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There is nothing wrong with dating around, sleeping around, whatever you choose to do, as long as you are honest with everyone involved. Don't over-think it or worry to much about it. Set yourself free and it will be fun.
Perhaps you are more goal oriented than process oriented. Dating can be fun, if you look at it as meeting interesting people - even the disasters make for good stories to tell your friends! It's certainly not necessary to jump into bed with anyone quickly, either - though your guilt may be in part due to the necessity to say no. That is a trait you may have to work on because you should not feel guilty for following your values.
As for turning someone down who doesn't really know you, you can just say, "I'm dating someone" and leave it at that. If it's someone who knows you, you can tell them that you'll get back to them if and when you feel ready to give it a try. If it's a matter of finding more compatible men to meet and date, perhaps you should do the searching online and make contact with those who interest you, and then ask enough about them before deciding to meet to see if they may actually share enough of your values, goals, and interests to be worth your time.
get to know people a bit better before dating them then. most of those pressures go away if you are friends with someone for a little bit, get to know them then start dating.
thats where ive had most success. when i was just chain dating random girls i met at bars or online it wasnt much fun once the novalty of dating 3-4 girls at a time wore off
Did I miss something? What do you owe these guys other than common courtesy and respect? You went out once. You just met. There's no relationship; you owe no debt of loyalty or duty to these guys. WHY are you making yourself feel guilty when you owe him nothing more than common courtesy?
So who are you carrying all those guilt-bricks for? Because you're the only one expecting you to carry them. Why not just put the bricks down?
You're not responsible for their feelings. It's not your job to make them happy. You owe them respect, nothing more. "No thanks" is a complete answer; it doesn't require justification or explanation.
I guess maybe I was guit tripped so much in the past from jealouse boyfriends, and that last guy I was seeing for a few months was so jealouse, that now it is almost like I am afraid to be myself or something?
There is nothing wrong with dating around, sleeping around, whatever you choose to do, as long as you are honest with everyone involved. Don't over-think it or worry to much about it. Set yourself free and it will be fun.
Yeah. That is the attitude I need to adopt. Me be tryin!
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Did I miss something? What do you owe these guys other than common courtesy and respect? You went out once. You just met. There's no relationship; you owe no debt of loyalty or duty to these guys. WHY are you making yourself feel guilty when you owe him nothing more than common courtesy? 
That is the attitude I need to adopt. 
