Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Since when is it wrong to be close to one's parents? That's a virtue, not a vice.
Besides, IMO it is only bad if the parents manage aspects of his life. An adult should, by definition, be self-sufficient and independent and be able to live his own life. This includes having one's own job, own expenses, own house, etc.
I suppose nothing serious. I get along with the in-laws. I just find the daily pattern of intrusion annoying sometimes, like we'll be doing our own thing (watching a movie, cooking, etc.) and then they call and we have to put whatever we were doing on hold. Imagine that happening multiple times a day. Also, my husband, being close to them and filling them in on our lives, naturally runs our decisions by them to get their approval. I guess I never pictured adulthood or marriage like this, still seeking parents approval at our age.
We've been married for 7 months.
They do, and no, not really.
They can be anywhere from 5-20 minutes. Usually. Perhaps not intentionally but I see it as occasionally interfering. Not really, he's just really close to them. And yeah, as others have wrote here, I guess there's nothing wrong with that in itself and I should be glad I married into a close family. I was just wanting feedback on how usual this was because I've never seen it before, at least with a guy.
I don't think the problem is that they call so often, I think that it's the fact that your husband will drop everything to talk to them.
I call my parents (or they call me) daily, but all of us are perfectly willing to accept, "Hey, I'm actually in the middle of something, can I call you back in 20 minutes?" as a perfectly acceptable response.
How normal is it for an adult male (30) to chat on the phone with his parents every single day? My husband's parents live a couple of miles away from us, and he is constantly on the phone with them, at least once a day but anywhere from 1-4 times on a given day. Is this normal and/or healthy? All the other men I've ever dated never did this at all. I've known adult women who are close to their parents who talk to their mothers frequently, but my husband not only has to see his parents and spend time with them at least 1-2 times a week, but they call him every day to chat about mundane stuff going on in each others' lives. It's creeping me out a bit because I'm not used to seeing it. I don't comment on it because for all I know it might be perfectly normal and acceptable. Any thoughts?
No, definitely not normal or healthy, in my opinion. There's some kind of emotional or co-dependency going on.
Since when is it wrong to be close to one's parents? That's a virtue, not a vice.
Besides, IMO it is only bad if the parents manage aspects of his life. An adult should, by definition, be self-sufficient and independent and be able to live his own life. This includes having one's own job, own expenses, own house, etc.
The OP mentioned that he runs details of their life by his parents. Not a healthy sign.
It's good to be close to parents. But life requires balance. There is such a thing as being too close if it interferes with your relationship with your spouse, as his appears to be doing.
I think it is perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with it at all. The fact that you find a man making a phone call to his parents somehow threatening or creepy is a little strange.
You mentioned that the calls are sometimes intrusive and interrupt your plans ie. dinner, TV, what have you.
I don't think there is anything wrong with setting some boundaries. In our house, we don't answer the phone during meal time.
So, I would say you are well within your rights to suggest he let the calls go to VM during dinner or a movie and call his parents later. The more often he doesn't jump when they call, the faster they'll get used to him having a life that is not centered around them!
Once a day is ok. Anything beyond that is a little too clingy. I also agree that other activities should not be interrupted for the phone call.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
