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My sister in law is a HUGE freeloader, even though she and her husband make very good money...when her parents go out of town, she will go to her parents house and take all of the food from the refrigerator...ALL OF IT!
A few years back my SIL and BIL wanted to sell their house but he would not let her look for a house until they sold theirs...well, their house sold and lo and behold my SIL just couldn't find another house that was suitable for her, so they moved in with her parents...my SIL, BIL, and their 3 children under the age of 6 moved in with her parents. Nice, huh? Lived there for about 20 months and only mowed the lawn 4-5 times....
I could go on and on...this is going to be a funny thread! Can't wait to read the stories!
Cheapness has made me cut off some people from my life. I'm notoriously cold about this and it doesn't bother me at all.
During my undergraduate years, I was friends with "Jae." His behavior is to this day the most egregious and low-class regarding stinginess I have ever seen.
Jae was from a working-class family, and he knew it - and so did others. However, many of us who went to college then weren't rich either. But Jae seemed almost to have a chip on his shoulder about his humble origins.
Jae was very clever and selfish, and he had a habit of not paying his full share when we went to dinner. Never mind that he was a cash-strapped undergraduate - none of us were from rich families. He always found a way to contribute less than his full share whether it was lunch, dinner, bowling... whatever. And people began to notice.
On the 2nd of the 3rd year that I was hanging out with Jae, we were roommates in a 3-bedroom suite. In the other bedroom were Benjamin (who is to this day my best friend) and Kubyx. Benjamin was the one who brought the most groceries from home. Kubyx ate plenty of Benjamin's food, but in Kubyx's defense, Kubyx was at least generous with what he brought. I also brought some.
Jae never brought anything, but always wanted to eat. The guy had this odd obsession - nay, LUST - for food.
It got to the point that Jae did this to us so often that Benjamin and I began to resent him and to distance ourselves away from him. We brought the issue up to Kubyx, but Kubyx was too laid back to care (and as an adult, Kubyx was too oblivious to what was an inexcusable lack of boundaries on Jae's part; in time, as adults, Benjamin and I grew closer while we eventually drifted apart from Kubyx).
Jae also was very selfish in other ways - he never helped either Benjamin or me when we had large loads of laundry and we asked him for him to help us with labor, but when he needed help, we freely helped him.
Then one day, I confronted Jae. I was sick of it and was fuming. Jae calmly listened, and to my shock, he said, "so you're saying I've been a very cheap and selfish person, right?"
I said, "Yes, Jae, that is exactly what I am saying."
To my even greater surprise, Jae freely and openly admitted that he was selfish and cheap - and he then said, "I have my pride, and I don't have to explain myself to anybody!"
Jae's true colors had come out at last. Here was a guy who had since our first year as friends harped about what the meaning of friendship was, about trust, about sharing our lives together, about having long friendships beyond graduation. The man was a sneaky, selfish, and cheap bastard, who loved to take but refused to give. He freely ate of Kubyx's and Benjamin's food (and of my own too) but never provided any.
However, Jae remained arrogant and proud as the conversation went on. He thought that I was overreacting, and that this was just food, nothing to care about, and he then turned the argument around to make me look like the bad guy, that I was being too strict with sharing food (um - did the guy consider the fact that groceries cost money and that as none of us was rich, and as none of us worked, that we depended on our parents to supply us with stuff?).
I also pointed out to him that since our 2nd year, he had repeatedly failed to pay his full share when we went out with others, and that he expected others to cover for him; I also told him it was strange he would often "whine" about having to spend money when we went out. He got mad that I brought this up because he had earlier confessed to me that he realized his earlier behavior had been bad, and he felt guilty about it, so he was upset I brought it up. I said, "right, but you've been cheap in other ways that do not necessarily concern money."
Jae's pride and ego were so big, and so hurt, that he bluntly asked, "do you think I'm such a poor person who can't afford these things?" Because I knew his family, because I didn't want to offend him, and because Jae's cousin "Joe" was until then one my closest friends (Joe studied elsewhere), I said, "no." But I later realized I should have said "yes." Jae lived in a working-class neighborhood; I lived in an upper-middle class neighborhood in the greater NY area. Frankly speaking, I can look back and realize there were moments I sensed class envy from Jae. Benjamin and Kubyx were from less than wealthy areas, but they didn't have this problem. Jae alone did.
I left the bedroom, still in anger, and found Benjamin in the downstairs study lounge, and told him I had finally confronted Jae. Benjamin and I privately discussed what to do next, as it was nearly summer - Jae had signed up to live in another 3-bedroom suite, but in a newly renovated dormitory, and he had asked us to room with him as it was our senior year and as he wanted us to have a final year together. (I think that Jae had sensed throughout our junior year that Benjamin and I were getting upset at him, and he apparently wanted to salvage the situation - whether or not Jae ever expected either Benjamin or me to confront him about his cheapness, I'll never know.).
A few hours passed, and I cooled down. I returned to my bedroom, where Jae was asleep. I myself was going to bed - when I saw an envelope on my desk. I opened it, and saw a note that said, "Sprawling, first of all I apologize. I didn't know this had upset you so much. So here is $50. If it was $3 here, $6 there... just take it! And... I don't want to lose a good friend like you."
I was stunned. The man had put up a prideful and angry front only to apologize in writing and to give me money as compensation for nearly 2 years of cheapness? Where had this humility been when I confronted him (not in anger; I was direct, but no profanities were uttered and I did not raise my voice)? Where was his conviction in the loyalty that true friendship must have, which he always harped on? When I confront him, he said he had his pride and his pride would not let him explain himself - and now this?
We did not raise the issue again. I quietly went about my business and the semester ended. Jae tried to make up for his bad behavior, but the damage was done. Jae left me a note right before we moved out of our dorms for the summer saying "let's meet in the summer and keep our friendship forever!"
But it would not be. Jae had crossed a line and I didn't have it in me to be close to him. Benjamin and I chose to room in a large bedroom on the other side of campus from the dormitory where Jae and 5 other guys lived together starting in the next fall semester. The next time I saw Jae, he was cold; there was an awkwardness in the air, as he knew now that I no longer wanted his friendship. We met on occasion as we belonged to a common student club, but other than that, the friendship was over. We graduated, went our ways, and that was it.
Jae's cousin Joe, incidentally, learned about this from me at that time. Joe had told me, "Sprawling, I've known Jae all my life, and he's always been that cheap, he and his father (Jae's father is the younger brother of Joe's father. I slept over Joe's house many times in my high school years, and his family was always generous - I have no idea where Jae picked up those habits). When you told me that you were now close to Jae, I was surprised, but now that you tell me this, I knew it was coming."
In the mid-2000s, Joe and I spoke once about Jae. (Joe and I have drifted apart, but remain on cordial terms). I went to Joe's wedding, but not to Jae's (even though Jae called me asking me to come. I refused to go because I do not consider him a friend).
Joe told me he had asked Jae, "Jae, what happened between you and Sprawling? You guys were close at one point in college - why is it that you two have no friendship now?"
Jae said, "it has to do with something that happened in college. But I've forgiven myself and move on."
Moral of the story (which was long, yes): be cheap and abuse your friends' generosity and patience at your own peril, and don't be surprised if they later turn away from you. I have never had qualms about cutting off friendships, and neither will I ever. Better to have 1 or 2 true friends than 10 or 20 backstabbers. Benjamin was always loyal, fair, and honest - soon I will be the best man at his wedding, and I will give him a four-digit cash gift.
He wont say no to them & charge rent or anything to family & if we say anything to him about them he gets all defensive. Hes leaving on a short trip next weekend & they asked if they could hang at his place. He said ok. Their are basically 5 of them (2 adults/3 kids) but next weekend the freeloading # will go to 7 people total.
Another friend of mine shares the house with him & shes going nuts with these losers. Its never ending now & his niece & obese teen kid may ask to move in. He has a 3 bedroom house. They start their day @ 7am (the freeloaders) & go to bed around midnight or so. The ac is on all day & his electric bill is quite high but he pays it & dont ask them for any money even though they get more then i thought.
The nieces teen son has a disability & gets around 1600.00 month plus she gets alot of foodstamps. The sister of this guy has 3 kids & gets the whole kit & kaboodle. Its unbelievable. They can work but wont. Lets not forget the high water bill plus they (niece & sis) smoke alot. His brother wants to move in now as well as his baby sister.
This is one family im glad i have nothing to do with cause they would be a knocking on my door & i would turn the water hose on them. Freeloaders are pathetic people. Last month the obese kid was riding my friends sons scooter (his son moved out yrs ago & married) & he fell down & broke it. The scooter was never replaced. I would NEVER loan out anything to anyone....PERIOD!
I think your friend enjoys the company, and doesn't have a problem with them at all. Some people are just generous and if that's the case, there shouldn't be a problem on either side.
Location: Pittsburgh--Home of the 6 time Super Bowl Champions!
11,310 posts, read 12,370,035 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steel7
He wont say no to them & charge rent or anything to family & if we say anything to him about them he gets all defensive. Hes leaving on a short trip next weekend & they asked if they could hang at his place. He said ok. Their are basically 5 of them (2 adults/3 kids) but next weekend the freeloading # will go to 7 people total.
Another friend of mine shares the house with him & shes going nuts with these losers.
He deserves what he gets then! The other friend of yours should find a new room mate.
Last S.O.'s "friend" (not a good one, thank god) was the worst of the freeloaders. Only he did it in a really bad, bad way ... he was single, evading child support from another state. Hadn't worked for years. He'd troll the Internet for women, find them, move in with them, and then mooch. The last woman he moved in with (so he wouldn't have to work) throught he was going to marry her. He hung around for a good year-and-a-half before he moved onto a better "deal." I could see it coming a mile away.
Often, the women he was scamming would find out about each other. They bought him plane tickets, cell phones, clothes, meals, etc. He was still young and sort of attractive, I guess. Vibrant personality, but I could tell that it was all phony. I "lent" him many a $20 just to get him out of my hair.
I just feel bad for all of those women who got scammed/played. It's one thing to sleep around, but quite another to do it AND take advantage of them financially, when they didn't know what was going on. He was pretty good at perpetuating an illusion of monogamy.
If you live in Las Vegas, sooner or later, everyone you know will want to 'visit'. People who live in Orlando or Kissimmee probably understand.
My uncle lived in Vegas for most of his life. I 'visited' occasionally but usually stayed in a hotel and we would get together as his schedule allowed. Once in a while, we would stay at his house. One of the reasons I always wanted to live in Vegas was to get to know him better but sadly, he died before I could retire.
Anyway, back to the story...... Another of my uncles thought nothing of coming to Vegas and just about moving in. He and his wife would spend their lazy days garage saleing and proceed to fill my uncle's home with the worst kind of junk. They ate, used the AC, and paid nothing. They would drive his car and never buy gas. The last straw for my uncle was when they started receiving mail at his home. He finally grew a pair and told them it was time for them to go home.
They left but came back again the next year! They never really GOT the message.
The freeloaders are returning this friday. They will be going to the beach & then staying at this guys house free of charge. They left yesterday to go to the other house they freeload at the most. They have no self pride & expect everything to be handed to them & it usually is. They just know how to manipulate this guy & he falls for it lock, stock & barrel. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/freeloader
Went to a restaurant with 3 girls and another guy. Food was good, conversation was interesting, etc. When it was time to pay, all of a sudden, the 3 girls felt an urge to go to the ladies room or something. No problem, we were not in a rush so I waited for them to come back to do the math while my friend and I were relaxing. They came back to the table probably thinking that everything was already paid telling us "Ok, let's go " but I told them nicely "Sure, umh, you guys want to order anything else, maybe a dessert or coffee?" they said they were fine and ready to go so I took out my part, my friend took out his part, and then gave it to them so they could also do their math and put their part. They were not expecting it.
Went to a restaurant with 3 girls and another guy. Food was good, conversation was interesting, etc. When it was time to pay, all of a sudden, the 3 girls felt an urge to go to the ladies room or something. No problem, we were not in a rush so I waited for them to come back to do the math while my friend and I were relaxing. They came back to the table probably thinking that everything was already paid telling us "Ok, let's go " but I told them nicely "Sure, umh, you guys want to order anything else, maybe a dessert or coffee?" they said they were fine and ready to go so I took out my part, my friend took out his part, and then gave it to them so they could also do their math and put their part. They were not expecting it.
LOL.
I absolutely abhor freeloaders. Be like these 3 girls,and you will not be my friend.
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" but I told them nicely "Sure, umh, you guys want to order anything else, maybe a dessert or coffee?" they said they were fine and ready to go so I took out my part, my friend took out his part, and then gave it to them so they could also do their math and put their part. They were not expecting it
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