Serious relationship problem...need advice/help (how to, marry, man, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ok fine people here's the deal. My friend has a serious problem with a relationship he is in and since i don't know what to tell him i need some input. The background is he and his girlfriend are in a serious relationship and have been together for like 6 months. They both claim to love each other and have perfect chemistry. Really they seem like a perfect couple husband and wife to me and others from the outside. Here's the problem his girlfriend's parents believe in arranged marriages. Well i have little understanding of this but he tells me that his girl's parents have found an amicable match and want their daughter to marry this guy they have found. What complicates the situation further is that my friend was getting ready to propose to this girl. The girl is really messed up over the issue b/c she dosen't want to leave my friend but she also dosen't want her parents to hate her. I think it might be a classic case of religious or personal beliefs of one's family getting in the way of two people that are in love. I just found out about this today and i haven't a clue what advice to give my friend, what does everyone think about this, what should my friend do here, he is really stressed out about this b/c he dosen't want to lose his incredible girlfriend?
Your friend should just say goodbye to his girlfriend and let her go. If he stays- he is asking her to choose between her family traditions and her parent's.
That's selfish.
On the other hand...if she disobeyed her parents and went against tradition...what kind of wife/mother would that make? Talk about starting out on the wrong foot.
But that's my two cents. Just thought you wanted input from different angles.
Your friend should just say goodbye to his girlfriend and let her go. If he stays- he is asking her to choose between her family traditions and her parent's.
That's selfish.
On the other hand...if she disobeyed her parents and went against tradition...what kind of wife/mother would that make? Talk about starting out on the wrong foot.
But that's my two cents. Just thought you wanted input from different angles.
So you think she should settle for a lifetime of misery in order to honor her parents and their (insane) traditions...? And that will make her a good wife and mother to boot?
Ok fine people here's the deal. My friend has a serious problem with a relationship he is in and since i don't know what to tell him i need some input. The background is he and his girlfriend are in a serious relationship and have been together for like 6 months. They both claim to love each other and have perfect chemistry. Really they seem like a perfect couple husband and wife to me and others from the outside. Here's the problem his girlfriend's parents believe in arranged marriages. Well i have little understanding of this but he tells me that his girl's parents have found an amicable match and want their daughter to marry this guy they have found. What complicates the situation further is that my friend was getting ready to propose to this girl. The girl is really messed up over the issue b/c she dosen't want to leave my friend but she also dosen't want her parents to hate her. I think it might be a classic case of religious or personal beliefs of one's family getting in the way of two people that are in love. I just found out about this today and i haven't a clue what advice to give my friend, what does everyone think about this, what should my friend do here, he is really stressed out about this b/c he dosen't want to lose his incredible girlfriend?
Tell your friend to bang that girl once and then run for the hills. She can then go marry the parent arranged eunuch with a micro penis
His girlfriend needs to grow some balls(not literally) and tell her parents to stop interfering in her life. Arranged marriages are ridiculous. Especially in this day and age.
If she is going to let her parents tell her who she can marry then he is better off without his "incredible" girlfriend.
Last edited by KylieEve; 08-02-2010 at 07:28 AM..
Reason: .
The Girlfriend needs to tell MOM that she has found a better Husband for her
He's very highly educated and extremely wealthy. Although Dad has been an adequate Husband over the years. Tell her I think this NEW Husband will be better
No offense to Dad
But its time for Mom to trade up.....then tell her its for her own good
Do not stand for any bickering ..tell her that YOU know whats best for her
Sorry, but seriously I feel very strongly about this. Any Parent that wishes their child a long life of misery married to the wrong man long after they have been put in the ground, In this day and age is just selfish and in all honesty, a Deal-breaker. Time for her to separate from her parents..I don't care what country their from.
I wouldn't say that he should dump her. I would say that she is not ready for any kind of marriage and he should not propose to her at this time.
Even without the issue of her parents, six months is not a very long time for people in their early 20s to be dating before a proposal. That's my personal opinion, however, because if I were queen and dictator for a day, no one would be allowed to get married or have kids until they are 30. I just don't think most 20-somethings have the necessary maturity for such things these days--at least judging by some of the nitwits on this board.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,998,362 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
Any woman who is not mature enough to stand up to her parents for what she feels is important is not mature enough for the responsibilities of marriage.
It depends. In some cultures it's a sign of disrespect to do things we in our country take for granted, such as speaking your mind even politely. Things like this fascinate me. For instance, in one culture, it's considered rude to chew your food. LOL I kid you not. So it may seem like common sense or a question of maturity to us, but if that's how your culture lives....
ETA: Forgot to address o/p. I agree with the person who said he should go to the parents asap if he's that concerned/serious about her.
I wouldn't say that he should dump her. I would say that she is not ready for any kind of marriage and he should not propose to her at this time.
Even without the issue of her parents, six months is not a very long time for people in their early 20s to be dating before a proposal. That's my personal opinion, however, because if I were queen and dictator for a day, no one would be allowed to get married or have kids until they are 30. I just don't think most 20-somethings have the necessary maturity for such things these days--at least judging by some of the nitwits on this board.
Oooh, let's institute a marriage-readiness test. If you can pass it at 20, great, get married. If it takes you until 35, too bad, you'd better wait until then.
Test #2 will come when you desire to expand your family and have a child.
It depends. In some cultures it's a sign of disrespect to do things we in our country take for granted, such as speaking your mind even politely. Things like this fascinate me. For instance, in one culture, it's considered rude to chew your food. LOL I kid you not. So it may seem like common sense or a question of maturity to us, but if that's how your culture lives....
Sure, I understand that.
But I'm assuming they live in the U.S. I'm as liberal and appreciative of diversity as the next gal, but I do feel that if you're going to live in the U.S., you need to accept that your kids will not be living in a vacuum and will become Americanized--which means choosing their own spouses.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,998,362 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne
Sure, I understand that.
But I'm assuming they live in the U.S. I'm as liberal and appreciative of diversity as the next gal, but I do feel that if you're going to live in the U.S., you need to accept that your kids will not be living in a vacuum and will become Americanized--which means choosing their own spouses.
Learning the language is one thing. Imagine moving over there and suddenly changing everything like that. Social whiplash. But you're right, if they're from here and this is going on, someone definitely needs to stand up to their parents.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
