Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
No desperation at all. I belong to pal-talk and I belong to different blues group and we listen to blues music and chat. Many people have met this way and have gotten married and some relationships haven't worked out. It's like the real world, you meet, date, if it's gonna last it will with alot of hard work put into it. Love always happens when you least expect it, weather it be on-line or at your sister's house.
I am with everyone else on this one.
The world that we live in now, on-line dating or "hooking-up" is the norm more than not so.
I now have 6 friends that have meet their husband/wife online.
It give people that small amount of space needed and no harsh in your face rejection like you could get from meeting someone another way.
Please give me your honest answers here...do you believe that meeting someone online versus the traditional way (thru work,friends,etc) is taken as a sign of desperation and used as last resort... Thanks
I hope not. Honestly, as you get older, it becomes harder and harder to meet single people, especially if you don't have a wide social network in place. Not saying it can't happen, but at least with online dating you can presume that someone is there because they're interested in a relationship. I know that the odds of actually meeting someone are astronomically huge, but at least they're there.
Please give me your honest answers here...do you believe that meeting someone online versus the traditional way (thru work,friends,etc) is taken as a sign of desperation and used as last resort... Thanks
No I don't think it as being desperate.I met my b/f on a non-dating site about 5 yrs ago and we're still together.
On the pro side, there are many of the things people have listed herein already.
Another aspect of the pro side is that one may get to know an individual's personality more deeply and intimately because the computer tends to lend an impersonal aspect which allows people to open up MORE, say things and venture into topical areas they otherwise might not so soon in a relationship.
The downside of that very thing is that it's words; because of the impersonal aspect people can say and do whatever they want online. People often tend to NOT be realistic in everyday life and for all the potential regarding openness, there is NOTHING to suggest that people will be more realistic online; in fact, the opposite. People posting pictures ten years old or just free to say whatever they think the other person wants to hear -- all without the visual cues we typically use to judge truth vs fiction.
Another downside follows up on that bit about visual cues, although in a different area: Chemistry.
Whether speaking of pheromones or just the "truth" of pictures presented, or even of how easy it is to EDIT what one says online as compared to, say, a person who doesn't speak all that well in public but is eloquent online -- there is the question of chemistry.
I know I've met a few people online and we've gotten along famously, only to meet in public and for things to not feel simply awkward as they might on a first meeting, but for that first meeting to also be the last communication -- PERIOD. A person with whom one talks for weeks or even months may reach that first vis-a-vis and feel NOTHING.
It's really not a question of fault or even necessarily one of shallowness; it's simply that an important part of the equation has been potentially left out.
The majority of people who met more traditionally met through a sense of attraction and then had to take time to get to know one another, determine whether the attraction was purely physical or there was more beneath, enough to keep one another moving forward with this.
In the modern age people can become incredibly attracted to a person's words, expressiveness, the personality as much as it's possible for it to shine through, and that's amazing -- giving real substance to the notion that it's what's inside that matters in a way heretofore impossible to examine.
But...
Even pictures can hide bad skin; poetry online won't reveal to you that he picks his nose and his hygiene could use an upgrade, or that she has a real tendency toward a potty-mouth and wants to be treated like a princess in public. The most amazing conversations won't tell you how he'll be unable to keep his eyes off your breasts or that she's less "demure" and more an outright prude.
And nothing can quite prepare us all for the shock which comes from seeing, smelling and hearing a person, seeing how they move, how their facial expressions shift and change.
Like it or not, those things can be pretty important as factors of attraction.
So really, all we've done is make meeting people more efficient and cast a wider net, moving on to the important steps of hopefully getting to know them WHILE skipping the important physical steps -- which still provide plenty of room for disappointment and failure and confusion.
It's hard to believe that such ignorance persists. About 20% of relationships now begin online. It's simply a more efficient and effective way for many people to meet compatible people whom they would never encounter otherwise. Many people simply do not have the opportunity to meet suitable people offline due to their work, schedule, location, or perhaps an uncommon preference or circumstance.
I think that people who hang out in bars hoping to meet someone who is actually a good match are far more desperate - or perhaps just predatory!
Please give me your honest answers here...do you believe that meeting someone online versus the traditional way (thru work,friends,etc) is taken as a sign of desperation and used as last resort... Thanks
Of course not. I don't know how anyone can think that these days.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't know how anyone can think that these days.
