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Old 09-08-2010, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Central Ohio
10,822 posts, read 14,891,992 times
Reputation: 16520

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Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
My ex gained 130lbs during our 4 year relationship...I stayed at 130lb
My wife weighed in at 98 lbs when we were married and 35 years later she can still wear her wedding dress. Yeah, it is a little snug but she can button all the buttons so I am a lucky guy.

 
Old 09-08-2010, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,446,403 times
Reputation: 10809
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
How about the stress of being married to an ahole?

Looks like you didn't think of that.

You wouldn't believe the number of women who cope with a bad marriage by eating. They eat because it's the only thing in their lives that makes them feel nurtured. They eat because they are tired because--say it with me, kids--they work fulltime, come home, and have to do all of the chores while their lazy-arse husbands sit on the couch thinking their own work ended at 5:00.

As for the part about telling the wife how fat she's getting, come on, Denny. Women have mirrors. Women have scales. Women have clothes that have to be replaced in bigger sizes. They don't need their husbands' "helpful suggestions" couched in terms of "a health standpoint" when 99% of the time it's really about the husband's sexual desires and whether he's embarrassed to be seen in public with a fat wife. Get with reality, man!
Hmm. Wouldn't it be better to divorce the "ahole" for reasons of health and happiness before turning into a bitter, obese, self-destructive shrew? Odds are, the scenario you present will end in divorce anyway, and then where will she be? The reality of that isn't too attractive, either.
 
Old 09-08-2010, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,192,652 times
Reputation: 73922
Nope. But I think I would have issues with it. Just being honest.
 
Old 09-08-2010, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,430 posts, read 4,324,188 times
Reputation: 2186
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
My wife weighed in at 98 lbs when we were married and 35 years later she can still wear her wedding dress. Yeah, it is a little snug but she can button all the buttons so I am a lucky guy.
So if your wife weighed more than 98 lbs you would be unlucky?
 
Old 09-08-2010, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Central FL
1,382 posts, read 3,792,897 times
Reputation: 1198
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
My wife weighed in at 98 lbs when we were married and 35 years later she can still wear her wedding dress. Yeah, it is a little snug but she can button all the buttons so I am a lucky guy.
And you need to make sure you tell her that you recognize how attractive she is even 35 years later!
 
Old 09-08-2010, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Central FL
1,382 posts, read 3,792,897 times
Reputation: 1198
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC View Post
Have you discussed any of this with him, that you are becoming less attracted to him due to weight gain, and that you wish you could hear more compliments from him? Because these things aren't going to change by magic. It's just going to get worse and worse -- better to have an honest talk right now and nip it in the bud. (Be prepared to hear any of his criticisms he may have about you too.)
Yes, this entire thing blew up recently. He used to spend hours on the bike trails and kayaking before we had kids. That helped him to stay thin. Now he is working a lot of hours and focused on the stupid strongman competitions, so he doesn't have time to do that long distance cardio anymore.

I like a tall, thin guy. It's just my thing. I never wanted to marry some thick muscular guy, but I guess people change. He was underweight before (always cold, had heart pains, etc) and his family genes are such that they can just look at food and put on weight.

As for complementing me, it's not in his nature. I guess I have to learn to deal with that, but it is NOT easy and I often wonder if I can survive on crumbs forever. He used to be different in this area as well.
 
Old 09-08-2010, 01:21 PM
 
239 posts, read 893,477 times
Reputation: 199
I suspect that anyone with a massive weight gain is facing serious emotional, personal and medical issues that will make them less desirable to their spouse.
 
Old 09-08-2010, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,192,652 times
Reputation: 73922
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Outcast View Post
I suspect that anyone with a massive weight gain is facing serious emotional, personal and medical issues that will make them less desirable to their spouse.
Naw. Lots of people also get lazy and complacent.
Weight gain after marriage is a well-documented phenomenon.

Get Married, Gain Weight
 
Old 09-08-2010, 02:05 PM
 
8,679 posts, read 15,241,118 times
Reputation: 15342
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Hmm. Wouldn't it be better to divorce the "ahole" for reasons of health and happiness before turning into a bitter, obese, self-destructive shrew? Odds are, the scenario you present will end in divorce anyway, and then where will she be? The reality of that isn't too attractive, either.
Timing is everything, and everyone's situation is different.

It can happen later in a marriage, once the couple has kids. Many a wife deals with working fulltime and handling the lion's share of housework for two adults. Then kids come along, and caring for them just gets added to her list. Meanwhile, ol' Couch Potato husband comes home from work, sits on his arse, and of course wants a home-cooked hot meal that his testosterone-fortified metabolism shreds right through. If the wife doesn't cook (because she's too tired or doesn't have the time), they end up getting take-out, fast food, or pizza.

Meanwhile, the wife is stressed out, exhausted, and snacking through the day to try to keep her energy up (it's a fact that tired people eat more, and eat more unhealthily). Because she's stressed, her cortisol levels are through the roof, so what she eats goes right to her middle. She's also sleep-deprived, which messes with her ability to lose any weight she gains, even if she does try to nip it in the bud when her jeans get tight. And she's certainly too dang tired to work out, even if she had the time.

But, see, she's got a family. She's got kids. She's been married for 10, maybe 15 years.

Not everyone can just up and walk away.

Reality, man. It bites.
 
Old 09-08-2010, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,987 posts, read 10,446,403 times
Reputation: 10809
Ah, Avienne, you make good arguments to avoid marriage and procreation! (Except for those fortunate few who are true partners and actually cooperate to make it work.)
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