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Had a rather strange situation happen to me last night, and I'm curious to hear what you all might have done in a similar situation. Long post, please bear with me.
Late last night (about midnight), I was just getting ready to head off to sleep in my apartment when I heard a soft knock on my door. I open the door and it turns out to be a young woman (I'm guessing mid to late 20s) that lives across the hall from me in my complex, tears streaming down her face asking if she could come in and use my phone. I obliged, as she was obviously scared, she indicated that she knew almost no English. She had me lock both the handle and chain on the door.
She had recently moved to the USA with her husband (both from Turkey). Unfortunately, my phone plan doesn't allow international calls and she wasn't able to reach her first intended party (who was in Turkey). So she called a couple of other numbers in the US, and one that was local. At this point she is still quite upset, and gesturing was only getting us so far for communication, so I fire up Google Translator on my computer and get to discussion.
It turns out that her husband was abusing her, trying to kill her, or something to that effect (she didn't have any obvious marks that I could see). I immediately asked her if she would like me to call the police so that they could help, but she appeared just as afraid of them as she was of her husband and asked me not to call them. After a few minutes and calming down slightly, she called up another phone number, her uncle in Connecticut. After she spoke with him for a bit (I'm guessing, relaying her story) handed the phone to me, and her uncle in rather broken English told me he would get here to help, saying the drive would be a couple of hours (in reality about 7 hours).
As much as I wanted to call the police, I decided against it. Perhaps she was an illegal immigrant, or perhaps she had been taught to fear the police (I discussed the event with my mom, apparently abusive husbands of immigrants teach them to be afraid). But either way, she had put her trust in me during a situation where she was afraid for her life in a country where she could not communicate in the major language, and I wasn't about to break that trust. Now if she hadn't been able to get a hold of her uncle, I would have called the police since she would have no safe place to go.
Apparently, the local number that she called was that of her husband, and he proceeded to call my phone back numerous times, with her asking me not to answer so we ignored it. I don't believe he knew where I lived yet, just that she had called from my phone. At this point, he must have called the police at around 3 or 4am, which only scared her more... to the point where she went and tried to hide under my bed but it was too low, so she went and hid in my closet. The police car sat outside for a couple of hours, they knocked, rang my bell, and called my phone but we didn't answer. She had turned all the lights off so they wouldn't see any movement inside. Eventually the cop left.
Fast forward a few hours, and a couple of calls with her uncle later and he's nearly arrived to where I live. In the meantime we were talking over the Google Translator... discovered that her hometown in Turkey has a big business in hazelnuts. By this time she had calmed down a bit more. I had called into my workplace to let them know I was going to be a couple of hours late (it's an automated service) but it seemed to be malfunctioning. I then receive a call that looks like it's from a familiar number (I'm thinking it's probably the administrative assistant that manages the Sick Phone at work), but it turns out it was the police again. This time they asked if I had seen her, missing person, etc... and stubbornly said that I had let her use my phone earlier that night to make a call (they had gotten my phone number from her husband's caller id). I also alluded that I had not seen her since then, since she was still so afraid of them, and I took the officer's phone number.
Her uncle arrives out in the parking lot, and she has me peek into the hall to make sure her husband isn't waiting, the go out to her waiting uncle and indicate back to her when the coast is clear. Seems her husband was either sleeping, or had left for work, so she was able to make it to her uncle's car alright. She, her uncle and aunt were very grateful that I had been able to help her. Her uncle said that he wanted to go get her things, but he was so angry (with her husband) that he would come back later with a police officer for safety's sake. So I provided him with the officer's phone number that called me, and my number so they could use me as a witness. They leave without incident, and I then leave for work.
I would change my phone number for starters. For one thing, it's easy to find someone's address with just your phone number. Lot's of sites like Intellius will run a report on someone for about $10, and you'll find out a lot of personal info on them. Not trying to make you paranoid, but if this husband of hers is determined to find out where she placed that call from, it won't take much for him to find you.
Aside from that, it's a tough call. You want to help someone in need, but you don't want to get caught in the middle of some jihad and risk getting into a confrontation with the husband. Seems like you were able to help her out without putting yourself into harms way, but I'd be hesitant to answer my door if she ever knocks again. I wouldn't want to be caught up in that mess.
Last edited by Coolhand68; 08-05-2010 at 03:00 PM..
Reason: Spelling
Definitely would have done it differently, I would have talked to the police.
First... Why would you cover for someone in this country illegally and not talk to the police?
Secondly... Someone who truely fears this man is not going to call him from your phone...it doesn't add up, even if shes unfamiliar with how caller ID works.
Lastly...you seem to be unfamiliar with domestic violence, so I'll give you some info...typically, women return to their abusers and I believe she wanted him to know where she was. You are not out of danger and there still may be repercussions for you.
I would have talked to the police, too. This was a lot more than someone needing to use your phone, and you don't know if the husband was really abusive and if so, what he would do if he found out where she was.
call the cops first thing ASAP for all you know her hubby could be on his way to your place with a loaded shotgun why take the chance. the local police station will have tranlators and can offer her better proctection from an abuser and find her a womens shelter to be safe get things sorted out.
they can also help her file charges and a restraining order against her husband if she so wishes.
Aside from that, it's a tough call. You want to help someone in need, but you don't want to get caught in the middle of some jihad and risk getting into a confrontation with the husband. Seems like you were able to help her out without putting yourself into harms way, but I'd be hesitant to answer my door if she ever knocks again. I wouldn't want to be caught up in that mess.
True, but even though it is dangerous to put myself into a position where my health and safety are at risk... if not me, then who? To follow a couple of famous quotes... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode
Definitely would have done it differently, I would have talked to the police.
First... Why would you cover for someone in this country illegally and not talk to the police?
You know as well as any that our legal system is broken, and chances of being able to find a Turkish interpreter at that hour are slim at best. While I may not agree with people entering the country illegally, I surely won't judge someone on it when there is a present danger to their safety. I also have a strong distrust of authority and police, rampant corruption and illegal tactics rule the ranks of many departments. In fact, a local police department just underwent an investigation over the past year directly resulting in the incarceration of 3 highly ranked officers (chief, deputy-chief and seargent I believe) as well as the termination of 8 other officers for corruption related events.
Quote:
Secondly... Someone who truely fears this man is not going to call him from your phone...it doesn't add up, even if shes unfamiliar with how caller ID works.
I believe that she may have gotten her phone numbers accidentally mixed up... the piece of paper she had was torn and barely legible.
Quote:
Lastly...you seem to be unfamiliar with domestic violence, so I'll give you some info...typically, women return to their abusers and I believe she wanted him to know where she was. You are not out of danger and there still may be repercussions for you.
While I am not personally familiar with it, I know enough about it to recognize that many women return to their abusers. However, with the knowledge that her Uncle was going to be contacting the police to help get her belongings that it would be sufficient.
Alrighty then...you have all the answers...whats the purpose of the post?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RowingMunkeyCU
True, but even though it is dangerous to put myself into a position where my health and safety are at risk... if not me, then who? To follow a couple of famous quotes... "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
You know as well as any that our legal system is broken, and chances of being able to find a Turkish interpreter at that hour are slim at best. While I may not agree with people entering the country illegally, I surely won't judge someone on it when there is a present danger to their safety. I also have a strong distrust of authority and police, rampant corruption and illegal tactics rule the ranks of many departments. In fact, a local police department just underwent an investigation over the past year directly resulting in the incarceration of 3 highly ranked officers (chief, deputy-chief and seargent I believe) as well as the termination of 8 other officers for corruption related events.
I believe that she may have gotten her phone numbers accidentally mixed up... the piece of paper she had was torn and barely legible.
While I am not personally familiar with it, I know enough about it to recognize that many women return to their abusers. However, with the knowledge that her Uncle was going to be contacting the police to help get her belongings that it would be sufficient.
the fact is you are not the law and you can't really protect her or help her that is what the cops are there for in these exact situations.
you should of let her in then called 9-1-1 right away then wait for the police to show up. they will also take a report or statment from you which could help her and if something does happen again atleast it is in the police report that she is in a abusive reationship.
Alrighty then...you have all the answers...whats the purpose of the post?
Just because I rebut a post does not mean that there is no point to the original.
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