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I got out of a bad relationship a few months ago. ( We actually were through back in December but I tried to work it out as much as I could...and it backfired on me ). My marriage was full of drama, abuse ( mental, emotional and physical ). I was treated very poorly by my ex.
Now I am with someone new. We're taking it VERY slow. I've known him for almost 5 years and we didn't date back in the day because of our jobs kept us in separate continents. He was stationed in Korea and I was back in Arizona.
He is very respectful, caring...He spoils me a lot and we just get each other. I am extremely comfortable around him and so is he. We are friends first.
Thing is there is NO drama in this relationship. We have very good communication and I am not afraid to speak my mind.
Why does it feel weird not having any drama in BS? Why does it feel like there is something missing? I hated all the crap I went through with my ex but now I have this weird feeling sometimes that this is too good to be true and I should be expecting things to go downhill at any given moment - even though deep down I doubt they will.
Am I crazy? I think I might need therapy. I am with someone who treats me like I deserve for once and I am kind of weirded out. I wonder if it has anything to do with the abuse I went through.
In my opinion, a few months is not enough time to recover from an abusive relationship - and certainly too soon to move on to another person.
I would imagine you probably do need therapy after all that. You need to focus on you and learn to be ok without the turmoil that you were used to.
I didn't think so either but I am happy and I have actually been able to sleep at night now that he's 2100 miles away from me. I moved back to my home state, closer to friends and family...and I am doing good.
Am I crazy? I think I might need therapy. I am with someone who treats me like I deserve for once and I am kind of weirded out. I wonder if it has anything to do with the abuse I went through.
I think it's very astute for you to recognize this about yourself. A less self-aware person might sabotage the relationship.
Maybe you are just used to the "thrill" of the drama and you're mistaking that for passion?
I might be completely out of line because i don't have any experience with this. But I would suggest inserting some artificial excitement into your time together. Do something with him that gets your adrenaline pumping in a healthy, fun way. For instance, instead of going on a boring dinner-movie date, go with him on a roller coaster ride, or bunging jumping, or something that will get your heart beating fast.
You might just need to channel your need for excitement into a more positive direction and unlearn your past self-destructive patterns that you previously mistook for passion and love.
Again, I have to say that I'm out of league here and have no credentials for offering advice. Please take it with the good intentions it is being offered. Best of luck to you.
Perhaps you do need therapy? And I mean that seriously - you may need to work through issues about your ex/ being treated badly and learning how to enjoy/allow yourself to be treated appropriately.
Also, it may seem too good to be true, because nothing is perfect. If things were to progress with this guy, I'm willing to bet at some point there will be arguing. The true test of a relationship is dealing with adversity - because anyone can get through the easy days.
In new relationships everything is happy (or it should be) - and I always kind of wait to see how we as a couple can handle the arguing/disagreements.
I know you think you are ready to move on, but you need to give yourself time to get over your previous relationship. Even relationships that are not abusive take time to get over. When I have tried to rush into something new, it has not worked. Somtimes you just need time to find yourself again. Also, some people are actually addicted to the ups and downs in an abusive or tumultuous relationship. Just as there are many lows in such a relationship, there are also highs. That is another reason you might need to take some time and seeing a therapist wouldn't hurt. Good luck.
I've never been big into therapy, so I'm not going to suggest that. You asked "Am I crazy? I think I might need therapy. I am with someone who treats me like I deserve for once and I am kind of weirded out. I wonder if it has anything to do with the abuse I went through." What have you done to 'deserve' any special treatment? Probably nothing. What makes you think you deserve special treatment? You need to stop and realize that when a guy treats you well, that in it's self is normal. You don't need to have the drama to exist and enjoy life. If you do, then something is wrong with you. Just sit back, relax and enjoy having someone treat you well, don't make a big deal out of it. He is being kind to you because he wants a relationship to go somewhere. Let it go somewhere, don't screw it up.
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I'd be happy as a clam.
