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Please tell him before he arrives at your home sees pictures of your son around the house. It could be just calling him and saying:
"Hey, before you come over tonight, there is something I need to tell you and give you the opportunity to decide if you want this to go any further. I apologize for not bringing this up sooner because I just wasn't sure how you would respond. I think alot of you and want to share with you that I have a 4 year old son, Landon. What are your thoughts?"
Go from there but don't let him come over and spring this news upon him. He needs time to digest it and you should give him that without the awkwardness of a face to face intervention in your home.
I love my son so much I am staying in a crappy marriage just to be with him.
You swim shark infested waters for your kids. 18 year COMMITMENT!!
I sure hope you are not hurt when your son calls the daycare provider MOMMY!
Did you quit you job as well to stay home with your kids for 18 yrs. And about that, 18 yrs. my behind, the commitment is until death do you part.
I will be the first to agree that the idea situation would be for one parent to stay home and care for the childrens every need, to be there in the morning, fix a nice breakfast before sending them off to school and to be home when they arrive with a healthy snack. But we dont live in a perfect world and as far as im aware there are no studies proving children are better off staying home with mommy all day than going off to daycare and school. By your logic, being that they have shared custody, 2 people would need to drop out of the work force and get on gov. assistance to be good parents.
I couldn't disagree more. I would think it would just come up in causal conversation anyway. I doesn't have to be like your dropping a bomb on someone.
You just mention it in passing, like oh, btw, I need to go pickup my 4 yr old or something along those lines. If he hangs around then fine, you have you answer. If he doesn't then again, you have your answer.
Seriously... I don't get it, either... Most people would say things as "my husband/BF and I did something/went somewhere" or "my son/daughter and I did whatever"... These are things that normally come up within 5 minutes of a conversation, unless one tries to hide them intentionally.
Seriously... I don't get it, either... Most people would say things as "my husband/BF and I did something/went somewhere" or "my son/daughter and I did whatever"... These are things that normally come up within 5 minutes of a conversation, unless one tries to hide them intentionally.
"Normal" is a very wide spectrum and not everyone wants to - or should - share intimate details of their lives with a guy they met in a bar. Some people are more "private" than others and that is not, necessarily, a bad thing. Now, clearly, the OP has decided to try to take this relationship to another level and that is the time to tell him of the existence of a son.
All the other stuff, whether she should have got divorced, whether her custody arrangements are appropriate, etc., are really none of our business and are not relevant to the original question. Naturally, some of the posters on here, secure in their moral armor, think that they are right and that the OP is wrong. Who knows? Maybe they are wrong or maybe they are both right. Facts and circumstances differ in every situation and I, for one, prefer not to be judgemental.
Seriously... I don't get it, either... Most people would say things as "my husband/BF and I did something/went somewhere" or "my son/daughter and I did whatever"... These are things that normally come up within 5 minutes of a conversation, unless one tries to hide them intentionally.
Maybe it's just me then, but I usually refrain from talking about kids in a bar. I judt don't think it's the right atmosphere for such conversation after only meeting 5 minutes ago.
Here's how it would go:
"Sure! I'd love to down this shot - did I mention I have a 4 year old?"
I mean, seriously??
Last edited by proudvoterofObama; 08-03-2010 at 10:42 AM..
Reason: Hypothetically speaking of course!
"Normal" is a very wide spectrum and not everyone wants to - or should - share intimate details of their lives with a guy they met in a bar. Some people are more "private" than others and that is not, necessarily, a bad thing.
You know, I'm one of the most private people you'd meet, and yet when I was married I thought it'd be perfectly normal to say "my husband and I" did something when I didn't do it alone. There's usually nothing "intimate" about such everyday expressions even though the first clue I gave in the office about getting a divorce was mentioning I am going on vacation, so I can sort of see your point, too. The bottom line is I most definitely know how to avoid things and dodge questions, so I also know that's done deliberately!
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