to give him half.
Laws vary greatly from state to state. I am a paralegal, and would suggest you contact your local Legal Aid Society or similar organization which can provide you with some legal advice free of charge or at a discounted rate. Your local women's shelter may be able to supply you with contact information for legal aid. You need a lawyer to answer your questions about annulment and finances.
FYI, the judge and other court personnel are not allowed to give you legal advice. They can answer questions about court procedures, though.
If the checks are in your name go ahead and deposit them. Worry about giving him money later......
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