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I'm 19. I am certainly not old, but I'm not getting younger either and I'm only going to get older. It seems like when you're younger (high school and younger), people expect less out of you so relationships are easier. But in college people expect more out of you and they're only going to expect more as I get older. I won't be able to live up to their expectations.
You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations. Don't focus too much on relationships during college. Keep things simple, date different people until you form a friendship with one of them and it blossoms into something nice. Then enjoy the ride until it either wears itself out or perhaps turns into something more permanent. Don't complicate your life with serious relationships right now, get passing grades and focus on your future. If you have your shyt together as an adult you'll have more options when it comes to dating.
I'll add that college is for learning, not just through books, but about yourself and the world around you. Soak it all in. This is probably going to be one of the best times of your life. It was for me, and 22 years later, my friends and I still crack up about the things we did. Enjoy it with the intention of laughing over the pictures on Facebook 20 years from now.
Not sure if you are male or female but as a guy I remember the time from about 19 to 23 being one of the hardest. As a guy you want to be independent and confident, yet at that age you are dependent on others for money, you lack a good job and cannot be totally independent.
Nows the time to go to school or join the military and grow into becoming the wise independent adult. Get a little crazy at times and learn to be your own person.
Someday you can look back and say "Yeah I did that once but that was when I was in college" and get a free pass. At your age it's time to experiment and grown into who you want to become.
This is probably the biggest change over the past few decades. When female enrolment at college was between 30 and 40 % (and often under 5% in the tougher, employment related faculties) young men men had a lot of competition to face. Many, if they could, kept up with a high school girlfriend and unless something developed, they had a fall back position.
Those who couldn't do this, found that the prospects were quite bleak, once they entered the world of work. Most of the women their age they encountered there were married. What was left was not that appealing and besides, they had 5 to 10 single men around for every one of them. Usually, they were interested in the eleventh. At that age I was initially surprised by the number of single men, with good jobs, approaching their mid 30s since women were always complaining how hard they were to find! Most, for one reason or another, were not able to fish in pools with younger women even though they regularly got blamed for this.
Today, the opposite situation has occurred. Many colleges have 60 to 65% female enrolment and many now graduate college without being married or even in a serious relationship. Such women want a spouse with s similar level of education.
Find a job where such women are hired and not only will there be plenty of opportunities but you will then have the funds to do date the way you want to without puting yourself deeper in educational debt. College should be for fun and an experience, not the last chance to find relationship.
I guess what I was trying to say is sometimes I wish I had more relationships when I was younger. People didn't expect as much out of me so relationships were easier and more stress-free. Of course, at the time I didn't think my relationship was stress-free. But looking back, I've realized there are fewer expectations.
I never want to get married but I know people my age that are thinking about marriage.
I'm 19. I am certainly not old, but I'm not getting younger either and I'm only going to get older. It seems like when you're younger (high school and younger), people expect less out of you so relationships are easier. But in college people expect more out of you and they're only going to expect more as I get older. I won't be able to live up to their expectations.
What are your expectations of yourself? Wisdom comes with age and experience. You will always disappoint someone; and someone will always want more from you even when you think you have given your all.
Maybe you should strive for peace within. Take your time and live your life. Please yourself first - be proud of who and what you are.
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