inconsistancy in relationship

[sierraAZ]

Originally Posted by thewaywewere

blame me of bing" insecure" and don't have" confidence"

That's evidently correct since you still put up with him; not for the reasons stated! What is WRONG with you?! You know who doesn't kiss - the johns?! That as@ should be paying for the type of encounters he needs!

[scarlet_ohara]

Originally Posted by thewaywewere

he has friends and talked about them a lot, i just never met them. his family is in another state, he talks about his family a lot too.

Talk is cheap. Ask yourself why he hasn't made introductions happen since they are on his mind so much, and you are his exclusive girlfriend. It could be that they don't exist, or that they might reveal other things he doesn't want you to know.

Originally Posted by thewaywewere

he seem to be a pretty normal guy,

You are fooling yourself. What you have told us about him is NOT normal. Deep down you know this...that's why you are here.

Originally Posted by thewaywewere

and when i was moving to another apt he asked if i needed to stay with him for few weeks untill i find a place to live which i think indicates he's not seeing someone else.

It's not really an indication. He may have anticipated that you wouldn't accept his invitation, but knew the offer would endear you to him.

Originally Posted by thewaywewere

i'm just so confused...i tried to talk with him but he sees the " talk" as complaining and " don't want it"

As another poster said, early in relationships people are on their best behavior. This is the best he will ever be.

[the minx]

The things that would bother me are the no kissing and oral only.

Kissing is very intimate, if not the most intimate act, between two people. Oral tends to be just the opposite for many (women, especially).

Do you really want to be with someone who thinks on those terms?

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by thewaywewere

I don't believe he has gay tendency or that he's not interested heterosexcual sex. He told me how he had his huge crush on a girl and was madly in love with her while he's married which caused his divorce. up till now when he talks about her, i can still see the admiration and passion he has/had for her. he also told me he had pretty good sex life(real sex, not bjs) with his previous gf.
when i ask why we are not having real sex, he alaways say that we do have sex( we did, very rare) and that he loves bjs and blame me of bing" insecure" and don't have" confidence"

He could still be modifying the details to hide his true preferences. That's easy to do. That's what I'd suspect after all that time--if it got that far with me--which it wouldn't.

[andreaspercheron]

First red flag for me is that he hasn't introduced you to friends and come out as a "couple" yet. I had a b/f once upon a time (douchbag of a guy) who never introduced me to family or friends and I found out why, he was basically cheating on me all the time and never brought any girls home to keep the drama at a minimum with his family. Bizarre but that's why he's an EX LOL

Umm... second thing would be the sexual stuff, he's only wanting to go the oral route? So meaning (without getting graphic) but is it mutual or one-sided? Wouldn't really matter to me, that is another red flag. It concerns me that he's kept you so isolated,it's a very strange relationship and obviously you are here asking for help because you have to know it's not normal - right? So, the first order of busines for me if I were in your shoes would be to start asking very real questions and be direct, don't leave any room for confusion on his part. I would say that if he gets defensive or evasive, it's time to really re-think this before it goes any further.
Good luck.