Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-10-2010, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,134,698 times
Reputation: 22814

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
I can understand wanting a career or chilling with your friends but at some point wouldn't you want to be with that someone you can talk to, become more than just friends to that person and eventually give in (both physically as well as emotional).
I don't think I would be soo thrilled being single for life (no offense but it's not what I call fun). It's not that I need a man because (I'm not a handicapped person and will continue psychology major) but at least you have someone you can associate with.
You wouldn't talk the same way with your friends or relatives as you would with your SO.....

Same as some single people can't understand why commitment seems so important to some, I can't understand how not committing ever is fun....
It might be fun in one's 20s. I don't find it that much fun personally. Ideally, I would prefer to be in a good marriage.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-10-2010, 02:07 PM
 
65 posts, read 175,006 times
Reputation: 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyscrapercrazy View Post
On the spot, poor guys who marry and get to live the suburbun life, going to boring dinners with other couples, with kids messing everything, not having much to have fun besides watching TV and reading bedtime stories to the brats

I feel so sorry for them, having to miss out the best of life and the most amazing experiences, real great parties and variety of women for sex
I seriously hope that one day you fall head over heels for a woman and that she gives you loads of love, because that's what you must need to end all that bitterness.

I'm not a fan of the traditional marriage myself and sure, a relationship might put strain on your life but it also makes you feel wonderful emotions. And I know what I'm talking about, my boyfriend has a difficult personality, very moody, loses his temper really easily, but he is also one of the nicest men I've ever met.

Yeah sometimes I also find myself wondering 'is it really worth it?' and then I think about the little things he does for me, how I love when he wraps his arms and legs around me in bed and the places we got to visit together. It's really not something that can be explained through words.

Only focusing on the bad side of everything doesn't make anything better.

I seriously hope you find a nice woman who has the patience to break your icy heart. You do get to value little things over the material things once you are with a loving partner.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2010, 03:30 PM
 
Location: NYC
7,364 posts, read 14,670,185 times
Reputation: 10386
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Unfortunately, while under 30 or perhaps occasionally 35, this is almost exclusively a woman's perogative. Sure, those women who have very little or nothing going for them will have problems but all the rest want a man who is relatively far superior - at least superficially - to what they are.

For most men, dating during these years is like fishing in a very small, very shallow pool in competition with the majority of other men. For about 35 years now, it's been apparent to men with some experience that making a mistake at this point in their life is a very costly error.

When successful single men approach 40, they are suddenly "in demand". However, if they look closely at the field, they will realize that the pond with good prospects is still small and shallow. They are now mainly in demand due to their assets (house, etc.) and a steady job. Most women still consider them to be second rate, or worse, just like they were in their 20s. The question they really must ask is "If I wasn't wanted during my 20s, what do women see in me now?"

The only way to avoid this risk is to find a woman who also has made a success of her life and is available. Not very common and the competition is still fierce. Otherwise a guy may quickly find that thanks to no fault divorce, women realize that they can have the house without the "second rate man" who once lived in it.
The jungle is what it is... stop being so bitter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-10-2010, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,838,486 times
Reputation: 25362
OP I think a higher power has something in stored for all of us. (It just sucks waiting.....)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2010, 08:10 AM
 
33 posts, read 44,764 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by BriInNH View Post
That is not to say ALL people who choose to remain single throughout life are subject to the above. I have to say that probably MOST chose this selfish and self-serving lifestyle for reasons other than it was truly what they wanted out of life. However they do not even awknowledge any type of liability or dependence to others such as children or family, because they never knew what it was like to recieve it! There are certainly environmental factors at play.
Everybody does what is in their own best interest.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2010, 05:56 PM
 
1,994 posts, read 3,211,574 times
Reputation: 1218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skyscrapercrazy View Post
There's nobody that can be trusted (especially women)
Why would you generalise like that?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2010, 06:45 PM
 
Location: 48205
380 posts, read 691,592 times
Reputation: 326
It depends on where you are in your life journey. I was in a committed relationship for a very long time and am now single. Honestly, it feels great to be able to make my own decisions, not having to be concerned about anyone else, or his issues, etc. No one wants to be alone forever, however, if that's my fate, I would be fine with it at this point. I love myself that much! Been there, done that...

There are pros and cons to both. Ultimately, single people have to embrace whereever they are. If you're single, you're single. Deal with it. I'd rather be a content, unaffected and unimpacted single woman than a miserable married one!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2010, 09:13 PM
 
1,994 posts, read 3,211,574 times
Reputation: 1218
I hate the negatives that come with relationships - fights, game playing, having to run every aspect of your life by another person.

I love the good things that come with relationships though. I'd love to be single but part of me doesn't want to either.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2010, 09:33 PM
 
382 posts, read 758,243 times
Reputation: 294
I would never fall for a woman, not to be a boaster but I'm too smart for that. The drawbacks far outweigh an handful of good things. I've FWB with whom I can do everything, from shopping to travelling and going out for dinner, plus the sex of course. No attachments, no reporting sessions needed. In the end, I've got control over my life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetBecky View Post
I seriously hope that one day you fall head over heels for a woman and that she gives you loads of love, because that's what you must need to end all that bitterness.

I'm not a fan of the traditional marriage myself and sure, a relationship might put strain on your life but it also makes you feel wonderful emotions. And I know what I'm talking about, my boyfriend has a difficult personality, very moody, loses his temper really easily, but he is also one of the nicest men I've ever met.

Yeah sometimes I also find myself wondering 'is it really worth it?' and then I think about the little things he does for me, how I love when he wraps his arms and legs around me in bed and the places we got to visit together. It's really not something that can be explained through words.

Only focusing on the bad side of everything doesn't make anything better.

I seriously hope you find a nice woman who has the patience to break your icy heart. You do get to value little things over the material things once you are with a loving partner.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-11-2010, 10:46 PM
 
27,337 posts, read 27,387,014 times
Reputation: 45874
Quote:
"......I hate the negatives that come with relationships - fights, game playing, having to run every aspect of your life by another person.

I love the good things that come with relationships though. I'd love to be single but part of me doesn't want to either......"





No one really says committing or being single is actually 'fun'. Sure, companionship is good, and relationships can be too, for those who choose to be in one.
Im not 'exquisite' with anyone because of my relocating to the midwest within a year, it wouldnt be fair to someone to tell him 'oh, Im going to leave in a year or so' and it surely wouldnt be fair to force someone relocate with you. Mine is because its where Im finally going to settle and retire, where I want to, since most of my life has consisted of moving here and there, mostly for job purposes, or because someone else wanted me to move with him to were he was.
Sure Im enjoying single-ness right now, because EVERY mistake in my life has stemmed from letting myself be persuaded in relationships. Move here with me, Id never do that to you, you know me better than that, etc...Ive heard it all. Common sense tells you if for one minute you thought he was going to pull something on you that he said he wouldnt, you wouldnt get involved in the first place! Thats a no-brainer.
Point being, maybe some have been shattered or hurt, one way or other, making us stronger, and we put up a shield that may or may not ever come down. But if/when it does, its gotta be on YOUR terms, not someone elses, or you end up right back where you were before.
Relationships can be good for many, if you hook up with the right person, and for the right reasons.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:21 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top