Soulmate or Lover...Sex or making Love Inlove...Infatuation or True Love? (wife, married)
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My question lies for everyone: have you ever been inlove so much that you believe you have found the "one"; that special somebody to grow old with? Or have you fallen in love with someone who turned out to be your enemy or an illusion towards the end (like divorce)? Have you ever found that uniquely remarkable heavenly connection with somebody who turns out to be your "soulmate"? Have you ever believed you were inlove yet were indeed just addicted to the need to be loved (like infatuation)? Or have you encountered what it would be like to find your lover/your match in all aspects of life (from sex to being friends)?
The bigger question may be above all these concepts.....whoever you fell or are falling for....does one need to be inlove to make love or can one simply just have sex in a beautiful companionship way? Sooo many interesting encounters and for what....does everlasting love even exist (happily married ever after or at least with a princess disney ending)? If not, then why do all of us even bother with love? If love is this fantasy world then how does love fit exactly in our world of reality: because if love functions in everyday situations then eventually that sparks can die and people may stop loving each other? I actually believe love lives forever in a world of so much distrust but the question lies in not me but if the love will live forever for the other person (cuz usually in a relationship there's always one who stops loving so much but I know there are rare couples out there that both strive to keep true love burning). Well...your welcome to open pandoras box of love and deceptions if you wil...........................
My question lies for everyone: have you ever been inlove so much that you believe you have found the "one"; that special somebody to grow old with? Or have you fallen in love with someone who turned out to be your enemy or an illusion towards the end (like divorce)? Have you ever found that uniquely remarkable heavenly connection with somebody who turns out to be your "soulmate"? Have you ever believed you were inlove yet were indeed just addicted to the need to be loved (like infatuation)? Or have you encountered what it would be like to find your lover/your match in all aspects of life (from sex to being friends)?
The bigger question may be above all these concepts.....whoever you fell or are falling for....does one need to be inlove to make love or can one simply just have sex in a beautiful companionship way? Sooo many interesting encounters and for what....does everlasting love even exist (happily married ever after or at least with a princess disney ending)? If not, then why do all of us even bother with love? If love is this fantasy world then how does love fit exactly in our world of reality: because if love functions in everyday situations then eventually that sparks can die and people may stop loving each other? I actually believe love lives forever in a world of so much distrust but the question lies in not me but if the love will live forever for the other person (cuz usually in a relationship there's always one who stops loving so much but I know there are rare couples out there that both strive to keep true love burning). Well...your welcome to open pandoras box of love and deceptions if you wil...........................
I am too busy trying to comprehend what just came out of your pandora's box to even think about opening mine, lol!
OP, I think that love when it is real, does not die if the flames are properly tended to. However, there are many feelings that everyone can confuse with actual love. For example, I have loved and also thought to be loved. But then I have realized my mistake and seen the truth. Many times, a person will think that there is actual love in a relationship. But thinking it, and knowing it, are 2 different things. A man can tell me that he loves me till he is blue in the face. He can behave as if he loves me. He can plan a future with me. He can write wonderful poetry for me and sing me beautiful songs. He can be sensitive and caring in a very real way. But if he is selfish , there is no real love. Selfishness has no place in true love. Not even a little. Sure he might be generous and buy you things. But the selfishness I am talking about is deeper. He wants to control the relationship. He wants to control you. Love is not that way. Love is unselfish and humble. A person does not have to tell you that they love you, in order for you to know it from the very depth of your soul. The way you know it, is to pay attention to his actions, and don't listen to his words. He might indeed believe that he loves you, but he might be lieing to himself. Don't be a fool and believe him too. When love is real, there is no competition to see who will win. There are no words that assure you that he will take care of you. You just know you found the one who won't let you down. Though he won't say it.
My question lies for everyone: have you ever been inlove so much that you believe you have found the "one"; that special somebody to grow old with? Yes.
Or have you fallen in love with someone who turned out to be your enemy or an illusion towards the end (like divorce)? Yes - my ex!
Have you ever found that uniquely remarkable heavenly connection with somebody who turns out to be your "soulmate"? Yes, my wife now. Not that I believe in a soulmate, as there can be many people who are extremely compatible in every way (it's comes down to finding one).
Have you ever believed you were inlove yet were indeed just addicted to the need to be loved (like infatuation)? Yes, but probably not since my teens.
Or have you encountered what it would be like to find your lover/your match in all aspects of life (from sex to being friends)? Yes, that's what I have right now.
The bigger question may be above all these concepts.....whoever you fell or are falling for....does one need to be inlove to make love No, making love simply requires loving someone (perhaps even just in the moment) - it is not necessary to be "in love" with them.
or can one simply just have sex in a beautiful companionship way? Indeed! And it can be truly wonderful and beautiful.
Sooo many interesting encounters and for what....does everlasting love even exist (happily married ever after or at least with a princess disney ending)? It's very rare, but it does exist. Don't ever expect it or take it for granted if you've found it. Mostly, it's a fantasy based on an idealized, and seldom attainable ideal.
If not, then why do all of us even bother with love? We're biologically programmed for it, so most of us don't even want to choose to avoid it, and besides, it feels so good it's usually addictive!
If love is this fantasy world then how does love fit exactly in our world of reality: because if love functions in everyday situations then eventually that sparks can die and people may stop loving each other? You want guarantees? You won't get them. Love does function in everyday situations - look carefully and you'll see it everywhere, but you'll also see its lack everywhere. Love, like life, is impermanent, but that's not going to stop me from enjoying both!
I actually believe love lives forever in a world of so much distrust but the question lies in not me but if the love will live forever for the other person (cuz usually in a relationship there's always one who stops loving so much but I know there are rare couples out there that both strive to keep true love burning). I'm not sure I understand what you're saying here, but I do agree there are couples who do work to keep love alive. I'm in a good place to know about that!
Well...your welcome to open pandoras box of love and deceptions if you wil
I am too busy trying to comprehend what just came out of your pandora's box to even think about opening mine, lol!
LOL, give it a try!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
I couldn't read it, but I'm pretty sure my answer is "yes" to all of the above?
wut
To the OP:
Personally, I think of love as that quality that sustains relationships in the midst of struggles, disagreements, life changing events [like unemployment, drastic changes in body image, illness, parenting, etc.] When you can pull together with somebody through any of these things, then in my book you have found the meaning of true love.
Everything else, meaning, the lust, attraction, and desire to have sex with somebody are somewhat connected to biological processes that may or may not have anything to do with the process of loving somebody [as I described above]
Going to bed with somebody and having the most thrilling experience of your life= that's easy.
Showing tenderness, compassion and appreciation to somebody in the midst of struggles and in spite of her/his weaknesses= that's love and not always easy.
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