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Had a discussion about this with a group of friends last night.
A couple of my friends [male/female] WOULD NOT have sex with a new partner unless they both get tested and bring test results to one another. They argue this is not only hygienic, but a good sign of trust that can be begin developing in a new relationship.
Other friends said they don't make that requirement because many STD's/STI's won't show up on a single blood test until after six months of exposure anyway. So because they wouldn't wait six months to have sex, they usually play it 'safer' by going with condoms.
Another girl in the group, [early 20s] who is a strong believer in 'sex-during-the-first-date' said that you just can't bring the subject of STD's/STI's during a one-night-stand because the defeats the whole purpose of the night
Another guy friend in his early 20's simply said he just trusts what the other person tells him.
I made the request to a couple of people in the past, but it actually worked quite well in those cases. But I imagine making such request may not always be feasible/appropriate depending the circumstances.
Would like to hear from the community here. What are your opinions?
I've never required that or ever been asked to do so, but I'm also very selective about who I sleep with and have never had a problem. I do think it is probably a good idea, though, but of course it may slow down the onset of sex, or it may simply mean you use protection until the results are back and deal then with any problems discovered.
I've never required that or ever been asked to do so, but I'm also very selective about who I sleep with and have never had a problem. I do think it is probably a good idea, though, but of course it may slow down the onset of sex, or it may simply mean you use protection until the results are back and deal then with any problems discovered.
What do you mean by 'selective'?
You bring a good point. I guess many people would struggle slowing down the onset of sex
Selective means I know them well enough or long enough to have a pretty good idea of their character, honesty, and care in selecting their own past partners. Of course it's not infallible, but I trust my instincts about people, based on past experience.
There is also the idea of relative risk. It may be riskier driving home after a date than to have sex with that date. And I wear a seatbelt ...
For me, anything that removes the spontaneity of sex seems too calculated. Sex is supposed to be passionate and spontaneous, the more anticipation that builds up between two people the more intense the sex. Demanding medical documentation seems to throw cold water on the deal. The sex part has been discussed in clinical terms, like a job interview, and it would almost feel like we were simply going through the motions so to speak.
I know there will be those who say you have to take every possible precaution when it comes to STD's, but I've managed just fine without a doctors note and I've been disease free my entire life. I imagine if two people feel the same way about this, it wouldn't be an issue. For me, the anticipation, that build up to sex, like water coming to a slow boil, would suddenly be chilled, it would be the equivalent of your best friend telling you that your family is about to throw you a surprise birthday party...so act surprised.
Last edited by Coolhand68; 08-17-2010 at 08:14 AM..
For me, anything that removes the spontaneity of sex seems too calculated. Sex is supposed to be passionate and spontaneous, the more anticipation that builds up between two people the more intense the sex. Demanding medical documentation seems to throw cold water on the deal. The sex part has been discussed in clinical terms, like a job interview, and it would almost feel like we were simply going through the motions so to speak.
I know there will be those who say you have to take every possible precaution when it comes to STD's, but I've managed just fine without a doctors note and I've been disease free my entire life. I imagine if two people feel the same way about this, it wouldn't be an issue. For me, the anticipation, that build up to sex, like water coming to a slow boil, would be the equivalent of your best friend telling you that your family is about to throw you a surprise birthday party...so act surprised.
Grrr... tried to rep ya ohhh well. But, I totally agree. In fact, I couldn't have said this better myself.
]I know there will be those who say you have to take every possible precaution when it comes to STD's, but I've managed just fine without a doctors note and I've been disease free my entire life. I imagine if two people feel the same way about this, it wouldn't be an issue. For me, the anticipation, that build up to sex, like water coming to a slow boil, would be the equivalent of your best friend telling you that your family is about to throw you a surprise birthday party...so act surprised.
Coolhand68,
Thanks for your response. It was very insightful.
Would you mind sharing how 'have you managed'? Do you ever bring the subject at all with new partners?
I guess I managed by applying good judgment, getting to know someone, and in cases where there was any room for doubt, practicing safe sex. While my method of discretion may not be fool proof, and I probably got lucky along the way, it worked. One thing that probably helped is that I never went for the easy women. If she was giving it up too easy, then chances are I wasn't all that special and she's been around.
Now if only my judgment skills helped to weed out some of the crazies in my life, but that's another topic altogether.
I guess I managed by applying good judgment, getting to know someone, and in cases where there was any room for doubt, practicing safe sex. While my method of discretion may not be fool proof, and I probably got lucky along the way, it worked. One thing that probably helped is that I never went for the easy women. If she was giving it up too easy, then chances are I wasn't all that special and she's been around.
Now if only my judgment skills helped to weed out some of the crazies in my life, but that's another topic altogether.
LOL I've learned to do that! As easy as it was for you to weed out women, it's just as easy to weed out would-be friends...
You have good judgment skills and I think most of the posters on here would agree.
I guess I managed by applying good judgment, getting to know someone, and in cases where there was any room for doubt, practicing safe sex. While my method of discretion may not be fool proof, and I probably got lucky along the way, it worked. One thing that probably helped is that I never went for the easy women. If she was giving it up too easy, then chances are I wasn't all that special and she's been around.
Now if only my judgment skills helped to weed out some of the crazies in my life, but that's another topic altogether.
Very interesting. Good points. Thanks for sharing!!!!
So your judgment was good for keeping you safe from STD's but not good enough to keep the crazies out!!!
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