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We were discussing Julia Child & Martha Stewart and the joys of cooking. There is nothing dirty about Martha... well maybe her prison roommate might disagree.
I have shared before that I would have missed out on a lifelong relationship if I bolted the first time I discovered that he did not know what the laundry basket was. I am 100% behind a woman having a career or achieving goals but that cannot override your commitment to your husband or children. Marriage is about love and love fosters love.
As long your dh was capable of learning where the laundry basket was, it shouldn't have been a problem and it wasn't. My dh wasn't a big cleaner when we first got together, but he adapted easily as well.
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Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch
These may well be the tenets YOU hold true, and that's admirable. The question is, what's practiced at large out there? Just as it's silly to call a Christian an automatic Bible-thumper, there's still a very, very good reason at the mention of Christianity people become wary and eyes tend to roll -- just as at the mention of Feminism, men squint slightly as though preparing for a physical blow.
I imagine it's so individualized that it would be hard to figure anything at large. Redisca posted this interesting article a few pages back. Some studies show it works really well for a host of folk. Then, there are other studies that report differently. Eh, not surprising.
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Originally Posted by Mt-7
No, i just do not make a big deal out of doing for others.
You sort of do. You've been making it a big deal through out this thread, which is fine to be clear. It's good that you do for others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mt-7
But that is the core of this conversation.
Does it have to be reciprocal?
Can you not have a feeling of self worth anyway. I think we are in charge of our own emotions.
Hmm, I'm not sure if it's a matter of self-worth, but maybe. And if you think about it, you probably service your husband for the reciprocation. You get some kind of pay off for your services, don't you? I imagine we all do, otherwise, as others have said, we wouldn't do it.
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Originally Posted by noela
Didn't you say that a man isn't motivated to give if he feels that it won't be reciprocated? The same applies to (many, most) women.
Good point.
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Originally Posted by Mt-7
I might have, it is a long thread
You did.
Quote:
I guess we can expand it to mean do men and women have to have all things reciprocated in order to continue in the marriage.
I had to think on this one. I don't think it's about all things, but rather big things. When I consider what I do for my husband, and then imagine what it would be like if he didn't appreciate it, readily participate in our marriage/plans/etc, and do whatever he has to, to make life easier for me, then no, I don't think that could work for me. It's a preposterous thought and difficult to fathom. I highly value what I do for him, so maybe that's at the crux of the conversation - how much we value what we do. If it's no big thing, then reciprocation doesn't matter.
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Originally Posted by max's mama
So check this out guys. Yesterday I was serving my husband dinner and had an orgasm. Sometime between the salad and an entree, I had an overwhelming feeling all over my body and I had an orgasm. I had to hold on to the kitchen counter not to collapse. It was unbelievable. You should try it sometimes.
I think it's a sneaky way of hers to try and turn the rest of us women on here into Susie Homemakers and get us to at least turn on our EZ Bake Ovens ...
I think it's a sneaky way of hers to try and turn the rest of us women on here into Susie Homemakers and get us to at least turn on our EZ Bake Ovens ...
Yes, I'm a sneaky sneak. Watch out for me. By the time you are all done with this thread, you will all quit your jobs and turn into housewifes. Meantime, if someone taught ME how to be a Susie Homemaker.
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Hawk! You are a naughty naughty man!!!
I am 100% behind a woman having a career or achieving goals but that cannot override your commitment to your husband or children. Marriage is about love and love fosters love.
