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Being fat is not just about appearance. I really wish people would STOP locking onto that one point. Its an expensive problem that is going to kill you sooner than if you were healthy. And if your other half is skinny but you both eat the same, its likely they make be skinny and unhealthy because of food types.
I remember your earlier thread asking people whether they have told people close to them about their mistakes and misconceptions (dating out of their league, trying for jobs they are not qualified for, etc.). When pressed, you admitted you had not had one of those conversations with someone close to you. This is the same kind of conversation. Just as I shared that I couldn't think of how to tactfully, kindly tell our roommate that his dating chances were very slim (practically none) with the hotties he was pursuing, it's not an easy task to tell a spouse, "Slim down or I may have to divorce you or at least seek sex elsewhere."
Again, study after study shows that the people who are successful in losing weight are those who do it for themselves--NOT other people.
As far as spouses being responsible for keeping each other healthy, no. Adults are responsible for themselves. What you describe sounds more like a parent. If anyone else--spouse, friend, relative, whoever--decided it was their place to be responsible for my health and I'm not already senile and legally incompetent, that person would be cordially invited to butt out. That attitude is just much too disrespectful of me and too much of a violation of my autonomy as an adult capable of making her own decisions. Forget it.
Sorry but I have to disagree with you on not being responsible for each other. Its what you are a team for. To make up for each others weakness points.
Some people handle the money better or the cleaning or the diet. Its all about creating the balance TOGETHER to give yourselves a positive healthy future.
People that have addictions and problems are usually in denial of them or oblivious of the repercussions. For some people its food.
I had to confront a girlfriend about her spending habits and how they were getting out of control. I knew she would be offended by my saying that she was being reckless. But I told her anyway and, just as I predicted, she got offended. We broke up. A few months later, I found out that she had to sell her car and move back in with her parents because she was broke.
I had to confront a girlfriend about her spending habits and how they were getting out of control. I knew she would be offended by my saying that she was being reckless. But I told her anyway and, just as I predicted, she got offended. We broke up. A few months later, I found out that she had to sell her car and move back in with her parents because she was broke.
How is describing the consequences of one's behavior the sign of a callous heart? If you tell someone they're smoking will turn off others and cause them to be alone, does that mean you have a callous heart? No. You're just informing them what will result from their behavior.
Actually, if that's how you tell them, yes, it is callous.
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Actually you didn't. I asked you whether a spouse is supposed to keep quiet if their partner knows what they need to do, but can't motivate themselves or can't ask for help. You dodged that. Instead you just told me to get with reality and said that people can't talk about everything with their partners. But that's still not an answer.
And I've said over and over again that overweight people do not need to be told they are overweight. I've also given room for saying it once, and then backing off. I said overweight people already know what they need to do. I've said they are the ones who are responsible for their own health and to ask for help. And I've said over and over and over and OVER again that no one can take control of their health and eating but them. You cannot do it for them. Anything more than one mention of it is wasted breath.
So yep, you should keep your mouth shut.
Just because you don't agree with my answers doesn't mean I haven't provided any, so unless you have something new to ask, I'm done responding to you here.
I had to confront a girlfriend about her spending habits and how they were getting out of control. I knew she would be offended by my saying that she was being reckless. But I told her anyway and, just as I predicted, she got offended. We broke up. A few months later, I found out that she had to sell her car and move back in with her parents because she was broke.
Actually, a GF's spending habits are none of your business whatsoever as they don't affect you in any way.
I had to confront a girlfriend about her spending habits and how they were getting out of control. I knew she would be offended by my saying that she was being reckless. But I told her anyway and, just as I predicted, she got offended. We broke up. A few months later, I found out that she had to sell her car and move back in with her parents because she was broke.
I see it as the same problem as that too. Verbal stinging honesty is a lot more gentle than a heart attack.
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