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Just for the record, this is one very real characteristic of Asperger's...things ARE perceived as black and white, shades of grey are too hard to interpret. As I'm sure you know, since you mention familial connections to Asperger's, and working with people with Asperger's, as do I. Others may not, though. It's really not at all surprising that somebody with Asperger's would focus on the black and white of a particular issue.
And the OP needs to recognize that, hard as it is to understand or to swallow, sometimes there just ISN'T a simple yes/no answer.
I get tired of hearing this over and over again. Both my wife and I are Asperger's, and yet we do understand the concept of gray areas. And while an earlier poster already mentioned this, my wife and I are young as well. I have a good number of other Aspie friends who are also perfectly capable of understanding that life comes in many shades and colors, most of whom are also in their 20's.
As for the question "should I date an Aspie?" Get to know the individual. Not every Aspie is the same. Each relationship is unique.
I get tired of hearing this over and over again. Both my wife and I are Asperger's, and yet we do understand the concept of gray areas. And while an earlier poster already mentioned this, my wife and I are young as well. I have a good number of other Aspie friends who are also perfectly capable of understanding that life comes in many shades and colors, most of whom are also in their 20's.
As for the question "should I date an Aspie?" Get to know the individual. Not every Aspie is the same. Each relationship is unique.
True. A poster mentioned earlier that the term "spectrum" is lost on some. That's exactly why it's a SPECTRUM. There are so many variances. I mean, no two NTs are the same, either, are they? And I think anyone can look at the diagnostic criteria for autism or Aperger's, and relate to a couple. I know I can! My son's teachers have all said at one meaning, who DOESN'T fit at least one or two of the criteria? It's when you have an overwhelming pattern that you get the diagnosis... and it's not an easy one to get. ESPECIALLY when you're trying to get your kid an appropriate education in the public school system.
There are people with Asperger's who are hardly affected, and others who struggle. The kids in my classes are often alternating between pushing each others' buttons, to arguing, randomly screaming, sometimes going into rages, and coming after us. But when it's lunch time, and they all bring out their (what's that new toy, now... something like mini transformer toys that you drop on cards...), they're quiet and talking to each other, trading cards, the room is quiet. One kid might be on the floor playing quietly with his Nintendo DS.
Much like an NT class, you could say, except with different behaviors. One child might need frequent applied pressure, otherwise he will start beating on his head or chest. Another kid is very sullen, and will ask you your birthday right when he meets you. When you tell him, he will list off anyone else with the same birthday. Others are very outgoing, and come up and introduce themselves, hand outstretched. Other kids have some OCD like things...one boy, about 10, has trichotillomania, and at first was pulling stray hair off my shirt (I have long blonde hair, and it sheds), then he actually started yanking individual hairs out of my head. I had to ask him to try to keep that impulse under control. =P Most have interests in so many things that NT's don't really think about. My son can name every brand of garage door opener out there. Not only that, he constructs functioning models out of cardboard. Same with windshield wipers. He carries a pair of real windshield wipers with him in his backpack. He makes cardboard replicas of the ones I've had on every car I've owned, my mom's cars, my fathers, my brothers... Things do tend to be black and white with him, though, but he is learning to identify new feelings. "Frustrated" is one of them. "Sad" is another. Before, it was "angry" or "happy". Nothing in between.
Anyway.
I'm curious about this Asperger's diagnosis being taken away from the DSM-V, how will that effect the "self-diagnosed", or the ones who are trying to be "geek chic"? Will "autism" sound as cool? Because the biggest stereotype I had to get around with my son, before his Asperger's diagnosis, was "Rainman". Nope, he's not anything like that.
Aspergers will still be Aspergers and aspergers is still autism, even if high functioning, the only difference is in the DSM V and ICD-9...updated every Oct 1
Honestly I can't even relate to the fact that Asperger's is considered "cool." I went through my whole childhood with it undiagnosed and only got diagnosed about a year ago by my psychiatrist. While I wouldn't say my childhood was absolutely awful because I wasn't diagnosed, it sure would have explained a lot of recurring issues. I never got any sort of special accommodations, and in retrospect it would have been really nice to know, especially because I have always had issues with sensory processing, and an earlier diagnosis might have given me what I needed. With all the trouble that I and other people with actual diagnoses have gone through, it's a bit insulting to have our lives trivialized by people self-diagnosing on the Internet. If you really think you have it, take steps to find out.
Last edited by nimchimpsky; 08-02-2010 at 09:26 AM..
I get tired of hearing this over and over again. Both my wife and I are Asperger's, and yet we do understand the concept of gray areas. And while an earlier poster already mentioned this, my wife and I are young as well. I have a good number of other Aspie friends who are also perfectly capable of understanding that life comes in many shades and colors, most of whom are also in their 20's.
As for the question "should I date an Aspie?" Get to know the individual. Not every Aspie is the same. Each relationship is unique.
but there must be generalised traits otherwise the symptoms make no sense.
Honestly I can't even relate to the fact that Asperger's is considered "cool." I went through my whole childhood with it undiagnosed and only got diagnosed about a year ago by my psychiatrist. While I wouldn't say my childhood was absolutely awful because I wasn't diagnosed, it sure would have explained a lot of recurring issues. I never got any sort of special accommodations, and in retrospect it would have been really nice to know, especially because I have always had issues with sensory processing, and an earlier diagnosis might have given me what I needed. With all the trouble that I and other people with actual diagnoses have gone through, it's a bit insulting to have our lives trivialized by people self-diagnosing on the Internet. If you really think you have it, take steps to find out.
I don't get it either, just by seeing what my son has had to endure. For a long time he refused to go into buildings without earplugs, just in case the fire alarm went off, which scares him. He can't handle the noise, and the sudden change in activity (going outside and lining up). For a while, his teachers let him wear headphones, so it took the edge off the noise. That's just one tiny example of some of the "little" things that James would deal with.
I see more people online self-diagnose than offline, but I also obviously am going to "see" a lot more people online in any given day. From the ones that self-diagnose, they tend to have a romanticized view of Asperger's as being a "tortured genius", and that's all they focus on. They want to be perceived as mysterious, introverted, and extremely intelligent, because that's all they think Asperger's is.
but diagnosis's purpose is to make known a disease by observance of symptoms, even though it doesn't work and it usually does work.
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