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How would you feel if the girl you were dating had a lot of student loan debt (say about $50k) and you know that you may be the one that will have to pay it off if you get married to her (the assumption being that a woman may have to quit work to have and care for children etc.).
I'm assuming this would put enormous strain on the relationship? Would it also make you feel really vulnerable knowing that if she left you, not only would she get half of everything you own but also would have her entire student debt paid off and you would be left with nothing but the clothes on your back.
Inside the distance of three sentences you went from dating this person, to getting married, having kids, and then her leaving you with nothing.
I'd say stop thinking so far ahead. Enjoy the dating and let her worry about her student loan debt. For one thing, it's a student loan, it's not as though she charged up $50K worth of credit card debt at the mall or casino. For another, don't think in such a self-defeating manner. If you trust your judgment and things lead to marriage, don't sabotage the relationship in your head by thinking she'll leave and take half your stuff with her. If that is a primary concern to you, then you need to rethink marriage altogether, because anyone can potentially clean you out, and having student loan debt is not a red flag so long as she's making efforts to pay it off.
Unless he co-signed on the student loan, it will always be hers to pay off. The only thing would be if the divorce settlement required him to pay extra support linked to the debt.
How would you feel if the girl you were dating had a lot of student loan debt (say about $50k) and you know that you may be the one that will have to pay it off if you get married to her (the assumption being that a woman may have to quit work to have and care for children etc.).
I'm assuming this would put enormous strain on the relationship? Would it also make you feel really vulnerable knowing that if she left you, not only would she get half of everything you own but also would have her entire student debt paid off and you would be left with nothing but the clothes on your back.
There is so much wrong with this I don't know where to start. As Coolhand said, slow down.
Next, you're going to be hard-pressed to find any college-educated person who doesn't have debt these days. The exceptions are people who have extremely wealthy parents or who won full scholarships. Education is expensive, and most people in the middle class simply can't afford it without taking out student loans.
Next, don't even entertain thoughts of having to pay off her student loan. It's her loan. Besides, it's in her best interest to pay it off. It's one of the best ways to establish good credit for use later on, like buying a home. You should be thankful you've met someone who is meeting her responsibilities and paying it back. If you do end up together, her credit rating will help the both of you. If you're that paranoid should you come to that bridge, get a pre-nup.
And finally, stop taking as gospel the negative, marriage- and women-bashing crap on these boards written by men who got cleaned out in a divorce because they, themselves, were too stupid to hire a good lawyer.
Next, don't even entertain thoughts of having to pay off her student loan. It's her loan. Besides, it's in her best interest to pay it off. It's one of the best ways to establish good credit for use later on, like buying a home.
Avienne, you don't make any practical sense. How is she going to pay it off if she cannot work? Having $50k of debt is no joke, EVEN if one makes a SIX figure income it will take several years to pay off. If one makes $40-50k like most people do this debt is for a DECADE considering interest.
For most people with ordinary income this is like LIFETIME enslavement to debt. I don't understand why people are so FOOLISH to take on such kind of debt without thinking about the consequences. It is even sadder that the government and our society encourages people to take this kind of ridiculous debt in the name of education knowing fully well that the jobs are NOT there to pay it off in any reasonable period of time.
Avienne, you don't make any practical sense. How is she going to pay it off if she cannot work? Having $50k of debt is no joke, EVEN if one makes a SIX figure income it will take several years to pay off. If one makes $40-50k like most people do this debt is for a DECADE considering interest.
For most people with ordinary income this is like LIFETIME enslavement to debt. I don't understand why people are so FOOLISH to take on such kind of debt without thinking about the consequences. It is even sadder that the government and our society encourages people to take this kind of ridiculous debt in the name of education knowing fully well that the jobs are NOT there to pay it off in any reasonable period of time.
i agree...$50,000 is a lot of debt...even it it is a student loan
Avienne, you don't make any practical sense. How is she going to pay it off if she cannot work? Having $50k of debt is no joke, EVEN if one makes a SIX figure income it will take several years to pay off. If one makes $40-50k like most people do this debt is for a DECADE considering interest.
For most people with ordinary income this is like LIFETIME enslavement to debt. I don't understand why people are so FOOLISH to take on such kind of debt without thinking about the consequences. It is even sadder that the government and our society encourages people to take this kind of ridiculous debt in the name of education knowing fully well that the jobs are NOT there to pay it off in any reasonable period of time.
Why won't she be able to work? If she's like most women who took out student loans, she's not quitting her job. You may have to carry those payments for a few months, at most -- and with federally-subsidized loans, there is a way to stop the payments for a few months if you have to without incurring additional penalties.
Education costs money -- a lot of money. At the same time, for people who didn't invest it in some Mickey Mouse degree, it opens a lot of doors. As Avienne said, you won't be able to find too many college graduates these days who don't have a substantial student loan debt. If that's a problem for you, you are well-advised to stick to women without a college education.
Also, student loans are personal debts for purposes of a divorce. Yes, while you are married, payments come out of your joint funds, but hey, very likely, you have more funds because she got that education. If you get divorced, what's left of her student debt isn't figured into the marital estate, and she is entirely responsible for it -- unless, of course, you want to treat her projected earnings as a "marital asset" and divvy up its present value.
Finally, if you see every college-educated woman as a potential schemer who is only going out with you in order to manipulate you into paying off her debt by, you know, marrying you, having sex with you, and having your brats -- man, you shouldn't get married. At all. In fact, I'd say you shouldn't even be dating.
When you marry her do it at the justice of the peace and use the wedding money to pay toward the debt. After your married, make her drive a used 2002 Toyota and the extra money goes toward debt. Hold off having kids till she pays off the debt. But, Once you have kids and she divorces you, make sure she takes any remaining debt with her.
If you're already planning for getting divorced after all this you will find that it was worth every penny you paid toward her debt to get her out of your life.
How would you feel if the man you were dating had a lot of student loan debt (say about $50k) and you know that you may be the one that will have to pay it off if you get married to him (the assumption being that a man may have to quit work to have and care for children if the spouse makes more money etc.).
I'm assuming this would put enormous strain on the relationship? Would it also make you feel really vulnerable knowing that if he left you, not only would he get half of everything you own but also would have his entire student debt paid off and you would be left with nothing but the clothes on your back.
There, fixed.
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