Former gal I dated coming back to my company...sucks!!! (dating, how to)
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So about 6 weeks ago I wrote on here about a gal I was seeing for two months who was heading out of town (as was I) and I wasn't sure where we stood. I really liked her and was stressing out big time about her because I thought I was falling for her and she might be the "one" but she was acting distant. We had met at work when she was on a temp contract and we did work closely together for about 6 months, although we did not start dating until she moved onto another job.
Anyways, after being away from her I realized my world didn't revolve around her. On my trip I also realized how many beautiful women are around that might want to date me and it made no sense to be hung up on one person who didn't seem like she wanted to commit. So, I was doing great and not worrying about her at all, and I even started going out with other women when I got back. I feel like I'm getting over her just fine.
So, she came back last weekend and we talked. The conversation was pretty casual like two friends talking, but when she called it was like all of the anxiousness, nervousness, and anxiety came rushing back. I was kind of a wreck for a while after hanging up. We made plans to go out but I am probably going to cancel as she didn't seem that thrilled about it and I think I'd rather hang out with my friends, plus I am almost 100% sure she is either seeing other guys or is interested in seeing other guys so I just want to move on.
Anyways she just texted me this morning and said she interviewed yesterday to get her old job back, but this would be a permanent position. This means we'd be working closely with each other once again should she get it. Like 8 hours a day in the same room. I think if I never saw her again I would be just fine, but I feel like if I do see her all of the emotions are going to come back and it's going to be difficult for me to focus on work. I didn't tell anyone at work we were dating except for my best friend who would never say anything to anyone else so no one knows about us. I could possibly transfer, but not until next year plus I don't want to because it's a great place to work with cool people and I've been there almost 7 years now.
Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this?
She doesn't have the job yet, so 50/50 she will be back.
Just see what happens and go from there. I am a true believer that things happen for a reason, so maybe there is a reason she is back in your life. I am not saying you need to start dating immediately again, but maybe fate brought you two together?
I can understand how you would feel if you have to work close proximity because I had to do this with a guy I fell for and yes, all the feeling do come back and it sucked big time. I quit my job over it. But my story was totally different in a way because I was completely honest with the guy about how I felt and he did not feel the same way AND we had a ton of history. Your story with this girl is still new (2 months is not that long).
I would suggest if she does get the job, just seeing how it goes. Feeling might be there, but take it slow and see if she shows any interest (if you even want to go there again). Be friends for awhile. Maybe no dates, just friends at work?
Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this?
Yeah... comb your hair, tuck in your shirt and hitch up your panties.
Reread what you just wrote, you learned a lot of good and valuable lessons that you've written about concerning other women and relationships. So stand tall and be a man when she comes to her old job, don't play the flirt game where she can control you and keep some distance.
More advice... be more clear on your titles. I thought we were going to hear this great sex story about some woman at work who really does...
OK, I'll be more clear on the titles Rakin, ha ha. And what's even more ironic is I wrote her a glowing letter of recommendation when she left that she's probably using as a reference. Grrrr.....
OK, I'll be more clear on the titles Rakin, ha ha. And what's even more ironic is I wrote her a glowing letter of recommendation when she left that she's probably using as a reference.Grrrr.....
OK, I'll be more clear on the titles Rakin, ha ha. And what's even more ironic is I wrote her a glowing letter of recommendation when she left that she's probably using as a reference. Grrrr.....
Whoever 1st said "No good deed goes unpunished" was a genuis.
Good luck with the babe and remember good guys are very hard to find. Make her come to you if you'd like to reestablish your relationship, You're the catch not her. There may be a hundred((s) women in your town that would love to connect with a good guy like you.
I had something similar happen which was very awkward. I dated a woman who worked in a different building but for the same company after my coworker set us up on a blind date. I went out with her quite a few times but I just didn't feel like she was right for me and I stopped calling her. A couple of years later I was walking through the office which is a huge building and there she was sitting at a desk. She had just taken a new job as an engineer in my office. I really felt like a jerk for not calling her but we managed to be friendly and had coffee a few times. These things happen to people and you just have to make the best of it.
I dont date wear I work, all of the outcomes except one are bad. Whats worse is you have to face the mistake on a daily basis.
Yeah, I know. I didn't ask her out until we stopped working together. Thanks for the kind words Rakin. I just called her and cancelled next week and told her I'm done dating her for now. If she wants to date in the future she knows how to reach me, but I'm feeling pretty weary about getting involved with her again. I shouldn't have to work so hard and stress so much over someone no matter how beautiful and perfect for me I think she is. I'm meeting up with another gal tonight I've had my eye on for a while. I don't think this one and I ever have a chance of working together so things are looking up
There is a lot of good women in this world, trick is to find them. Let me give you the best advice ever given me... You know those extremely hot girls that all the guys drool over ?
Go after her not so hot friend who being neglected by all the guys. Trust me, they are the most drama free and sexual women. They can't rely on their looks so they have to develop better skills.
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enjoy your date with the new girl.
