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Old 08-07-2010, 12:42 PM
 
Location: back in Boston
371 posts, read 892,246 times
Reputation: 589

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Try being more romantic. Or maybe you need to help out more with the housework.
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Old 08-07-2010, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Griffin, Georgia
749 posts, read 2,078,902 times
Reputation: 723
Stressed? Maybe...Tired, possibly....I don't see those as excuses BTW. Yes he does complain about work but don't a lot of most people?

Seeing someone else? I may need to investigate that one....

Hell, he never even spends the night at my place anymore...

How many hints can you make really? A confirmed heterosexual male who claims to be in love...HEL-LO! It may have been longer than a month for all I know, and it's not a long distance relationship either, BTW...he lives right there in my town...go figure.

Porn? I'm not sure, all I have seen are his stacks of PS3 and XBOX360 games, and the only one that's even remotely risque would have to be Lara Croft, Tomb Raider...he's got that one.
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Old 08-07-2010, 12:45 PM
 
Location: 112 Ocean Avenue
5,706 posts, read 9,584,450 times
Reputation: 8932
Having sex can lead to other unintended consequences. Some examples would be hugging, kissing, foreplay, and even having to talk to your partner.

Your boyfriend might be weighing the odds of having sex and then dealing with the consequences later on.
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,168 posts, read 20,716,770 times
Reputation: 19858
He's probably not turned on by you anymore. At least not enough to want you on a regular basis. If it's once a month now, it won't get better after you've married.

Explore all of the possibilities before you make any harsh decisions. Once you've ruled out stress, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and any issues he may be willing to admit either about himself or about you, then you can start making other plans that don't include him.
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Broken Promise Land
301 posts, read 824,934 times
Reputation: 505
Quote:
Originally Posted by smoky_topaz View Post
Stressed? Maybe...Tired, possibly....I don't see those as excuses BTW. Yes he does complain about work but don't a lot of most people?

Seeing someone else? I may need to investigate that one....

Hell, he never even spends the night at my place anymore...

How many hints can you make really? A confirmed heterosexual male who claims to be in love...HEL-LO! It may have been longer than a month for all I know, and it's not a long distance relationship either, BTW...he lives right there in my town...go figure.

Porn? I'm not sure, all I have seen are his stacks of PS3 and XBOX360 games, and the only one that's even remotely risque would have to be Lara Croft, Tomb Raider...he's got that one.
There is definitely a disconnect somewhere other than the bedroom.

It's possible, he wants to end things but doesn't want to deal with the messiness of it. You haven't given a lot of info about your relationship outside of the bedroom, so I can only speculate. Looks to me like he's disengaging from the relationship, so it will be easier to end it. Or maybe he wants you to end it.
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Old 08-07-2010, 02:41 PM
Ep-
 
2,080 posts, read 4,159,946 times
Reputation: 2476
hes getting it elsewhere
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Old 08-07-2010, 02:56 PM
 
6,497 posts, read 11,776,786 times
Reputation: 11123
May have another life you're not aware of, if you get my drift.
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Old 08-07-2010, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Apple Valley Calif
7,474 posts, read 22,823,943 times
Reputation: 5682
That is the reason people get engaged before marriage, so they can find out all the ways they are compatible, and all the ways they aren't compatible.
You have discovered a huge incompatibility between you, and it will only get worse. You're already thinking about cheating, just wait until you have been married a few years.
Cut your loses and get out now, before you make a huge mistake. If you don't, you will pay the price for years, and once you have children it will become even harder to get out..
Think with your head, not your heart....
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Old 08-07-2010, 03:23 PM
 
7,708 posts, read 12,556,053 times
Reputation: 12348
Quote:
Originally Posted by smoky_topaz View Post

My BF/fiance have not had sex in over a month!!!!!Yes believe it or not!This is just nuts!!! I am not a nymphomaniac by a long shot, but please....this is just not what I think is the "norm". This is only the first year of the relationship too BTW!!!. Should I just get a vibrator maybe? I am almost tempted to look for a boytoy or something....But that is not like to me to cheat or wander astray...sorry, I am just FED UP...If this is what I signed on for I might as well make a platonic friend. Any advice/suggestions???? If you were into a ten year marriage that would be one thing, but the first year of a dating relationship...now that's another story...
Are you suppose to be talking to HIM and not US? How embarrassing for him!!
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:07 PM
 
Location: DFW
40,929 posts, read 48,896,276 times
Reputation: 54915
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893 View Post
Are you suppose to be talking to HIM and not US? How embarrassing for him!!
She just needs to sit him down and say "Alright bud what's up ?" (or in her case what's not up)

You need some truthful answers. Actively Listen and don''t try to over talk him or tell him he's wrong. It could be mental, it could be physical.
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