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What if it is very specifically not a date, two people are just meeting up over dinner or something? Does it really matter who pays?
I mean, consider the situation where you're meeting someone who isn't of the gender you're attracted to. (I know, that's a long way of saying it, right?)
I met an old friend of mine for lunch when I was visiting Chicago. I'm male, he's male--it is definitely NOT a date, you know? He offered to pick up the check, and I let him. The previous day, I met a new friend for dinner--and I let HER pick up the check too. Both times, it was NOT a date. Am I likely obligated to visit with them again in the future and pick up the check the next time? Should I have struggled harder over who pays the check?
I honestly don't know how these social things are supposed to work. I do understand that if it was an actual date, then I should have paid.
What if it is very specifically not a date, two people are just meeting up over dinner or something? Does it really matter who pays?
I mean, consider the situation where you're meeting someone who isn't of the gender you're attracted to. (I know, that's a long way of saying it, right?)
I met an old friend of mine for lunch when I was visiting Chicago. I'm male, he's male--it is definitely NOT a date, you know? He offered to pick up the check, and I let him. The previous day, I met a new friend for dinner--and I let HER pick up the check too. Both times, it was NOT a date. Am I likely obligated to visit with them again in the future and pick up the check the next time? Should I have struggled harder over who pays the check?
I honestly don't know how these social things are supposed to work. I do understand that if it was an actual date, then I should have paid.
Don't stress over it - just remember to reciprocate the next time you are with the two friends that treated you this time
What if it is very specifically not a date, two people are just meeting up over dinner or something? Does it really matter who pays?
I mean, consider the situation where you're meeting someone who isn't of the gender you're attracted to. (I know, that's a long way of saying it, right?)
I met an old friend of mine for lunch when I was visiting Chicago. I'm male, he's male--it is definitely NOT a date, you know? He offered to pick up the check, and I let him. The previous day, I met a new friend for dinner--and I let HER pick up the check too. Both times, it was NOT a date. Am I likely obligated to visit with them again in the future and pick up the check the next time? Should I have struggled harder over who pays the check?
I honestly don't know how these social things are supposed to work. I do understand that if it was an actual date, then I should have paid.
It's a fair question especially if you're not well versed on this kind of subject. If someone offers to get the check, yes you should put up a little fight, ask if they are sure, say "well, at least let me pay for my half" kind of thing. If they insist a second time, let it go.
For me yes, if someone insists on picking up the tab, then next time I feel it's my duty to get it.
You technically (in my opinion) owe two people lunch LOL Next time you guys get together, at least make the effort. Just grab the check and say "I've got this" and then if no argument, same thing - you pay.
Taking turns in picking up the tab seems to me the most appropriate thing to do most times, even on a date... But since some people would rather keep it traditional (which is nice), doesn't the man usually pay even if it's not a date? (Just wondering)
What if it is very specifically not a date, two people are just meeting up over dinner or something? Does it really matter who pays?
I mean, consider the situation where you're meeting someone who isn't of the gender you're attracted to. (I know, that's a long way of saying it, right?)
I met an old friend of mine for lunch when I was visiting Chicago. I'm male, he's male--it is definitely NOT a date, you know? He offered to pick up the check, and I let him. The previous day, I met a new friend for dinner--and I let HER pick up the check too. Both times, it was NOT a date. Am I likely obligated to visit with them again in the future and pick up the check the next time? Should I have struggled harder over who pays the check?
I honestly don't know how these social things are supposed to work. I do understand that if it was an actual date, then I should have paid.
While I wouldn't say you're obligated to hunt them down and invite them to dinner, I'd say that if you should go out to eat with them again, you pay the whole thing, and say "You got the last time, it's my turn". Otherwise you risk being thought either a clod or a mooch.
Taking turns in picking up the tab seems to me the most appropriate thing to do most times, even on a date... But since some people would rather keep it traditional (which is nice), doesn't the man usually pay even if it's not a date? (Just wondering)
No. If it's not a date that a man has specifically asked to take you on, don't expect him to pay for your lunch any more than you would expect a female friend to pay for your lunch.
Proper protocol is that whoever asks the person out on the date pays. Usually, this is the man, if he's meeting with someone with whom he may be attracted to. It's considered poor form to ask someone out to dinner and then expect them to pick up the tab or split the ticket, unless it's agreed on.
I learned the hard way with the guys on Match who invited me to expensive restaurants I'd normally not go to only to find myself paying for a $40 meal. To me, this shows a lack of regard for the person and their financial situation.
Proper protocol is that whoever asks the person out on the date pays. Usually, this is the man, if he's meeting with someone with whom he may be attracted to. It's considered poor form to ask someone out to dinner and then expect them to pick up the tab or split the ticket, unless it's agreed on.
I learned the hard way with the guys on Match who invited me to expensive restaurants I'd normally not go to only to find myself paying for a $40 meal. To me, this shows a lack of regard for the person and their financial situation.
But the OP said specifically that it wasn't a date. Protocol would be different, then, no?
Well...I was visiting from out of state--so maybe that's the reason they offered to pick up the check.
I'm not really a traveler by nature--but since there were people I wanted to see that I didn't get to, and things and places I wanted to see that I didn't get to (time constraints), it is likely that I'll make an annual trip from here on out. Tried to visit people in two states in the same week--I think from now on, I'll alternate states.
So perhaps I'll be able to get together with these same people again, since they made an effort to be available for me to see them, and I can't say that for all the people that said they would like to do so, but didn't make any real effort to set anything up.
Well...I was visiting from out of state--so maybe that's the reason they offered to pick up the check.
I'm not really a traveler by nature--but since there were people I wanted to see that I didn't get to, and things and places I wanted to see that I didn't get to (time constraints), it is likely that I'll make an annual trip from here on out. Tried to visit people in two states in the same week--I think from now on, I'll alternate states.
So perhaps I'll be able to get together with these same people again, since they made an effort to be available for me to see them, and I can't say that for all the people that said they would like to do so, but didn't make any real effort to set anything up.
I'm sure that since you were visiting, they made a nice gesture by picking up lunch. So, hey, if they visit you - you show them a good time and take them to lunch. Right?
We need to get you out more often LOL i think your recent travel experiences have been good but I think you need more.
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