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I'm going through a period in my life where I have no interest in dating. There are a lot of personal reasons, and I've been working for several months on fixing/changing certain things so that I can come to the point where I'd feel comfortable dating again.
Just when I thought things were looking up, I hit an emotional brick wall--my mother passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks ago.
Losing both my mother and father in just 4 years has really taken its toll on me emotionally. Because of that, I find myself needing and wanting that same love and emotional attachment I had with them.
Right now, if I were to go out and seek a companion, I'd become instantly attached and I can see myself turning into one of those clingy freaks who becomes a basketcase when my boyfriend doesn't text back within 10 seconds or doesn't call when he said he would.
I'm not like that at all. I see myself being like that, though.
How do I "fix" this need for being emotionally attached to someone else? Everyone needs to be needed and loved. This blog does a good job of explaining what I'm talking about: Human Nature Nuggets: The Need to Feel Needed
One final note: I'm not looking to get back in to dating for a while, again. Just thought I'd make that clear.
I'm going through a period in my life where I have no interest in dating. There are a lot of personal reasons, and I've been working for several months on fixing/changing certain things so that I can come to the point where I'd feel comfortable dating again.
Just when I thought things were looking up, I hit an emotional brick wall--my mother passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks ago.
Losing both my mother and father in just 4 years has really taken its toll on me emotionally. Because of that, I find myself needing and wanting that same love and emotional attachment I had with them.
Right now, if I were to go out and seek a companion, I'd become instantly attached and I can see myself turning into one of those clingy freaks who becomes a basketcase when my boyfriend doesn't text back within 10 seconds or doesn't call when he said he would.
I'm not like that at all. I see myself being like that, though.
How do I "fix" this need for being emotionally attached to someone else? Everyone needs to be needed and loved. This blog does a good job of explaining what I'm talking about: Human Nature Nuggets: The Need to Feel Needed
One final note: I'm not looking to get back in to dating for a while, again. Just thought I'd make that clear.
MBkr,
I'm sorry to hear about your mother passing. I do think we all have a basic desire as humans for love and affection from others. Since you are not ready for dating just yet, do you have really good friends you can surround yourself with? It will help to talk about your feelings and I hope you have an outlet of friends or family to be able to do so. I don't subscribe to counselors or therapists for everything because they are full of people who just want to throw some anti-depressant drug at you. However, if you feel the need to do so, then please find someone to talk with.
There isn't anything to "fix" because it's an emotion and it's a part of us all. Give yourself time to heal and prepare your mind and heart for love again. Don't rush into it. Take your time. (((hugs)))
Oh Ma.. first a virtual hug and a honest I am sorry for your loss's .. thats hard .. I know you have a dog .. love on it and work at doing stuff that keeps you distraced untill the hurt subsides a bit more ..
and know you have friends on the boards that will listen anytime ..
/|\
Faw
I'm going through a period in my life where I have no interest in dating. There are a lot of personal reasons, and I've been working for several months on fixing/changing certain things so that I can come to the point where I'd feel comfortable dating again.
Just when I thought things were looking up, I hit an emotional brick wall--my mother passed away unexpectedly 2 weeks ago.
Losing both my mother and father in just 4 years has really taken its toll on me emotionally. Because of that, I find myself needing and wanting that same love and emotional attachment I had with them.
Right now, if I were to go out and seek a companion, I'd become instantly attached and I can see myself turning into one of those clingy freaks who becomes a basketcase when my boyfriend doesn't text back within 10 seconds or doesn't call when he said he would.
I'm not like that at all. I see myself being like that, though.
How do I "fix" this need for being emotionally attached to someone else? Everyone needs to be needed and loved. This blog does a good job of explaining what I'm talking about: Human Nature Nuggets: The Need to Feel Needed
One final note: I'm not looking to get back in to dating for a while, again. Just thought I'd make that clear.
Hi MAtheBanker,
I know what you mean. I am sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me when my father died. It does make you think. I decided to buy a 9 millimeter and go to a 25 yard range. That is probably not your thing. Do or get something new, but rely on old friends. You really don't need untrusted relationships for this one.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother passing. I do think we all have a basic desire as humans for love and affection from others. Since you are not ready for dating just yet, do you have really good friends you can surround yourself with? It will help to talk about your feelings and I hope you have an outlet of friends or family to be able to do so. I don't subscribe to counselors or therapists for everything because they are full of people who just want to throw some anti-depressant drug at you. However, if you feel the need to do so, then please find someone to talk with.
There isn't anything to "fix" because it's an emotion and it's a part of us all. Give yourself time to heal and prepare your mind and heart for love again. Don't rush into it. Take your time. (((hugs)))
I agree! I`m sorry about your loss..this is a tough one.
Losing both my mother and father in just 4 years has really taken its toll on me emotionally. Because of that, I find myself needing and wanting that same love and emotional attachment I had with them.
I know you do. I was in your shoes a few years ago; however, I made a mistake and actively pursued it... Good for you that you have the insight to realize that's likely to be a mistake, even though you're so young. I didn't... Please don't make any major decisions for at least a year.
I think the best thing to do is just to let yourself feel it. Trying to "fix" it won't get you anything but trouble - it would only be a patch. Feel it, experience it, don't deny it...it will work itself out.
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