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I went to a meal with some of my mom's friends last night, and all of us talked about different stuff, sports, politics, etc. My mom's friend hardly said anything in these conversations, and even though she was married was to me quite pretty.
A possible reason for non-participation in conversations is that they cannot add anything to them, or they don't have any real opinions to offer. Do people who don't have any real developed opinions/attitudes of their own turn you off? And would you date somebody who couldn't conceptualise for themselves?
1. Someone whose ill-informed opinion has been spoon-fed to them is just as worthless a conversant as someone who says nothing. That pretty much covers the majority of people. Just because someone is ready to babble an opinion does not mean they really thought about anything or have a clue what they are saying.
2. Some people are shy and intimidated and will not voice strong opinions in those situations. Especially in front of strangers. She may have had lots of thoughts but kept them to herself.
3. She may have completely disagreed with the opinions being offered and didn't want to cause dissent or bad feelings in a nice social gathering.
I wouldn't rush to judge that this woman had no opinions or was just 'dumb.'
But the answer to the question is no. I can't stand being around people who have opinions that are not well-researched and internally debated (again, the majority of the population) or who don't care about anything and can't be bothered with deep thought and reflection. So I would not date them.
1. Someone whose ill-informed opinion has been spoon-fed to them is just as worthless a conversant as someone who says nothing. That pretty much covers the majority of people. Just because someone is ready to babble an opinion does not mean they really thought about anything or have a clue what they are saying.
2. Some people are shy and intimidated and will not voice strong opinions in those situations. Especially in front of strangers. She may have had lots of thoughts but kept them to herself.
3. She may have completely disagreed with the opinions being offered and didn't want to cause dissent or bad feelings in a nice social gathering.
I wouldn't rush to judge that this woman had no opinions or was just 'dumb.'
I didn't mean to imply that you had decided that about her. I am just fleshing out the other possibilities...I know people who are very deep and intellectually honest who don't really talk much in public. Too bad. These people sometimes have the best, most informative things to say. Sometimes the mere injection of facts can derail a conversation, so they keep quiet.
I am very opinionated and I have learned to rarely say anything in mixed or uncertain company. First of all there is the great probability of offending somebody. Secondly, too many people talking at once is too distracting for me, most of the time I lose track of the conversation and just tune out. Ultimately, it is pointless to discuss anything because it doesn't change anything.
You can't judge somebody based on one encounter. She may well be the most opinionated person in the world. Or she may simply not care about politics and sports. In any case most of what people "converse" about are simply regurgitated fact or opinions formed from osmosis.
Location: On the "Left Coast", somewhere in "the Land of Fruits & Nuts"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu
I am very opinionated and I have learned to rarely say anything in mixed or uncertain company. First of all there is the great probability of offending somebody. Secondly, too many people talking at once is too distracting for me, most of the time I lose track of the conversation and just tune out. Ultimately, it is pointless to discuss anything because it doesn't change anything.
You can't judge somebody based on one encounter. She may well be the most opinionated person in the world. Or she may simply not care about politics and sports. In any case most of what people "converse" about are simply regurgitated fact or opinions formed from osmosis.
I don't have a problem with so-called "regurgitated" stuff, and let's face it, how much of anything that any of us knows is really all that "original" anyway? Except for the folks who only care about their own opinions (or just like hearing themselves talk), even "recycled" opinions can serve as a good jumping off point for exploring how and why people really feel about something.
Last edited by mateo45; 08-30-2010 at 04:29 PM..
Reason: spell...
I went to a meal with some of my mom's friends last night, and all of us talked about different stuff, sports, politics, etc. My mom's friend hardly said anything in these conversations, and even though she was married was to me quite pretty.
A possible reason for non-participation in conversations is that they cannot add anything to them, or they don't have any real opinions to offer. Do people who don't have any real developed opinions/attitudes of their own turn you off? And would you date somebody who couldn't conceptualise for themselves?
Maybe she had a bad day, and was just feeling "quiet".
Maybe she wasn't feeling well.
And, sometimes your posts are very confusing. Do you talk this way, too? With double negatives, words out of context, etc? It's possible she had no idea what you were talking about, because of the way you phrase things... I don't know how else to describe it.
And maybe she was afraid if she did contribute to the conversation, you'd just keep asking more questions, or, more frustratingly, answering questions with questions.
I am very opinionated and I have learned to rarely say anything in mixed or uncertain company. First of all there is the great probability of offending somebody. Secondly, too many people talking at once is too distracting for me, most of the time I lose track of the conversation and just tune out. Ultimately, it is pointless to discuss anything because it doesn't change anything.
You can't judge somebody based on one encounter. She may well be the most opinionated person in the world. Or she may simply not care about politics and sports. In any case most of what people "converse" about are simply regurgitated fact or opinions formed from osmosis.
Well nothing I really believe is regurgitated or absorbed.
I guess I'm just judging people by my own standards. I like debate, about anything, since I like mental sharpness.
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I was simply responding to her opinions of me, which I couldn't care less about.
I'm really surprised people without them exist! Maybe they don't know what anus is and deny having one.
