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I agree. Dating many and being honest about it is fine unless the guy is playing with their feelings or something, fooling them, etc. Not nice at all. Or a girl who dates many guys just to score free meals and free entertainment and make them feel they will have a chance to become their boyfriend or something. Rather just be honest about it. I date different girls too as I am not in a relationship at the moment but I don't lie to them telling them how I am in love or whatever. They know its a friend thing and we intent to keep it that way unless we are both on the same page.
See, that is the way it should be. the reason I was getting all freaked out was the talk about meeting family, and marriage, and all of the other stuff.... it kinda threw me for a loop.
Now that things have cooled off to a more casual level, I am having more respect for the one who has backed off a bit. The other one I don't think I want any more, which is good, learning what I want and don't want.
Man was it ever a drama for a few days there though, you guys were right, I was a mess, lol.
The few times I found myself dating three or four women simultaneously didn't last long. I had no desire to keep them all! I was trying to figure out who was the best match, so I could focus on just one, or at most two.
Yes, exactly. Spending time to see who is the better match, instead of being under a highspeed pressure cooker from the get go.
Anyone else have a de facto harem these days? It all sorta happened at once for me, but now that I've got things established and they're cool knowing I'm seeing other women I'm finding it hard to have "me time", which is somethign I didn't expect. Any tips for time management?
Give yourself a day off from dating anyone. Stick to that day but make sure it doesn't interfere with the availiblity of the women.
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Also, how do you track what you talk about with each woman?
Well, you could go the techinical route and do an app on your phone with notes about each one. This could also help you prepare for your date...you know kind of like studying before a test.
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I actually find it kind of funny that I've got so much going on that I sometimes get them mixed up, but I never let on.
Watch yourself on that one. A real player keeps his game tight.
I didn't give him crap about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with dating more than one person, as long as everyone is honest and safe about it. After my long-term boyfriend and I broke up, I decided I wanted to date different people and just have fun. I dated three guys at once. They all knew about the others. Nobody gave me crap about it then or since--heh, except one crabby biddy on this board who called me a sl*t.
Immediate exclusivity is a newer thing. My parents' generation didn't date exclusively until things got serious, hence "going steady" and "pinning" a girl. If people don't want to date like that, that's fine, but there's nothing wrong with dating different people, especially when you first meet ... it's a good way to find who fits you.
That's a pretty good description of how I feel about things.
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Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
I have always had a harem, with a mistress in chief
Chief tip:
One haremess per area where the venn diagram does not overlap in a seven mile radius.
If anything is going to cause problems it's probably going to be this. The two oldest ones know each other and occasionally run in the same social circle. Both are going to a birthday party tomorrow night and they both want me to go with them lol. I kinda wanted to go, not necessarily for them actually, but to see some other people in the social circle I hadn't see in a while, but that's got DANGER! written all over it. It's the weekend and I haven't seen the guys in a while so I'll probably hit a club or something instead. If I don't pick up a fifth then we'll see who booty calls later on.
Something else I'm finding out is that it's easy to get labeled as a player and there can be lots of drama in the form of jealousy/envy and sour grapes when dating muliple women from the same social circle. One of the women I'm seeing from that group I mentioned above told me how a girl I know told her that I'm some big player (trying to c-block I guess, or was jealous). She's a "big girl" I rejected months ago and had to LJBF. I just found it funny that she nodded along and ran straight to me to tell me what the other one said. And this is the oldest woman I'm seeing who did this, not some teenager. The teenager is actually more mature at times and half this one's age. :shrug:
Not sure many men would consider bedding 4 women a week a problem.
The bedding wasn't a problem but the cost of dating four ladies, four christmas gifts, four dinners a week, birthdays, not to mention what going out to drink four times a week cost. There are a lot of smart gals who take advantage of these player types.
Anyone else have a de facto harem these days? It all sorta happened at once for me, but now that I've got things established and they're cool knowing I'm seeing other women I'm finding it hard to have "me time", which is somethign I didn't expect. Any tips for time management?
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Originally Posted by Nutz76
For those that helped out, I liked the idea of fixing them on days of the week. As for the trolls/haters, sticks and stones. All you've done is demonstrate your own insecurities and immaturity. /golfclap
Oh, of course it has nothing to do with the fact that you are an uber-tool that hates women.
I had a whole nother post planned for you, with links and pics, but I just can't do it! damn my good nature!
Don't worry, they are probably not really paying much attention to what you say, either. If you slip up, they probably won't notice.
Before I met my true love (DH), I was dating several men. One was a rich executive VP of a large corporation that bought me expensive gifts and fascinated me with his business prowess. Another was a senior manager of a mechanical engineering group, with whom I had long, endearing conversations. Then there was the lineman, who had other attributes that didn't involve his brain. And so, on.
Then along came DH, and somehow I forgot to return the others' calls. Pretty soon, they just faded away.
I suspect you will fade from their lives, as well. In the meanwhile, you sound like a lot of fun.
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