Anyone married to someone who had a massive weight gain? (children, attractive)
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Gee, this started out as such a nice, gender neutral thread till this uh, birdthing came along.
Just another of the angry embittered perpetual victims seeking to blame everyone else for her problems. "Society made me feel bad about myself!" "Madison avenue hates fat women!" "I had a mean 'ol husband who made me hate myself!"
All of which translates to all men are jerks of course. What would you expect though from someone who obviously loathes herself.
Try looking in the mirror. Nobody did anything to you except you. Quit blaming everyone else for your baggage. You're not an expert on anything except self-loathing.
Oh yeah, women are really the only ones judged on their looks. Only women get ragged for being fat. Only women are held to impossible physical standards. Seen a magazine rack lately? There sure aren't any fat boys on the fitness and health men's magazine covers. What fat matinee idols are out there right now?
Everybody goes through bad times. Everybody encounters bad people in their lifetime. I know I have. Put it behind you and get over it. Spewing hatred all over internet forums seems a pretty pathetic way to cope with your demons.
Had to rep you on this. Wish I would give you 100 rep points. Well said.
That was a harsh post lacking in compassion and understanding. You obviously fail to understand complicated issues.
There's also some projection going on. But I'm not going to repeat myself. It's all in the post to Onglet. People can take it or leave it. I'm glad I said what I've said on this thread, though. It has helped me get to know a few folks better, and most of it has been for the better.
This thread is awesome, because it obviously shows who is and isn't relationship material. You can't ASSUME ANYTHING in a relationship. You never know until you get there. You can't plan, you only react. IMO, that is what makes relationships fun and special.
So, my wife know that if she had "massive weight gain" (as per the OPs example, that I would leave her.
Did you have this built into your wedding vows - till 30 lbs do us part (even if it's due to giving birth to our child)?! If not, you should've - could've certainly made some list of the "most romantic and loving couples"!
Honestly, my husband is an athlete. He's in great shape. But even if he was 300 lbs. it wouldn't make a difference to me, I'd still stand by him... do you know why? Because I'm not a shallow a--hole. People need to stop putting so much emphasis on things that really don't matter. Health is one thing, esthetics is another. Sometimes people need help... they have their reasons for gaining weight etc. (especially in this really bad food environment we live in). It takes understanding and education to assist those we love to a healthier life.
Did you have this built into your wedding vows - till 30 lbs do us part (even if it's due to giving birth to our child)?! If not, you should've - could've certainly made some list of the "most romantic and loving couples"!
We're not talking 30 pounds here. Based on the OPs question, we are talking 200 plus pounds. 30 pounds is nothing in my eyes. Its a tremendous amount in the eyes of my wife, but to me, its nothing.
Now, with that being said, if I wanted a fat wife I would have married a fat wife instead of a 125 pound ballroom dancer and nutritionist. As I have said before, it isnt just because of the weight why I would end my marriage, it is moreso because of the extreme change in attitude, lifestyle, self confidence, and overall lack of personal hygiene and personal care that would lead one (who is NOT subject to some physical illness) to gain so much weight. Especially since she holds physical fitness and health in such extreme high regard for herself.
My wife is much more hardcore about her physical fitness and health than I am. So, I know that it would take some supreme amount of personality and lifestyle change on her part to have a "massive weight gain". So much so that I know that whatever changes those would be would be, would be enough to irreparably damage our relationship. So you see, its not just about the weight. Its about all the other things that happens that would allow a person to let their health and lives to go sh*t like that to make them have "massive weight gain".
We're not talking 30 pounds here. Based on the OPs question, we are talking 200 plus pounds. 30 pounds is nothing in my eyes.
I didn't make the 30 lbs up - I only referred to another post of yours on this thread I read earlier today and I didn't feel like looking for to include in the quote.
For Pete's sake?! Have you ever considered she's not doing that deliberately? As hard of a concept as that would be?
Not doing it deliberately? Well, no more than my dh has 'deliberately' put on 70 lbs since we married.
But she chooses not to eat. This has been a battle her whole life. I believe her when she says she's 'not anorexic on purpose'. But at 80lbs, she's aware of it, or she wouldn't have gone to such great lengths to hide it from me, or lie to me when we're on the phone. There is a medication that has helped her in the past (hence, the 117 on the day of her wedding), but she won't take it any longer because she insists she's not 'anorexic'. It's the stigma of the word that bothers her. We discussed every weight issue to death in the past 20+ years! I know and love this woman more than any other on this planet. I use her as an example here, not to denigrate her, but to show that 'skinny' DOESN'T mean healthy.
As I've told her, if there were a pill someone could take to drop 40 lbs (vs her gaining 40), they wouldn't be able to produce it fast enough.
Not doing it deliberately? Well, no more than my dh has 'deliberately' put on 70 lbs since we married.
But she chooses not to eat. This has been a battle her whole life. I believe her when she says she's 'not anorexic on purpose'. But at 80lbs, she's aware of it, or she wouldn't have gone to such great lengths to hide it from me, or lie to me when we're on the phone. There is a medication that has helped her in the past (hence, the 117 on the day of her wedding), but she won't take it any longer because she insists she's not 'anorexic'. It's the stigma of the word that bothers her. We discussed every weight issue to death in the past 20+ years! I know and love this woman more than any other on this planet. I use her as an example here, not to denigrate her, but to show that 'skinny' DOESN'T mean healthy.
As I've told her, if there were a pill someone could take to drop 40 lbs (vs her gaining 40), they wouldn't be able to produce it fast enough.
Well, I suppose you know her better. I only reacted this way because there are people who can't gain weight just like some can't lose it. I apologize.
I know a woman who's ugly skinny, in my opinion. She's very beautiful otherwise. I know she goes to the gym every day, but I don't really know what or how much she eats...
I didn't make the 30 lbs up - I only referred to another post of yours on this thread I read earlier today and I didn't feel like looking for to include in the quote.
Oh I see. That was me talking about how upset and disappointed my wife would feel with herself if she gained 30 pounds.
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That was me talking about how upset and disappointed my wife would feel with herself if she gained 30 pounds.