Are alpha men a dying breed? (girl, loving, attracted, kiss)
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I'm thinking of my step-father. He walks around like a pea-**** in full feathered bloom. The typical alpha male persona. In reality, he doesn't have a pot to **** in. He's not educated. He never had a career. And he's lucky that my mother has always had her financial crap together. None of that makes any difference to him. He struts and people do react to that. It doesn't make him a leader, tho. It doesn't make him particularly strong. And like most that are of that personality, he opted for the big fish in a small pond scene. It's very illusory from where I sit.
i had to look that word up, but i definitely agree with you, his situation sounds very "illusory," he maintains his posturing because there's not enough of a crowd there to cast him as a non-leader (follower or misfit.)
i think when you're young (in school), that's when this dynamic is very clear, and is easy to generalize. Male social groups almost always have an "alpha", complete with male followers, and females instinctively respond to whomever that leader is. That's why I say, not being a leader does have consequences, mainly for young single men. I can't say it matters too much in the nursing home.
Again, my step-father's example fits here. It really makes no difference to him what society thinks. Just as it would make no difference to you if you typed out your resume and life achievements and I let you know that you're a not a leader.
Nobody should care what society thinks. But leadership skills are more than academia or the workplace. look at friendship groups, there are some leaders and followers. it's how human society works.
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According to whom, what? If a person doesn't have that ability, suffering (and failure) probably results. No?
Confidence by definition is self-worth, and subsequently the ability to be assured and take failure on the chin.
It's because confidence is not taught again. PC society and pop culture have ruined it in most men.
And most men in the end have false/superficial confidence, due to the PC society.
Confidence isn't taught. It's something you find within yourself based on any number of things you like about yourself (looks, intelligence, athletic skill, etc.). And if it's genuine confidence, it withstands whatever messages society and pop culture send.
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Originally Posted by le roi
i'll do that, while you and DennyCrane brush up on your reading comp. I took y'all off ignore because I thought you could have an honest discussion like big boys and girls, instead of this tactic where you misrepresent what the other person says, each time.
Frankly I can't even imagine how you came up with all this specific crap based on the vague sentence or two that I stated.
The problem isn't with our reading comprehension skills. The problem is your statements which, when someone calls you out on, you retreat from and/or try to change the meaning of. If you were truly interested in having an honest discussion like you claim, you wouldn't need to put your critics on ignore.
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Originally Posted by le roi
my experience is that as a man, the opposite sex sizes you up by how other people (third parties) react to you, whether you're a leader, follower, or on doing your own thing on the sidelines. all other factors equal, the ability to command the will of others seems to be something that women find very sexy in a man, and if he's a happy, good man "on the inside," that is just icing on the cake.
Then your experience hasn't served you well. Maybe in high school, people size you up based on what third parties think of you. But in the real world, people can evaluate people on their own merits without having to take into account what a bunch of other people (whose opinion may or may not matter to me) think. Women aren't looking for men who have the ability to command the will of others. They're looking for a man who's his own man, even if that means a follower or living on the sidelines.
Confidence isn't taught. It's something you find within yourself based on any number of things you like about yourself (looks, intelligence, athletic skill, etc.). And if it's genuine confidence, it withstands whatever messages society and pop culture send.
Confidence is taught. You even suggest it is. Confidence comes from self-acceptance, and any mental/emotional trait can be improved upon.
It's not self-perception, but a fact of human society and existence.
According to whom? Confidence is the ability to overcome things and be strong.
Be careful with confidence. It can often blind you to reality. Being confidant without stopping to ask yourself 'what if I am wrong?' continually is simply arrogance.
Also, another trait of a true leader (which is essentially the definition of an 'alpha man') is the ability to put pride aside for the good of the group.
Answer this: would you let someone else take the credit (for something you did) if you knew that was the only way for the goal of a group to be accomplished?
If you answer yes then you are a true 'alpha', if not you are simply arrogant.
i had to look that word up, but i definitely agree with you, his situation sounds very "illusory," he maintains his posturing because there's not enough of a crowd there to cast him as a non-leader (follower or misfit.)
I see similar on the net, which is why it tends to read silly to me.
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i think when you're young (in school), that's when this dynamic is very clear, and is easy to generalize. Male social groups almost always have an "alpha", complete with male followers, and females instinctively respond to whomever that leader is. That's why I say, not being a leader does have consequences, mainly for young single men. I can't say it matters too much in the nursing home.
I agree when it comes to school settings, especially in grade and high school. From what I've noticed, as I've gotten older, it's a dimmed mentality. Folk I know are just too busy living their lives to worry about posturing. But, I suppose to young folk trying to find mates it's more of an issue. So, I guess it's a matter of perspective and current position in life.
Nobody should care what society thinks. But leadership skills are more than academia or the workplace. look at friendship groups, there are some leaders and followers. it's how human society works.
Well, says you. Not everyone would agree with you, and that's my point really. As far as friendship groups go, eh, I don't really notice it. But, I'm in my 30s and that might be playing a role.
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Confidence by definition is self-worth, and subsequently the ability to be assured and take failure on the chin.
That makes sense to me. I fail to see the gender distinction, tho.
Well, says you. Not everyone would agree with you, and that's my point really. As far as friendship groups go, eh, I don't really notice it. But, I'm in my 30s and that might be playing a role.
That makes sense to me. I fail to see the gender distinction, tho.
I don't think merely holding a tertiary qualification means much, apart from earning more money (another shallow point, is there was one) and holding higher organisational positions. Most educated people I know don't use their intelligence for daily living, so clearly how "intelligent" are these people really. An educated person only leads in these spheres at best.
And regarding confidence, I reckon that men in general should lead and be bold. Again, there is nothing wrong in gender behavioural differences, despite what society says.
I don't think merely holding a tertiary qualification means much, apart from earning more money (another shallow point, is there was one) and holding higher organisational positions. Most educated people I know don't use their intelligence for daily living, so clearly how "intelligent" are these people really. An educated person only leads in these spheres at best.
Whatever the qualifiers are isn't relevant. The distinction is that not everyone is going to agree. You will still feel that you are alpha regardless of my opinion or the opinions of academics. They have their own criteria. Everybody has their own criteria. And since this is the case, and nobody can draw the proverbial line in the sand as to what actually constitutes a leader, outside the POTUS I suppose (for the US), then it all seems pretty subjective to me.
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And regarding confidence, I reckon that men in general should lead and be bold. Again, there is nothing wrong in gender behavioural differences, despite what society says.
Well, you're not addressing anything in particular here. Lead what and how is the boldness expressed? Again, those answers are going to vary depending on who you ask. Again, I'm not seeing the gender distinctions.
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