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I have always fantasized about being a hermit, as a child I have fond memories of spending many hours alone which can be quite a chore growing up in a two bed room house with eleven people. I guess its more of a luxury than fantasy these days. I don't mind people ,I don't have to have them around all the time. You might be the kind of person who likes to meet strangers, Its always exciting learning new stuff about them, who they are, what they do, and then they go away and you don't have to see them again. that's the part I like.
I recognize your handle, but I don't remember much about your posts so I'm just going to go by what you've said here. It sounds like you've reached your limit of being the punching bag. Nothing wrong with that. Some people go their whole lives without realizing they are worth more and that being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely.
Just make sure you are actually having this "epiphany" and not isolating yourself as some kind of defense mechanism. The mind is a powerful thing. You can convince yourself for a while and still find yourself in yet another toxic relationship. I hope this isn't the case. And I hope you find all the happiness your pea-pickin' lil' heart can stand, alone and with someone else.
It's kind of like people trying not to be shy anymore (I used to be extremely shy). Being shy is not a disease! Honestly, extroverts need to shut their damn mouths most of the time anyway imo. Just start to observe and listen to people and things around you instead of always having the need to chat.
I agree extroverts need to shut the f up.
I don't know why I can understand them but for some strange reason extroverts can't seem to understand others. They look at introverts like they have some kind of disease. LOL I don't get it.
In between relationships in my life I had my alone time and enjoyed it very much. Just me and my children. Now being married I still need my alone time, so does my husband and son. We all respect each others privacy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. Good luck in your new job, apartment and exploring San Diego on your own.
I think this is a common line of thought when you've had a string of bad experiences in the social world. It's a self-preservation thing. (I used to think that way too.)
I used to come on this board frequently for advice with guys I dated and my terrible track record. I recently realized I am just not someone who is meant to be in a close, committed, relationship.
Last month I went on a vacation from hell with 2 girlfriends of mine. Jane treated me like her punching bag the whole time, always gave me her two cents, never would compromise, and would get upset that I wasn't interested in the same things she liked. Alice although very sweet and nice, had no backbone and allowed for Jane to mistreat her as well as myself.
The vacation ended with me basically exploding at Jane, saying mean things to her, packing up my bags, and telling her to go F herself. Yes I know not mature at all.
The next day, I got a flight to another island (we were in Hawaii), and I continued to travel solo (which I frequently do anyway). I treated myself to a gourmet 4 course dinner alone. I had a romantic dinner for one and enjoyed every minute of it. Sure it seemed like I got a lot of stares, but it was well worth it to be alone.
Since that fiasco with Jane (I still keep in touch once in awhile with Alice), I haven't tried to date really anymore. The few guys I have gone out with since, bore the hell out of me.
I am not trying to seem dark or anything, but I realize I came into this world alone, so I am leaving alone. I seem to be the happiest when no one is around me.
I tend to agree. People are WORK. No one can be a better friend to you than you.
I've definitely been there, had that epiphany. Especially after my divorce. My friends wanted to take me to lunch or dinner, and at first had this look in their eyes like they weren't sure how to approach the subject. One friend simply said "I'm really sorry about..." and I cut her off. I said "Don't feel sorry for me, CONGRATULATE me!" I walked out on my marriage, because I had to save my son and myself. Literally. It was LIBERATING. I poured myself into my job, and hung out with friends on the weekends. But it was MY life, for the first time. Ever. And my son was the only guy in my life, except for a couple male friendships.
Since then, I've had two relationships, one was 6 months, the other was a year and 3 months, and I'm undecided on the whole thing, now. I left the 6 month relationship, but the last one left me feeling blind-sided (it was a very long distance relationship. He's in Chile).
That was back in February, and, though I'm kind of wanting someone in my life, again, I still feel it's too soon to be serious. But I'm not a serial dater, although I have been out on a few dates since... but more importantly, I'm enjoying the company of my friends and family and... me. I'm not such a boring person... I even laugh at my own jokes.
thought i was the only one who did this. glad to see i'm not crazy, just happy!
I discovered i like being alone almost 5 yrs ago after my last breakup. The funny thing is, i was expecting to be depressed and to feel alone, but it was the total opposite! I LOVED coming home knowing that there would be no drama, and that the house would be exactly how i left it. I began to enjoy my girlfriends more than ever. Having peace of mind is priceless.
Of course i come across people who say that i won't feel this way forever, eventually, i won't like being alone. But i just think those people are projecting their feelings onto me. I like to date every now and then, but i really enjoy either hanging out w/friends or by myself.
I used to come on this board frequently for advice with guys I dated and my terrible track record. I recently realized I am just not someone who is meant to be in a close, committed, relationship.
Last month I went on a vacation from hell with 2 girlfriends of mine. Jane treated me like her punching bag the whole time, always gave me her two cents, never would compromise, and would get upset that I wasn't interested in the same things she liked. Alice although very sweet and nice, had no backbone and allowed for Jane to mistreat her as well as myself.
The vacation ended with me basically exploding at Jane, saying mean things to her, packing up my bags, and telling her to go F herself. Yes I know not mature at all.
The next day, I got a flight to another island (we were in Hawaii), and I continued to travel solo (which I frequently do anyway). I treated myself to a gourmet 4 course dinner alone. I had a romantic dinner for one and enjoyed every minute of it. Sure it seemed like I got a lot of stares, but it was well worth it to be alone.
Since that fiasco with Jane (I still keep in touch once in awhile with Alice), I haven't tried to date really anymore. The few guys I have gone out with since, bore the hell out of me.
I am not trying to seem dark or anything, but I realize I came into this world alone, so I am leaving alone. I seem to be the happiest when no one is around me.
A few lustrums ago we had some Fantastic times at the Kona Surf on the big island (Hawaii)...Pig BBQ
There were lighted area showing the Manta Rays, & other ocean life at night...Awesome,
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You're too young to be in this stage, though...
Having the "I Want to be Alone" Epiphany
. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. Good luck in your new job, apartment and exploring San Diego on your own
