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It's an anniversary of a date, like at 5 years and you get a watch at work.
I don't think they are asking for acceptance of their lifestyle choice, or if you merely say "congratulations" you are condoning anything.
I mean heck. If two of your friends have been married 20 years and have an anniversary party and are well known for being miserable, what are you going to do? Not come to the party as a political statement?
It's an anniversary of a date, like at 5 years and you get a watch at work.
I don't think they are asking for acceptance of their lifestyle choice, or if you merely say "congratulations" you are condoning anything.
I mean heck. If two of your friends have been married 20 years and have an anniversary party and are well known for being miserable, what are you going to do? Not come to the party as a political statement?
Well I guess they would still be together because misery loves company
good think about the living together only, just bail out!
Person overboard!!
Maybe that couple sees moving in together as the official start of the adult phase of their relationship. A lot of married couples are together for a year or more before their married, but those years don't 'count' when you're celebrating an anniversary. If marriage is not for them, but they wanted a specific way to 'count' or whatever, then I don't see what the big issue is. Other people use the first kiss, or first date, or the first time they told each other "I love you," etc.
Personally, I see way too many immature/headed for doom marriages that happen because folks want to do things the so-called 'right' way ... and now I'm watching their divorces. I'll pass on that, and rather than celebrate the day I threw a big party and told 200 people I sort of know "Hey, I'm shacking up with this guy!!," I'll just celebrate my relationship.
Maybe that couple sees moving in together as the official start of the adult phase of their relationship. A lot of married couples are together for a year or more before their married, but those years don't 'count' when you're celebrating an anniversary. If marriage is not for them, but they wanted a specific way to 'count' or whatever, then I don't see what the big issue is. Other people use the first kiss, or first date, or the first time they told each other "I love you," etc.
Personally, I see way too many immature/headed for doom marriages that happen because folks want to do things the so-called 'right' way ... and now I'm watching their divorces. I'll pass on that, and rather than celebrate the day I threw a big party and told 200 people I sort of know "Hey, I'm shacking up with this guy!!," I'll just celebrate my relationship.
Good points,
You never realize the changes in the world until you see that you are the "older generation"
Marriage has changed and evolved just like everything else in society. I think the "doomed" marriages just have to allow themselves time to roll with the tides before bailing out.
I am sure hubs and I were quite "doomed" more than once.We were young, poor, not done with college. Now we are old poor and I am back in college!
There is some validation in saying the vows.
My ex husband and I had a 10 year living together anniversary party. We invited all of our friends and family then surprised them all by getting married.
The people who were kind of rude about the living together party were completely taken aback and our real friends were very happy for us.
In retrospect we should have just stayed happily living together because 3 years later we were divorced.
I fail to see why they would care about your approval. If you don't want to say "congratulations" which is a polite and the right thing to say here, just smile and don't say anything.
bring out the balloons and the cheering and say congratulations.
god bless women that live with you. thank you ladies for living with us. its not the live in's that will harm you-- its the "do the right thing" gals that will smack you with a 1/2 million plus divorce lawsuit in a few years.
treat women good that you date and/or live with, they deserve it, they are honest. strangely enough- its the "do the right thing" gals that get the backing of the church and family, even when you are renting a room and paying most of your salary to alimony. "son, we know you did her wrong, why else would a poor women ever divorce you?"
lets hear it for the live in's.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 08-10-2010 at 09:21 AM..
I agree with you OP. I'll be surprised but I'll still congrats them for living together for 3 years.
Yes I am going with the "that is nice" statement Pleasant but not confrontational.
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