Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I used to come on this board frequently for advice with guys I dated and my terrible track record. I recently realized I am just not someone who is meant to be in a close, committed, relationship.
Last month I went on a vacation from hell with 2 girlfriends of mine. Jane treated me like her punching bag the whole time, always gave me her two cents, never would compromise, and would get upset that I wasn't interested in the same things she liked. Alice although very sweet and nice, had no backbone and allowed for Jane to mistreat her as well as myself.
The vacation ended with me basically exploding at Jane, saying mean things to her, packing up my bags, and telling her to go F herself. Yes I know not mature at all.
The next day, I got a flight to another island (we were in Hawaii), and I continued to travel solo (which I frequently do anyway). I treated myself to a gourmet 4 course dinner alone. I had a romantic dinner for one and enjoyed every minute of it. Sure it seemed like I got a lot of stares, but it was well worth it to be alone.
Since that fiasco with Jane (I still keep in touch once in awhile with Alice), I haven't tried to date really anymore. The few guys I have gone out with since, bore the hell out of me.
I am not trying to seem dark or anything, but I realize I came into this world alone, so I am leaving alone. I seem to be the happiest when no one is around me.
Since that fiasco with Jane (I still keep in touch once in awhile with Alice), I haven't tried to date really anymore. The few guys I have gone out with since, bore the hell out of me.
I am not trying to seem dark or anything, but I realize I came into this world alone, so I am leaving alone. I seem to be the happiest when no one is around me.
As opposed to what?... sit there and entertain you? is that what the guy's role is?
As opposed to what?... sit there and entertain you? is that what the guy's role is?
nothing wrong with being alone
I dunno. They were all nice, but it was like I would have rather been at home reading a book or on City Data LOL. I felt bad because I used to be a really good listener and now I just lost patience. Every date feels exactly the same to me.
I actually just left LA and moved to San Diego. Haven't dated here, but that has been my experience to LA. I am enjoying all my solo time, my new job, having my own place finally, and discovering a new city on my own.
I dunno. They were all nice, but it was like I would have rather been at home reading a book or on City Data LOL. I felt bad because I used to be a really good listener and now I just lost patience. Every date feels exactly the same to me.
I actually just left LA and moved to San Diego. Haven't dated here, but that has been my experience to LA. I am enjoying all my solo time, my new job, having my own place finally, and discovering a new city on my own.
There's nothing wrong with that.. this US culture and society puts a lot of pressure on people to be married or together and negatively stereotypes being single. But I think it's changing.. some..
I've definitely been there, had that epiphany. Especially after my divorce. My friends wanted to take me to lunch or dinner, and at first had this look in their eyes like they weren't sure how to approach the subject. One friend simply said "I'm really sorry about..." and I cut her off. I said "Don't feel sorry for me, CONGRATULATE me!" I walked out on my marriage, because I had to save my son and myself. Literally. It was LIBERATING. I poured myself into my job, and hung out with friends on the weekends. But it was MY life, for the first time. Ever. And my son was the only guy in my life, except for a couple male friendships.
Since then, I've had two relationships, one was 6 months, the other was a year and 3 months, and I'm undecided on the whole thing, now. I left the 6 month relationship, but the last one left me feeling blind-sided (it was a very long distance relationship. He's in Chile).
That was back in February, and, though I'm kind of wanting someone in my life, again, I still feel it's too soon to be serious. But I'm not a serial dater, although I have been out on a few dates since... but more importantly, I'm enjoying the company of my friends and family and... me. I'm not such a boring person... I even laugh at my own jokes.
I've definitely been there, had that epiphany. Especially after my divorce. My friends wanted to take me to lunch or dinner, and at first had this look in their eyes like they weren't sure how to approach the subject. One friend simply said "I'm really sorry about..." and I cut her off. I said "Don't feel sorry for me, CONGRATULATE me!" I walked out on my marriage, because I had to save my son and myself. Literally. It was LIBERATING. I poured myself into my job, and hung out with friends on the weekends. But it was MY life, for the first time. Ever. And my son was the only guy in my life, except for a couple male friendships.
Since then, I've had two relationships, one was 6 months, the other was a year and 3 months, and I'm undecided on the whole thing, now. I left the 6 month relationship, but the last one left me feeling blind-sided (it was a very long distance relationship. He's in Chile).
That was back in February, and, though I'm kind of wanting someone in my life, again, I still feel it's too soon to be serious. But I'm not a serial dater, although I have been out on a few dates since... but more importantly, I'm enjoying the company of my friends and family and... me. I'm not such a boring person... I even laugh at my own jokes.
Sometimes you absolutely have to get the hell away from some people.. A lot of people don't understand this.. they think you're crazy if you don't 'conform' .. and can't relate to why you don't.
You said this so well Neemy! It is really liberating to finally have the 100% freedom that you felt you didn't have before.
I also amuse myself. People don't get it
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neemy14
I've definitely been there, had that epiphany. Especially after my divorce. My friends wanted to take me to lunch or dinner, and at first had this look in their eyes like they weren't sure how to approach the subject. One friend simply said "I'm really sorry about..." and I cut her off. I said "Don't feel sorry for me, CONGRATULATE me!" I walked out on my marriage, because I had to save my son and myself. Literally. It was LIBERATING. I poured myself into my job, and hung out with friends on the weekends. But it was MY life, for the first time. Ever. And my son was the only guy in my life, except for a couple male friendships.
Since then, I've had two relationships, one was 6 months, the other was a year and 3 months, and I'm undecided on the whole thing, now. I left the 6 month relationship, but the last one left me feeling blind-sided (it was a very long distance relationship. He's in Chile).
That was back in February, and, though I'm kind of wanting someone in my life, again, I still feel it's too soon to be serious. But I'm not a serial dater, although I have been out on a few dates since... but more importantly, I'm enjoying the company of my friends and family and... me. I'm not such a boring person... I even laugh at my own jokes.
Exactly. I lost friends due to them thinking I wasn't interested in having a friendship with them.
Just because I require a lot of alone time and don't like being attached at the hip with you, doesn't mean I don't like you or not care!
It's kind of like people trying not to be shy anymore (I used to be extremely shy). Being shy is not a disease! Honestly, extroverts need to shut their damn mouths most of the time anyway imo. Just start to observe and listen to people and things around you instead of always having the need to chat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeanACM
Sometimes you absolutely have to get the hell away from some people.. A lot of people don't understand this.. they think you're crazy if you don't 'conform' .. and can't relate to why you don't.
Oildog is right in post #2. From what I remember of you from the boards here, you seem to be a really sweet girl who WILL find a great guy. Its when you have the "alone ephiphany" is when someone great will come into your life. You just wait and see.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
