Ladies, would you date a guy with Asperger's Syndrome? (husband, younger, separate)

[virgode]

Originally Posted by samston

but diagnosis's purpose is to make known a disease by observance of symptoms, .

but..but..but..Thats what I just posted..not in the same words.

[daugenstine]

Originally Posted by Neemy14

I don't get it either, just by seeing what my son has had to endure. For a long time he refused to go into buildings without earplugs, just in case the fire alarm went off, which scares him. He can't handle the noise, and the sudden change in activity (going outside and lining up). For a while, his teachers let him wear headphones, so it took the edge off the noise. That's just one tiny example of some of the "little" things that James would deal with.

I see more people online self-diagnose than offline, but I also obviously am going to "see" a lot more people online in any given day. From the ones that self-diagnose, they tend to have a romanticized view of Asperger's as being a "tortured genius", and that's all they focus on. They want to be perceived as mysterious, introverted, and extremely intelligent, because that's all they think Asperger's is.

Frustrating.

Thank you! These people are one of my biggest pet peeves, too. I stopped going to a group I once attended for adults with Asperger's because I was the only person at those entire meetings diagnosed by an actual licensed professional. In fact, I was re-diagnosed earlier this year by another doctor to qualify for this program in Texas referred to as DARS which stands for Department for Assistance and Rehabilitative Services. I had to be confirmed before I could enter this program. The other members were all diagnosed over the Internet, and I found their disingenuous behavior most insulting. They're one of the primary reasons there are many skeptics out there who think this is a game we're playing to earn sympathy. They remind me of people like Anne Heche who pretended she was bisexual after Ellen DeGeneres admitted she was a lesbian. Because our culture became more accepting of homosexuals during the 90's, bisexuality became a trend. That only gave the religious zealots more firepower to claim it was a choice rather than genetic. All they did was perpetuate the ignorance essentially.

My other pet peeve is all these self-righteous "curebies" like Jenny McCarthy who think vaccines are the root cause. Jenny Mcarthy's son was never officially diagnosed, and she claimed he cured her boy. I've tried that GFCF diet three times and it didn't turn me into an NT. They make it sound like vaccines are Kryptonite and any autistic child who doesn't ingest gluten will suddenly transform into an NT the way Popeye turns into a heavy hitter whenever he eats his spinach. It doesn't work that way, and this isn't a cartoon. I don't need to be cured. I'm not dying, nor am I contagious. It's not degenerative or venereal. None of my ex-girlfriends ever contracted it for me. Though it's been confirmed by the Supreme Court that vaccines don't cause autism, some people never get it. All the evidence was ruled inconclusive, and Andrew Wakefield never conducted any extensive research. What he did was unethical; hence, that's why he had his licensed revoked. Not to mention, it was later ascertained that Jenny McCarthy's son actually has Landau-Kleffner Syndrome. The bottom line is that all the curebies, fake Aspies, Jenny McCarthy, and Andrew Wakefield have done nothing but turn dirtbags like Denis Leary and Michael Savage into what I call "unlicensed experts." They've done a fine job drive a wedge between all of us, and they're the reason why I keep finding offensive posts like the one below on the Internet.

Asperger's syndrome - Encyclopedia Dramatica

[samston]

Originally Posted by virgode

but..but..but..Thats what I just posted..not in the same words.

That's what I meant also.

[miyu]

Here are my 2 cents on getting a diagnosis by a board certified psychiatrist. Most psychiatrists don't have much experience with Asperger's (also given that it is not well understood in terms of etiology and natural history) and you would probably need a subspecialist. I have had enough training to be able to diagnose myself by details of my childhood and behavioral history, but there is no way in hell that I would actually receive a diagnosis at my current age and state of social development. I am too successful and "normal" appearing since I have learned how to compensate.

The reasons I do not wish for a diagnosis are threefold:
1) I have adapted for the most part.
2) The areas of my life in which I have no adapted, no drug or therapy can help me with. I just have to accept it.
3) I do not want this on my medical record. Disability insurance will be difficult to obtain.

I do think that people tend to romanticize this, or at least to use it as an excuse, much like too many people use "depression" as an excuse for every setback they have ever had. However, like depression, there are many people who are truly afflicted. It is best to refrain from assumptions of each individual's case unless you know them well, have some professional knowledge, and have examined them.

There are a lot of subtle residual things that I cannot get rid of and it is such a nuisance. For example, not knowing for sure when people are addressing me, not knowing if people are laughing or crying, not knowing if something is a joke or serious, difficulties processing the meaning of things that I hear, having to treat each social interaction as if I was stepping on thin ice, suddenly realizing that I had said something terribly inappropriate at work, or realizing that I just responded too literally to something. Getting really particular about smells and textures... small price to pay.

I am just glad I'm not more affected by it. Behaviorally, I have myself under control... i.e. no more failure to recognize that it is NOT ok to set fires in junior high classrooms/sidewalks because I felt cold. In retrospect it is kind of funny... I think that if you can laugh at yourself and your blunders it makes it easier to talk to others about it (p.s. this statement obviously does not apply to anyone with a debilitating disease). Just the other day I unknowingly made this really weird animal noise in a parking lot and some girl freaked out (DH told me this but I did not notice). Hahaha...

Growing up was hell though. Can't deny it. I was neither cool nor mysterious.

[virgode]

Here ya go.. another self diagnosed.....Please don't promote this.

[daugenstine]

Originally Posted by virgode

Here ya go.. another self diagnosed.....Please don't promote this.

Touche

[miyu]

Originally Posted by virgode

Here ya go.. another self diagnosed.....Please don't promote this.

The issue here is not whether somebody is diagnosed by an MD or not. The issue here is whether or not a diagnosis makes any difference in the management of the condition. Sometimes it does. Oftentimes, it does not. Some people just prefer not to obtain the diagnosis. It is their absolute right to refuse further diagnostics. Who are you to say that everyone needs a diagnosis when it is not even a recommendation by the American Board of Psychiatry? People complaining about others "self-diagnosing" the condition is ridiculous. It is not an exclusive condition. The end point is to recognize and understand how you can improve your own quality of life, not to belong to some sad victim's club. I've had enough psych experience to know that this is all an inexact science and I hope that more research will be conducted on this so that people can benefit.

I could write myself a prescription for it if I wanted to... but for what? Hrrmmm?

[gentlearts]

Honestly, I would not. Is Asperger's genetic? If I were looking for a father for my children, I would take a pass. If not, it would depend upon how your condition manifests.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by robee70

If your Asperger's does not have a direct impact on your ability to have a healthy relationship (i.e. behaviors, rigidity, inability to listen to things outside your interest, etc.) then your Asperger's has nothing to do with your state of "singleness".

OTOH, if you are aware that you do have behaviors as a result of your Asperger's, that impact your relationships, then work on those. Labels are meaningless, it's actual interpersonal skills and personality that matter.

I agree with this. I had a co-worker whose man had this and he said it was why he's uncomfortable with too much physical affection. It worked out well for her because she wasn't overly or very affectionate, herself. I, on the other hand, would not be able to deal well with that. I like a lot of physical stuff. LOL So if it interferred with me being myself it would be a problem for me.

[Neemy]

So, am I understanding this, correctly? Those who are arguing that a doctor's diagnosis is a crock, and unnecessary, because psychiatrists are not trained properly in autism, therefore their own (skilled?) self-diagnosis is more appropriate ... do you realize that there is more to a diagnosis of autism than seeing a psychiatrist? A psychiatrist did NOT diagnose my son. He was texted extensively by speech pathologists, neuropsychologists, neurologists, occupational therapists, at Emory University, Vanderbilt University, and the Marcus Institute, from the age of 2. His last diagnosis was done by 3 months of testing by an autism specialist at Reinforcement Unlimited, here in the Atlanta area. It is NOT a psychiatric disorder, and NOT a mental illness. There are dual diagnosis sometimes of bipolar, OCD, ADHD, and it's not uncommon at all for that to occur, or to have a whole list of simultaneously-occuring conditions. So, in that case, you need to have a good team of doctors, including a psychiatrist (a reputable one experienced with autism - yes, they exist), in the case of some of the comorbid disorders, working with you. And getting that diagnosis is NOT SELF PITY.

I cannot imagine how someone would decide to self-diagnose with all the resources available. There ARE specialists.

I really have a hard time taking anyone seriously who insists they have Asperger's, when they've never bothered to get it checked out. It seems unbelievably presumptuous, not to mention disrespectful to all who have been going through the proper diagnostic procedures, as well as those working in the field to help people on the Autistic Spectrum.