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poetry online won't reveal to you that he picks his nose and his hygiene could use an upgrade, or that she has a real tendency toward a potty-mouth and wants to be treated like a princess in public. The most amazing conversations won't tell you how he'll be unable to keep his eyes off your breasts or that she's less "demure" and more an outright prude.
Of course not. But the term "online dating" should never actually mean that anyone is dating online...that is ludicrous in itself. Online dating is simply a first step in FINDING a person. Just like running into someone in the library, or a friend who "has a friend", or any other method. You'll never get to know the *real* person, until you actually spend time with them. You don't date online...that term itself is such a misnomer.
With all due respect, this question and some of the replies are "so early 2000's".
As someone who has tried this avenue with success, I will say that it's simply another method for making connections with people. In my experience, it's enabled me to meet people that I would otherwise NEVER have met.
As ChessieMom stated, the term "online dating" is a misnomer in the vast majority of cases. Yes, there are instances where people never meet, and carry on their relationship through the computer. However, in the majority of cases, people meet up *in person* quite soon after initiating contact. There isn't too long of a time where you can hide behind a picture taken 20 years ago, or hide your bad hygiene.
I wouldn't call people who find people through online resources desperate in the least. I would actually commend them for using their common sense, and opening up their world to MANY more options than they would have in their everyday life.
Of course not. But the term "online dating" should never actually mean that anyone is dating online...that is ludicrous in itself. Online dating is simply a first step in FINDING a person. Just like running into someone in the library, or a friend who "has a friend", or any other method. You'll never get to know the *real* person, until you actually spend time with them. You don't date online...that term itself is such a misnomer.
I'm not certain whether you're disagreeing with me or not. However, I'd argue that people DO "date" online before ever meeting one another.
What is meeting, vs what is dating?
I dare say if you evaluate those two terms you'll discover they coincide nicely with everything I've said thus far.
I haven't even remotely suggested that people who meet this way are desperate, nor that this method is any more unsuccessful OR successful than the traditional method; I've simply pointed out differences.
Absolutely not! When I started using online dating back in 1996, it was more of a last resort thing, back in those times, I think there were more desperate and overweight people, don't get me wrong, you will still find a lot of weirdos on these sites but I have also met a lot of cool, decent people on these websites.
I have been using plentyoffish since October/09 and it is a good way to meet people, I would not say that a person should rely strictly on a site like plentyoffish to meet people but it can be very effective!
One time, I was flying to go to an event in Tulsa, OK and I decided to see if I could find a date to go with me, just for kicks, I ended up meeting a girl there, we went to the event, together, then hit a couple bars, had a blast and heck, we even spent the night together, the whole thing was awesome! We are still friends and talk almost on a daily basis.
No it doesn't and quite frankly I'm sick to death of people saying this. Welcome to the 21st century - and please remove your head from under that rock (directed at the people who are so judgmental and spout off like they have a clue)
Why don't you get your head out of the sand and realize that some people do use on-line dating services because they are desperate! Is that such a hard concept to follow, or do you believe that every single person is the same? I also find it interesting that the people who use on-line dating services are the ones who claim that they are not desperate. But let me point a few things out:
1. There is a difference between using an on-line dating site and an on-line social network. Most people don't cruise Internet social networks looking for 'dates'. Yes, I know that there are a few who do this, but generally if someone hooks up on say City-Data, or another forum it is usually an unexpected event. However....
2. People sign up on eHarmony, Match dot com, Craigslist, etc. for a reason. They are specifically looking, hoping, to meet someone. And, they are specifically looking to meet someone that fits their bill. Now, one can easily argue this -at least philosophically- either way. Yet, if you cannot understand how one version of this scenario seems desperate, then it is you who have the problem with being judgmental...at least with your self.
Of course not. But the term "online dating" should never actually mean that anyone is dating online...that is ludicrous in itself. Online dating is simply a first step in FINDING a person. Just like running into someone in the library, or a friend who "has a friend", or any other method. You'll never get to know the *real* person, until you actually spend time with them. You don't date online...that term itself is such a misnomer.
I don't have much time today, but I had one revelation that I wanted to ask you.
On Wednesday, a female friend of mine said to us, "I create an online account just for an ego boost." How common is that?
in a nutshell its about disclosure, on internet there isnt any. its not a pleasant experience. 40% of those online are married and misrepresenting themselves. i think here is the bottom line. that women that try to meet on line are aware that the fish are no longer biting.
after the first divorce settlement runs out-- gals get the reality check. up to then gals really were living in a wizard of oz fantasy spun by gloria steinem.
what the gals find when they come out of the dream-- is that boy friends are not near as helpful as a husband.
and expect much much more. no place to find this out faster than the internet.
is that boy friends are not near as helpful as a husband
That's true. Also, "dating" is just too much of a hassle from a practical standpoint once you're past your 20s. I for one don't have the time and energy for it unless the object of my affection lives within a 5-mile radius.
The use of the word "desperate" to me in this context brings up the idea that people who go online looking for a partner are unable to find someone any place else. While I'm sure this is the case for some people who do this, I would wager that the *vast* majority see this as a good tool to meet people that they otherwise would not meet in their everyday life.
Sure, there are people on the Net who misrepresent themselves, as there are in the offline world. However, if one uses a modicum of common sense, this pretty much becomes a non-issue.
In terms of my own situation, and the "meeting" vs "dating" thing...I had been chatting with my now bf for about a year or so on an online forum before we became serious. He was about 1000 miles away, and we arranged for me to go visit him about 4 months after we knew this was "something". I'm not too much into "dating anniversaries", but when asked, I do say that we've been dating since February of 2006, the time of our first physical meeting.
I found out a LOT about him in those 4 months though. With web cams, phone and other tools, you can certainly find out a lot about a person. The one thing that truly bugged me though was that he was "separated". He indicated that he had been away from his wife for about a year and a half, but I knew that this was something that I would not be sure of until I actually went there and saw it for myself. Sure enough, upon my first minute or so in his house, I was convinced.
I think that quite a few people fall into the trap of "falling in love" before they actually meet and spend time with someone. My general view is to each their own, but personally I believe that the meeting is necessary, and should be done as soon as practicable.
In my own circumstance, I wouldn't label my finding someone online as desperate, in the least. I found someone with common interests as my own, and it went from there.
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(directed at the people who are so judgmental and spout off like they have a clue)
