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Email and Facebook do not mean anything. If I don't give them to you it probably means that I don't want to communicate you at all (although I have different emails for different people, but you wouldn't know...).
I'm not sure about giving phone numbers, but I'm quite sure that it still doesn't they like you. Look, they just want to give you a chance. It's sort of like subscribing to newsletters from Amazon.com. Just because you subscribe to them doesn't mean you'll want to buy from Amazon. Maybe if Amazon gives you a great deal like a $199 PS3 then you'll buy from them. So the girls gave you a chance to do your best to sell yourself but it probably wasn't good enough.
My mind is just boggled as to how these women communicate things and why each situation just so happened to end up the way they did. It doesn't make any sense to me and it makes me beleive that I have bad luck because it's just not logical.
I haven't asked anyone on a date for a few years and I am fine being a single guy. I just would like to understand things that have happened in these situations. That's all! Thanks for your response.
Your right its not logical, but you've been given reasonable explanations and suggestions and you're still beating yourself over the head for answers and there could be many, I'll say it for the third time, you never asserted yourself, they approached you, even though they offered the phone number it speaks volumes about your interest level.
I think you need to handle these situations differently in the future, take some of the advice given here.
One question...Do you tell them you're unemployed?
Email and Facebook do not mean anything. If I don't give them to you it probably means that I don't want to communicate you at all (although I have different emails for different people, but you wouldn't know...).
I'm not sure about giving phone numbers, but I'm quite sure that it still doesn't they like you. Look, they just want to give you a chance. It's sort of like subscribing to newsletters from Amazon.com. Just because you subscribe to them doesn't mean you'll want to buy from Amazon. Maybe if Amazon gives you a great deal like a $199 PS3 then you'll buy from them. So the girls gave you a chance to do your best to sell yourself but it probably wasn't good enough.
Sell myself? Why do people assume I wasn't considerate when I left them a message that they didn't answer after they told me to call? How does anyone know the way I conversation with the women/ the mood of the contact after I tried to do as "they" requested". Why give a number or any personal info in the first place? Why spend time at the bar talking with someone and then offering a number because you are obviously interested in them and then never respond to them when they do call? It still makes no sense. If you only knew the kind of guy I am and saw the conversations and the way I made them laugh and the signs they gave me such as touching my arm/rubbing on it and twirling the hair ect....then you too would understand and not be even questioning if "I" didn't do enough to impress anyone...Bottom line is that I wasn't the one flirting and wanting their phone number and so I don't see why they would feel pressured to give it because I didn't hint that I wanted it....lol..This is getting to the point where no one can tell me why this happened except for the excuse that I should have done more to impress them when it wasn't me that wanted the stinkin number to begin with..they offered and I was a gentleman on the phone or in the e-mail when I did as they requested..this feels like the twilight zone
Your right its not logical, but you've been given reasonable explanations and suggestions and you're still beating yourself over the head for answers and there could be many, I'll say it for the third time, you never asserted yourself, they approached you, even though they offered the phone number it speaks volumes about your interest level.
I think you need to handle these situations differently in the future, take some of the advice given here.
One question...Do you tell them you're unemployed?
LOL....man, this is like going in circles. I wish I could talk on the phone because typing isn't getting my point across because it takes so long to type when my mind is going faster and I forget a good point I have to make sometimes....but anyways I'll respond to your post..
Advice? So, next time I am at a bar "not looking to meet anyone or giving any signs that I want further communications" then it's my duty to assert myself more?....lol...I don't get that....I am not the person who wanted them to call me. Are you saying that I should have made 7 or 8 attempts to contact them and leave them nice messages instead of making 2 or 3 attempts so that I don't annoy anyone. I didn't continue asserting myself because I understand when someone isn't responding to me....I'm not gonna keep pushing someone to respond when I give at least 2 messages. Is that what you mean by asserting myself? I think I already answered the unemployment question but I'll do it again..No, I never get that into my own self unless they ask me which these girls never did ask me about what I do to make a living.
Advice? So, next time I am at a bar "not looking to meet anyone or giving any signs that I want further communications" then it's my duty toassert myself more?....lol...I don't get that....
No, thats not what I said, but maybe I'm not clear. You would assert yourself if you have an interest.
She approaches you, we'll assume she wants to get to know you. Theres either mutual interest there or theres not and still no guarantees she"ll return your call, but the chances might increase.
You can't say it doesn't work until you try it.....when you're ready.
I am not the person who wanted them to call me.
Exactly.... What your doing makes no more sense than what they're doing.
Then you not only called , but when they don't respond, you track them down on face book and then continue to try to make contact.
In other words if you're not interested in dating, you don't have to call. so why are you?
Are you saying that I should have made 7 or 8 attempts to contact them and leave them nice messages instead of making 2 or 3 attempts so that I don't annoy anyone.
No...one call..they respond or they don't.
I didn't continue asserting myself because I understand when someone isn't responding to me....I'm not gonna keep pushing someone to respond when I give at least 2 messages. Is that what you mean by asserting myself? I think I already answered the unemployment question but I'll do it again..No, I never get that into my own self unless they ask me whichthese girls never did ask me about what I do to make a living.
How about doing this... next time a girl gives you her number, refuse it. Instead, give her your phone number and tell her to call you if she wants to get together. Make them make the next move.
Sure, some of them may never call you up, but eventually if a girl is really interested in getting to know you better, she will call you up.
Calling a girl up is you doing all the chasing (which only feeds their ego). You need to stop doing that and instead make them pursue you. And this method will weed out all the ones that are not serious about getting to know you better.
How about doing this... next time a girl gives you her number, refuse it. Instead, give her your phone number and tell her to call you if she wants to get together. Make them make the next move.
Sure, some of them may never call you up, but eventually if a girl is really interested in getting to know you better, she will call you up.
Calling a girl up is you doing all the chasing (which only feeds their ego). You need to stop doing that and instead make them pursue you. And this method will weed out all the ones that are not serious about getting to know you better.
Now this is a good idea. I think I will actually try that if there happens to be another situation like the ones I have described. Thanks Miu!!!
@virgode
No, thats not what I said, but maybe I'm not clear. You would assert yourself if you have an interest.
The thing is that the interest was there only after they made the first sign of being interested in knowing more about me some other time outside of the bar by giving me their info. Of coarse I am not an idiot who just sat there acting as if I didn't care the whole time. My point was that when I went out to these places that my mentality wasn't to search to meet someone or even in the mood to meet someone, but when they came to me then I did show interest and they showed that they were 'really' interested by doing a few things that are not required to do to a complete stranger at a bar, so I know I didn't misread anyone because I never asked them for info. They gave it to me before I had the chance to think about even going farther than a conversation at a bar. Point is that after I was positive that they wanted more than to just talk and leave and never see me or hear from me again that I did show interest by getting more personal in the conversation and then doing what they requested and calling them.
She approaches you, we'll assume she wants to get to know you. Theres either mutual interest there or theres not and still no guarantees she"ll return your call, but the chances might increase.
Read above...lol
You can't say it doesn't work until you try it.....when you're ready.
again, read above. I think you just misunderstand the way the whole conversation and situation went down in reality those times. Thanks for the response though.
Exactly.... What your doing makes no more sense than what they're doing.
I don't get that because let's say I was them and they were me. Ok, I see a nice looking girl at the bar. I sit next to her in the open space waiting for the right moment to talk to the stranger right? Well, I ask her something and then we start to hit it off. She smiles and laughs at my comments.
I touch her on the thigh and rub her arm when we have a nice laugh about something that may come up. Then I ask if she would like to maybe call me or something sometime. She says yeah that would be great. So, I hand her my number and we continue talking and she seems more interested in what I have to say than before.
So I finish up our conversation later on and tell her that it was a pleasure meeting such a nice person at the bar and I look forward to you calling me later on or tomorrow or something. She says, "That sounds like a plan and it was awesome to meet you too, can't wait to talk again". So, I get home and go to sleep and the next day I wake up and get a voicemail saying, 'Hey, this is the girl you met at the bar last night and I really enjoyed meeting you last night and I was wondering if you would like to meet up again sometime or maybe just talk on the phone or something, just let me know when you get a chance ok..Have a good day" So, at this point I just decide hey I'll just not call back because I ___________? This is where you fill in the blank for the excuses.
Then you not only called , but when they don't respond, you track them down on face book and then continue to try to make contact.
Here's my point again...Why give out a phone number and facebook account info if you don't want people to use it? If someone tells you to use it then does that mean "do not" use it...I am confused at that logic. I call the number once and get no answer and then immediately write a facebook message letting her know I just called and got no answer, but would love to talk to her again and then if I get no answer from that I leave her alone. But, in your opinion you think I am doing something wrong am I right?
In other words if you're not interested in dating, you don't have to call. so why are you?
Again, read above to my first response. Who said I showed no interest after I realized someone was interested in me. Before that point where I was given her number I kept the conversation and my mentality cool about the whole situation until I realized that the person really did like me enough to hand me their info. Then I opened up even more.
No...one call..they respond or they don't.
Read above..lol
Are you purposely twisting what I've said?
Nope...I just think there is a misunderstanding and it's hard to explain all of the emotions and senses that go along with each moment in the night at the bar as well as the feelings I got when I called the girls or wrote them. It;s discernment and I can't really write into words all of the internal and spiritual things within the situation.
Here's my point again...Why give out a phone number and facebook account info if you don't want people to use it? If someone tells you to use it then does that mean "do not" use it...I am confused at that logic. I call the number once and get no answer and then immediately write a facebook message letting her know I just called and got no answer, but would love to talk to her again and then if I get no answer from that I leave her alone. But, in your opinion you think I am doing something wrong am I right?
There are many people, especially women, who love to see how many friends they can have on Facebook. Again, adding you as a Facebook friend, is just another notch on their belt. It doesn't mean that they want to be your real life friend or girlfriend.
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No...one call..they respond or they don't. 
