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Then again the actions of FIRST-"Player" usually cause the actions of the SECOND-"Loner". And yes when the loner decides to fill in the blanks of what is missing (sex) it can be done with a simple act and NO desire for an alternate "relationship".
I don't know that it is usually the case that a partner who's a "player" could lead the other to become a "loner," but logic suggests it certainly happens.
To answer Ep-'s comment: you probably never could envision cheating because you're probably not a "player," nor has your spouse/S.O. left you a "loner." Hence, no desire to cheat.
I would speculate that "players" are more common among younger people. Amongst women in particular I would bet that women are much more likely to be "players" when they're young, since womens' ability to attract men based upon sex appeal tends to decline more with age than it does for men. I would think that you would not find as much age difference among men "players," but it would still be present. My guess is that as age increases overall, the number of "players" tends to decline and the number of "loners" increases.
What makes someone cheat? I'd love to hear from men especially, but women too. Be honest, have you cheated? Does cheating on your partner mean you don't love your partner or can some people just separate love and sex? Realistically, affairs are more common than you think. What isn't common is finding out about the affairs. If you are a faithful man or woman, have you ever been "tested" and walked away from it without cheating? Have you been in love with your partner, but found yourself falling for someone else?
Whatever is lacking in the relationship.
Men will cheat on their spouse cause they are not getting any sex.
Women will cheat on their spouse cause they don't get the conversations they would like to have. The warm embraces. The caring concern.
You pick.
It's all there.
Problem is she is saying, "If he would hold me and kiss me sometime I would be more than happy to give him more sex."
He is saying, "If I could get more sex, I would love to kiss and hold her more.
Problem is she is saying, "If he would hold me and kiss me sometime I would be more than happy to give him more sex."
He is saying, "If I could get more sex, I would love to kiss and hold her more.
So what you're saying is, many times it's about the failure to communicate openly & honestly ?
I do believe many men have a problem telling their partner that there is a problem. We men are conditioned to the needs of "We" that it's hard to say the "I" needs.
That's too simplistic - though I know people looking for an easy answer will agree that's all there is to it.
Like I said, that's the short answer.
But boil it all down and it essentially comes down to this: In similar situations some cheat and some don't. And those who don't are better people than those who do.
What makes someone cheat? I'd love to hear from men especially, but women too. Be honest, have you cheated? Does cheating on your partner mean you don't love your partner or can some people just separate love and sex? Realistically, affairs are more common than you think. What isn't common is finding out about the affairs. If you are a faithful man or woman, have you ever been "tested" and walked away from it without cheating? Have you been in love with your partner, but found yourself falling for someone else?
My "mother" was a cheater from day one of being with my dad. Why did she cheat? Because he had a job & worked.. they were 2 different people that had nothing in common. My dad put up with it because he didn't want to lose everything in a divorce. She craved attention, even the last time I saw her over 4 years ago - always dressed like a hooker.. she was known in the town as a flirt. In the end, he died a man that never found a woman to love him the way he deserved. I will never stay in a relationship like that if the same happened to me. He wasn't even dead 24 hours when she said she needed to find a man for sex on the way to the funeral home.
I'm faithful. I've never been tempted because I'm happy. I don't even look at other men; unless Greg Allman were to find me. He might be the only man I would leave my hub for.
My 1st one cheated on me; he's gone. 2nd one was verbally abusive. When I left I was being accused of cheating but I was not. When he got physically abusive I found a lawyer & had him removed; I then moved on to my current hub.
For myself, marrying at 20 was a bad idea. People are too young to even know what they want. People change in their 20's; they grow up (or not). I was 28 when I married #2 & tried my hardest but it wasn't meant to be.
Being married at any age is hard. You have to want to be married to the same person & work on it.
That's awesome. Thanks. I'll make sure to do that. But, in the meantime, maybe this thread will get some new answers from new people who didn't see the old threads..
Your sarcasm just seeps through every post you make...maybe your sparkling wit just doesn't show up very well in the written form
Your sarcasm just seeps through every post you make...maybe your sparkling wit just doesn't show up very well in the written form
Nailed that one on the head.
40 bazillion threads on infidelity, but let's ask yet again!
Bottom line is that people who are in love don't cheat. Men, women, it doesn't matter. It's really not that hard a concept to understand, but cheaters, self-absorbed liars that they are, like to have all of these gray areas and try to justify their own deceit (or consideration of deceit) by posting all of this attention-seeking drama on bulletin boards, and when others tell them to use a dang search function they send hate-reps.
You know, because cheaters are also cowards.
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But, in the meantime, maybe this thread will get some new answers from new people who didn't see the old threads..
