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The problem with "players" is that many of them don't understand that most women are not in the game to "play." Now, some are. For example, a single mother friend of mine has made it clear that she doesn't want to seriously date until her daughter graduates from high school and leaves the home--and she means it.
Being "honest" means doing so from the start, and being brutally so. It means saying, "Look, just to get this straight, I'm not just seeing you, but a bunch of other women." And if you're sleeping with them, that means coming clean about that as well. Women need to know who and what they're dealing with. The "players" I've known soft-peddle their "player-ness" to get what they want and then do the old *****-and-backpeddle when one of the women they're seeing takes issue with it.
Play all you want. But make sure that the brutal details are all laid out from the start, so that the women involved can make an informed decision.
What are some of you talking about? It's like I read a different post. The poster said that he wants to keep his options open until he finds someone that he is compatible with and he is honest with the women upfront. He said nothing about wanting to bang as many chicks as possible.
Women do the same thing, yet they're not called players. I see nothing wrong with a woman or man meeting and dating different people until he or she finds the right person.
I am sorry but It is not really about having sex with as many women as possible! Last night, this girl I had been seeing was bitching and nagging for hours, about me going to the Fair to meet this friend, she almost ruined my night. I met my friend there, we hung out, talked, it was a great time, we did not do anything physical or sexual, yet, it was 10 times better than hearing a woman b itch for 2 hours.
If you're not going to be honest, then plan on hearing the b*tching and nagging. When you're honest from the start, its their decision to continue or not and on them.
Being "honest" means doing so from the start, and being brutally so. It means saying, "Look, just to get this straight, I'm not just seeing you, but a bunch of other women." And if you're sleeping with them, that means coming clean about that as well. Women need to know who and what they're dealing with. The "players" I've known soft-peddle their "player-ness" to get what they want and then do the old *****-and-backpeddle when one of the women they're seeing takes issue with it.
Play all you want. But make sure that the brutal details are all laid out from the start, so that the women involved can make an informed decision.
I am not saying what you said is wrong but why would you tell somebody on a first date all these things? My experience is that most women get turned off when you start talking about other women on a date and I wish it was just men who were not honest. I have dated quite a few women who said they were divorced but in fact, were only separated or still living with their husbands, women hide a lot of things ALSO, so I don't see the need to be brutally honest in the early stages of dating.
Are you over judging women as harlots because they sleep with you too early or are you still upset because you can't find a woman to have a relationship with or are you done with dating or are you just hanging out with women as friends or are you a player? I hope that you discover just what it is that you really want soon. By the way, a player is a guy who sleeps with multiple women and doesn't worry about whether it is bad or not. He would not care what we thought or worry about it in any way. I don't believe you are a player...and to me it is good that you're not. A player is a guy who only cares about himself. I believe you are a guy who would love to find the right woman...if you weren't you wouldn't keep posting these threads about women. I hope you find her someday, and you start a thread telling us how great your life is.
You're not a player if you are being honest. Being a player is bad b/c the definition of a player is someone that gets with as many women as possible to increase his street cred/ego by any means necessary, including lying, cheating, etc. Players tell women what they want to hear to sleep with them or just get whatever they want from them; they are never honest or upfront, even when they are done with the "relationship." Many just walk away and never even bother to let the woman know.
What you're doing is not "being a player." If you were a woman, you'd be a ****. However, I think that most people understand that there are people that date one person at a time and people who date several people at a time. As long as you are being honest--and not insisting that the women that you date remain monogomous while you "play the field"--then you are not being a player; you're dating and being honest about it, although I wouldn't expect every woman you meet to be cool with your plan (which is why most "players" lie and can actually be called "players").
Just be honest and respectful, have fun and be safe. And don't refer to yourself as a "player"--it's obnoxious and a big turnoff--or allow anyone else to label you as such. Otherwise, you just come across as a big sleaze.
I am not saying what you said is wrong but why would you tell somebody on a first date all these things? My experience is that most women get turned off when you start talking about other women on a date and I wish it was just men who were not honest. I have dated quite a few women who said they were divorced but in fact, wereonly separated or still living with their husbands, women hide a lot of things ALSO, so I don't see the need to be brutally honest in the early stages of dating.
Well I have to agree with whomever said you're not a player if you're being upfront and honest with the girls. That being said if a guy told me he wanted to casually date; he's pretty much guaranteeing that he'll find himself in my "friend" zone. Nothing personal but I don't casually date. Not saying that after two dinners, a movie and a walk in the park I'm expecting a marriage proposal but if we're dating it's because you want to get to know me. And I don't think you can get to know me in-between the time you spend with Jenny, Stephanie, Amanda and Renee.
I did not dump any of them because of that in particular but it said a lot about the character of the woman, I would say a huge RED FLAG I did not overlook and sure enough, I was not comfortable with the other lies that came after.
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