Single guy with a vasectomy; socially abnormal according to society. (guys, loving)
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Also, there is a form of female bc that they won't give you if you don't already have a child. I really don't know why they don't let people make thier own decisions in life..
I haven't read through the whole thread, so apologies if this gets repeated .... I believe you are thinking of the Mirena. Nulliparous (non-child producing) women are generally not candidates for that because the cervix has not been dilated by childbirth and the uterus is too firm (weird, but I feel like bragging "I have a perky womb!" ) for insertion. I have read posts from childless women who did get that device. Most of them describe it as a very unpleasant experience.
Vasectomy - my advice to a guy wanting one and running into a brick wall from a non-enlightened urologist is to go through Family Planning. My dh (then fiance) didn't get any nonsense from them. He had to have one counseling session where they basically said "this is a difficult procedure to reverse. are you sure about your decision?" When he said "you betcha!", the counselor pulled out the consent form and scheduled the appointment.
I'm a Chinese woman that has never wanted to have children. So I'd not have any problems having a relationship with a man that had had a vasectomy. My boyfriend has talked about getting one, but it really doesn't matter to me as I'm not that fertile anymore.
I think that more men would opt for a vasectomy, but they are babies about having a scalpel approach their privates.
I just want to know why does society still seem to project the image of being childless, with no desire to have biological children as being socially abnormal.
I'm a young, single male who opted to have a vasectomy at my current age of 26. Not only have my family and friends given me a hard time (instead of just accepting my decisions) but one of my prospective urologist advised I see a psychotherapist for possible mental issues. Needless to say I opted for a different surgeon.
My reasons for making this decision have nothing to do with my physical desires for the opposite sex or underlying emotional issues. My parents have been happily married for 40 years with 4 boys as a result. I just sincerely believe that, if chosen as an option in the future; adoption is a selfless way of providing an otherwise unwanted child with the opportunity to have a great life. Although I do have to admit my parents were severely heartbroken upon hearing the news. I just believe procreating for the sake of "leaving a legacy" is quite vain and immature.
Certain women, especially minority (black, asian, hispanic\latin) seem too quick to write off someone such as myself upon finding out I'm snipped without letting me give a legitimate explanation. I am black and my actions seem to be taboo for my community which is absurd. Is it because of strong ties to their cultural and religious beliefs? I'm not the lest bit discouraged, just a bit curious as to why this is even an issue for society as a collective. I couldn't be more happy with my decision.
its a choice, its as socially abnormal as being gay.
you're 26, everyone will tell you, anything permanent you do to your body now, you may regret in the future. if you were 40 and you'd made your desicions and tasted success and failure enough to make an experienced desicion, you would be met with less contention against the subject.
you're 26, i believe your doctor said you need a psychiatrist because to me your post may have the words of "i want to adopt because i want to do the right thing" but your tone implies that you have been influenced through the ignorance of other people into your desicion. so i think your doctor may have detected the same implied self deprecation and asked that you talk it out with a professional prior to your desicion.
its like those guys who get surgically implanted spikes in their head because its cool, or large loops in their ears to help them fit in. this could be a decision that makes you feel like you're doing your part for humanity. but when you meet the right person, your mind may change.
I LOVE kids, but I never wanted my own. My doctor would not refer me for a tubal ligation until I was 30 or married. I respected his recommendation. When I got married, I got fixed. Wished I had done it sooner.
Don't let people fool you - you can still have children. You can adopt or become a step parent.
Good on you. If I had the money, I'd try to get one scheduled tomorrow and I just turned 25. Also, about the doctors who won't perform the procedure without you already having kids, what's to stop a guy from just lying and saying I've got two kids at home? How is the doctor going to know if he has kids or not? Do they make him bring them in as proof? So stupid.
I'm a Chinese woman that has never wanted to have children. So I'd not have any problems having a relationship with a man that had had a vasectomy. My boyfriend has talked about getting one, but it really doesn't matter to me as I'm not that fertile anymore.
I think that more men would opt for a vasectomy, but they are babies about having a scalpel approach their privates.
its a choice, its as socially abnormal as being gay.
I'll have to disagree with this. Being gay is not a choice, whereas people who don't want children can still get married and have them and make the best out of the situation--and even get some enjoyment from the parenting process. It is very much a choice. Just like it's your choice to become a doctor or a dentist. I just don't want to be told that I have to become a doctor or a dentist when I don't want to be one.
Young people are not told that they have a choice. When the matter of children comes along, they hear, "When you have children ..." or "When you become a mother/father." It's never, "If you want to have children." Parenting is presented as a no-other-option type deal; there is a built-in assumption that it is going to happen one day ... or else face social persecution (e.g., not be a part of the herd). Anyone who has normal physical urges eventually comes to associated s-e-x with procreation, even though it does not have to be that way.
I remember being married and looking at our financial picture. By that time, a lot of my friends were already parents, and they were struggling financially, pretty darned bad, wondering if they'd ever have any retirement monies left after their kids left the nest. People who had kids young in life are still paying off that debt even after the kids are gone. Personally, I don't have to choose between getting one child braces and the other child getting a tonsillectomy on top of figuring out how to make rent/mortgage/car payment, etc.
I'm not saying that only wealthy people should have children; what I am saying is that they are largely a creature comfort, and they cost a lot of money--a quarter of a mill a head, if recent stats are right. These are figures that need to be taught in high school home economics.
You are winner! I am 33, have no children and probably will get a vasectomy this year, I take pride in not being one of these walking messes I see at the store with 3, 4 kids that can't even take care of themselves, much less somebody else.
Tired of supporting all these futureless children with my tax dollars. Some of these parents should be arrested!
Not only have my family and friends given me a hard time (instead of just accepting my decisions) but one of my prospective urologist advised I see a psychotherapist for possible mental issues. Needless to say I opted for a different surgeon.
That's f'ed up. Sorry to hear that mike.
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) for insertion. I have read posts from childless women who did get that device. Most of them describe it as a very unpleasant experience.
