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It's not a black and white proposition. Few things in life are.
It would depend how well pronounced the symptoms were. Quite a few people with Asperger's do get married or are in relationships, so evidently it is possible.
Yes, but you're presenting only two options: black or white. You're leaving out all the shades of gray.
Just for the record, this is one very real characteristic of Asperger's...things ARE perceived as black and white, shades of grey are too hard to interpret. As I'm sure you know, since you mention familial connections to Asperger's, and working with people with Asperger's, as do I. Others may not, though. It's really not at all surprising that somebody with Asperger's would focus on the black and white of a particular issue.
And the OP needs to recognize that, hard as it is to understand or to swallow, sometimes there just ISN'T a simple yes/no answer.
if he has problems understanding this, then we shouldn't badger him about it.
OP, the only answer is that it depends.
Think of these questions:
- Would a woman date a man with a criminal record?
- Would a woman date a man with a low-paying job?
- Would a woman date a man with extreme/offensive beliefs?
The answer is, again, it depends. And largely on the woman and her own beliefs and attitudes.
The first point could relate to the severity of the crime. The second could depend on whether the woman herself is in a low-paying job, or if she liked him for him, his job notwithstanding. The third could depend on whether she had similar attitudes.
Just for the record, this is one very real characteristic of Asperger's...things ARE perceived as black and white, shades of grey are too hard to interpret. As I'm sure you know, since you mention familial connections to Asperger's, and working with people with Asperger's, as do I. Others may not, though. It's really not at all surprising that somebody with Asperger's would focus on the black and white of a particular issue.
And the OP needs to recognize that, hard as it is to understand or to swallow, sometimes there just ISN'T a simple yes/no answer.
I had this whole long reply typed out, with personal anecdotes, and I scrapped it, out of respect for my son and father. I just don't think I can put it into words any other way without me sounding like I am unsympathetic to what the OP is going through. BELIEVE ME, I am sympathetic. And this is not about me, or what I deal with, it's about the OP.
I meant no disrespect to you, daugenstine, at all. And I do hope you find the right woman, soon. I mean that with all sincerity.
I'm 31 now, and I'm tired of watching life pass me by. Peer pressure doesn't just end when we graduate high school, nonetheless. I haven't been in a steady relationship for six years and counting now. All the other women I've seen during that time frame were just using me as a rebound guy, and none of them were serious. I surmise they lost interest after I disclosed to them I have Asperger's. I always hear women say they want nice clean-cut guys that treat them with respect. However, they go after the exact opposite everywhere I look. They always go after the bad boys that treat them like dirt. They want the rugged guys with tattoos that drive muscle cars. They seem to think I either have the mind of a child or that I'm too weak to survive. I've managed six years on my own. I also served time in the military in very harsh environments, so I'm more capable than people realize. Few are able to see that, though. One woman was even so bold as to tell me she was afraid I might bite her face off. Would you date a guy with Asperger's who was intelligent and sweet? Or would you rather spend half your energy trying to turn bad boys into princes hoping they won't smash your heart into pieces? It's an honest question.
Why don't you date a lady with Aspergers? Wouldnt that be your best bet?
The women who go after the bad boys arent going to be your speed anyhow, they want the excitement and all that junk. You need to find someone like yourself. Be careful they really have Aspergers and dont have personality disorder or other issues.
It does have a direct impact on my interpersonal skills. Don't you know it's part of the autism spectrum? I didn't ask you you your opinion on labels and whether or not they have any intrinsic value. I'm asking whether or not they'd be willing to take the time to actually understand my disposition or if they'd just take me at face value. Often I feel I might as well tell them I'm HIV-positive when I disclose to them my circumstance.
Dont make mistake of dating someone where you have to be on guard though and always have the interpersonal skills UP. Aspies will cloak, and fake personal skills to get on, but that cant be maintained for a relationship. A relationship will only work if they can handle your habits, like stimming etc, or Aspie desire to sit and read books or analyze things. NTs do not live like Aspies do.
I'm 31 now, and I'm tired of watching life pass me by. Peer pressure doesn't just end when we graduate high school, nonetheless. I haven't been in a steady relationship for six years and counting now. All the other women I've seen during that time frame were just using me as a rebound guy, and none of them were serious. I surmise they lost interest after I disclosed to them I have Asperger's. I always hear women say they want nice clean-cut guys that treat them with respect. However, they go after the exact opposite everywhere I look. They always go after the bad boys that treat them like dirt. They want the rugged guys with tattoos that drive muscle cars. They seem to think I either have the mind of a child or that I'm too weak to survive. I've managed six years on my own. I also served time in the military in very harsh environments, so I'm more capable than people realize. Few are able to see that, though. One woman was even so bold as to tell me she was afraid I might bite her face off. Would you date a guy with Asperger's who was intelligent and sweet? Or would you rather spend half your energy trying to turn bad boys into princes hoping they won't smash your heart into pieces? It's an honest question.
If it's not effecting the relationship, work nor communication skills then it shouldn't be a trouble. Who knows, maybe I have it too (well they said I had something as a toddler but don't remember the name of it.. maybe they meant this too)... I feel kind of weird at times but no one notices it. Then again, it's harder for a guy who has AS than a woman.
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