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Old 10-01-2010, 08:32 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 5,578,118 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy.Rivers View Post
I'd never date a surgeon. I know a few and they are the most ridgid uptight people I've ever met .(sorry to any surgeons out there. It's just my experience so far.) His money and status would nor persuade me. I'd rather curl up to the mid-level manager any day.
Same here. The few surgeons I know also lack in personality and seem overly high strung.
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Old 10-01-2010, 08:40 PM
 
3,622 posts, read 5,578,118 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post

A CEO? I don't care if someone is a CEO. Anyone who a couple of hundred dollars, a computer and a postage stamp can become a CEO within 24 hours (or within minutes, depending on your jurisdiction).
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
A rock star? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Those cocaine-addled walking STD labs? I like artists for their art -- it doesn't mean I want to sleep with any of them.
Exactly, and ew,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
A high school football team captain? Oh please, get real. Unless he is also on the calculus team, I'm not interested.
Exactly some women value intelligence. Some women like to have an intellectual conversation instead of playing ridiculous "games."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
A doctor? Insane schedules mean you never see him. And when you do see him, he is one pager beep away from leaving that romantic evening and disappearing for a couple of days. Same goes for Wall Street lawyers and traders.
Right again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
A charismatic socialite? As I said, intelligent, handsome and charming works. Self-important and bloated doesn't.
Exactly.
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Old 10-01-2010, 10:42 PM
 
4,379 posts, read 5,365,356 times
Reputation: 1612
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
That's part of my problem, my accomplishments are all very average. I get average grades, I have the interests of the average 19 year old male, I've always held average jobs (no fancy internships at federal research institutes or big-name lawfirms or for politicians). That certainly didn't help in high school where I was surrounded by above-average people. It doesn't help in college where I am the average, nor does it help in the city I live in where what would be a major accomplishment in many cities is considered as basic an accomplishment as graduating high school.
Confidence is the issue, not getting dates.
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Old 10-01-2010, 11:05 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
9,394 posts, read 15,648,588 times
Reputation: 6262
Quote:
Originally Posted by samston View Post
Confidence is the issue, not getting dates.
no kidding. I mean I usually feel kinda confident but when I really take stock of my life... there's not much to boast about.
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Old 10-02-2010, 08:23 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,563,959 times
Reputation: 42767
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
That's part of my problem, my accomplishments are all very average. I get average grades, I have the interests of the average 19 year old male, I've always held average jobs (no fancy internships at federal research institutes or big-name lawfirms or for politicians). That certainly didn't help in high school where I was surrounded by above-average people. It doesn't help in college where I am the average, nor does it help in the city I live in where what would be a major accomplishment in many cities is considered as basic an accomplishment as graduating high school.
There's nothing wrong with any of that! You're 19. It's perfectly normal to have had an entry-level job or two, not have a lot of money, and not to have been many places or done many things. You're just starting out as an adult. So are all the girls at your college. They're average too. There's nothing wrong with average. You seem like a smart, thoughtful person. I think you'll be fine.
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Old 10-02-2010, 09:46 AM
 
3,261 posts, read 5,291,117 times
Reputation: 3986
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
The impression I'm getting from this thread is that I'm ****ed since I'm not the most attractive guy (although I don't think I'm ugly) nor am I a power player (and frankly my career aspirations don't translate to six figure income, at least not for a long-ass while).
No, you are not ****ed. You do not need to have any of those things to be considered attractive. You need to stay on the path to fulfilling your educational and career goals, FOR YOU, and along the way you will find a woman who will be attracted and love you for that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
Well it seems that the argument right now is whether women are attracted to men based on looks, status or both. Or men with 'game' which I honestly lack because I don't have that type of personality nor have I ever been taught in psychological manipulation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
That's part of my problem, my accomplishments are all very average. I get average grades, I have the interests of the average 19 year old male, I've always held average jobs (no fancy internships at federal research institutes or big-name lawfirms or for politicians). That certainly didn't help in high school where I was surrounded by above-average people. It doesn't help in college where I am the average, nor does it help in the city I live in where what would be a major accomplishment in many cities is considered as basic an accomplishment as graduating high school.
Please, do yourself a favor and put BajanYankee and Nutz76 on IGNORE. Do NOT READ their mumbo-jumbo, which only serves to further their whacko agenda and to market their blog and "system".

Mark my words, in 10-20 years these guys will be suffering from prostate problems, hair loss and a diminishing sex drive, but will do so all alone. They'll be trying to meet their needs with random girls (if they're lucky) or staring nostalgically at their little black book, whose pages will be stuck together from jerking off to days gone by.
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Old 10-02-2010, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Crooklyn, New York
31,924 posts, read 34,428,353 times
Reputation: 14996
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
This is a mantra you guys keep telling yourselves, and I can understand that. Be clear, beautiful people date beautiful people, generally.
How many times do I have to explain this? Women are far more diverse than men in what turns them on. Men are turned on by looks, period. Some women care a lot about looks, yes. But looks is only one form of male status. There are indeed many women who don't really care about looks at all. For most of these women, they would take a very average-looking, Harvard-educated radiologist or a Congressman over a very handsome customer service represntative for Verizon. Most men, on the other hand, would take a beautiful customer service representative for Verizon over a very plain jane Harvard-educated radiologist for whom they could barely muster an erection.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
It doesn't matter because likes are still going to go with likes. A smart and successful man is not going to be dating a booby bimbo. And this average guy of yours that gets into a good school is going to date an average female going to the same or similar school. I suppose this goes back to level of taste, class, perspective. Everything above you is going to look real good, and everything below won't. Your specific location on the perspective ladder is just yours.
This is such an extreme example. A smart and successful businessman may not date a booby bimbo, but he has at his disposal a number of socially and occupationally-lower ranked women he could choose from, including a pretty kindergarten teacher, a pretty ballet dancer, a pretty social worker, or even an unemployed woman who he will let stay at home to raise his kids. Just because a man doesn't want to date a hooker doesn't mean he's going to seek out a woman with a successful professional career either. Above all else, men care about a woman's youth and beauty. Whether that woman is a first-grade teacher earning $35K a year with a 120 IQ or a CEO earning $900K per year with a 160 IQ is immaterial.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
You're, again, missing the forest for your tree. It's all pretty inter-related. To start, you will not have that much money, fame, or game to reach beyond your station. None of us will. Any way, most people are average looking- to state the obvious. And it should also be noted that looks are highly dependent on health and wealth. Cinderella stories have little to with reality. You will date within your class and I'll go as far as to say that this will not change with a meager 50-75-100-120k salary and all the game in the world. Your game will work for the women in your class, nothing more. But, sure, physical beauty will play a role. And it plays a role for both genders.
I still don't understand what that means..."date within your class." This is not India. We don't have a caste system. For the most part, anyone with a college degree is part of the same "class." Men don't aspire to date princesses or even George Bush's daughters. Most guys would rather date a heart-busting hottie who finished bottom of her class from Cal Northridge who's the daughter of a mechanic and a waitress than a plain jane who is a direct descendant of the Tutors and has been educated in New England's finest boarding schools.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
For example, I'll do a quick google search for "wedding day" and I bet they will all be on the same level looks-wise...
Do you call this "scientific?" Random Google searches for wedding pictures? That's the pot calling the kettle black. We have no idea what any of these men do for a living. That's a big part of the equation, don't you think? It could very well be the case that the more physically attractive men are doctors and the more unattractive guys are kindergarden teachers. Plus, anybody could go on Google and find counterexamples. Like this one, for instance.




Hmm...she's a young, beautiful model and actress. Is this the best she could do looks-wise? Perhaps the fact that he's the head of surgery at a major hospital helped him out a bit. You think?
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Old 10-02-2010, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 4,999,030 times
Reputation: 7588
Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneDC View Post
The impression I'm getting from this thread is that I'm ****ed since I'm not the most attractive guy (although I don't think I'm ugly) nor am I a power player (and frankly my career aspirations don't translate to six figure income, at least not for a long-ass while).

The impression you should be getting is that you need to focus ON YOURSELF with regard to working hard and succeeding in life academically, spiritually and socially.

Academically -- well, it's a no-brainer for all that's a funny way of putting it.

Spiritually -- people grow and evolve as they age and learn and experience.

Socially -- the ONE thing Banjo keeps conveniently leaving out is this:

It won't last.


Men and women alike DO respond to beauty, status, charm; and they do so in myriad ways which are undeniable. I've said before in these forums that women DO often respond to the tactics and techniques of PUA's.

But while those tactics (a thing I NEVER denied) WILL get you laid, you'll end up facing eventualities.


- It's nice getting laid; but women who respond to "tactics" from you will be looking for "tactics" all along. The "game" will never end for you because you'll constantly have to either endure short relationships OR you'll be perpetually one-upping this game. You got in with a smooth line you read somewhere, a recommendation some bloke gave you for a "sure pick-up" -- but where do you go from there? And did this chick dig YOU, or the line? Riddle me this, Batman...


- Women with any degree of self-respect will eventually... not right away, but eventually... take a look at the relationship and realize they're being treated in a way which is damaging to them. You ever heard the old chestnut for every hot woman out there, there's a guy who's sick of her $#!+ ? You ever heard that? It means the tricks of a quick game don't last, and that goes for men and women alike.


- Women who regularly fall for this stuff are the same women who always cried on the shoulders of guys like you about their mean, awful boyfriends, weeping into your arms... and then telling you how wonderful you are as they leave, before stopping off to boff Mr. Awful's brains out on her drive home. They're objects for him and they're users of guys who aren't the type to take advantage. Do you want one of those for a mate? After fifty times of you thinking "I'm her friend and I care about her but she keeps sleeping with jerks" do you still actually respect her? Will you respect her in a month? Six months? A year?


Why do you think people divorce at all? It's because they're initially drawn to something, or several things, and then once they actually live together and interact, either things work out or they do NOT -- and dating is exactly the same, EXACTLY the same except nowhere near as expensive. You'll get with someone and either things will stay good or they will fail to work out as you learn more about not only her, but about yourself. And eventually you'll get with someone else, and that will be the case AGAIN, the difference being that as time goes on you'll have to learn less and less about yourself -- but you'll always have to learn about others. Always.


By pursuing your goals diligently, you're building your own self-respect in a very real, meaningful, tangible way -- even without it pulling in tons of money.

And once you respect yourself, LIKE yourself, women will be attracted to that, and they'll know about it because it will SHOW externally, you'll behave with real confidence because you'll know who you are.

There are no "sure answers and methods"; each woman you meet will have her own personality and mannerisms, whether she's a feather-headed imbecile with a massive rack or she's a school marm with cobwebs under her skirt, or a perfectly normal, capable woman with a brain in her skull and pretty good looks as far as you can tell. You only have TWO questions you need to ask:

- Who do you want to be in life? This can be a multi-faceted and potentially complicated question, I'll admit.

- What do you want out of life? This can be many things rather than a single-choice question.

Figure those out (they'll even change along the way) and pursue them. Everything else, and I mean everything, is just a step along the way.


As for all this PUA nonsense being argued about...

Remember, it works, really WORKS -- short-term on confident and capable women just as certain things work short-term on confident and capable men; NO ONE is above manipulation in toto; and it works repeatedly on weaker women and men -- repeatedly. That means over and over... which does NOT suggest anything even remotely resembling a permanent relationship... which suggests quantity rather than quality.

With whom do these guys end up? Do they marry eventually? What kind of woman would a PUA ever actually marry?

Would it be a woman who was BETTER than the endless line of women who actually bought into his game? What kind of woman was it who actually earned his respect?

Methinks a woman on whom all that BS didn't work.

The alternative... well, that alternative is to run around trying to live a near-myth, that of the aging fellow who is always young, always virile, always scoring and always on the prowl. In that myth nobody actually gets older, do they? And let me tell you, nobody STAYS married to that kind of BS and maltreatment. One day either she strays to another PUA or she obtains some dignity and leaves... and he's "free" to go on the prowl once more, still convincing himself he's a dangerous jungle cat, just toooooo smooooooth for you, bayyyy-by...

You won't always be a kid and you won't always be young. Put your faith in YOURSELF, work hard for YOUR MIND and TAKE CARE of your BODY as best you can -- and all that other stuff will pretty much fall into place, I PROMISE you.

And go follow my FIRST advice for that girl you never talked to: Walk up and say something about the class and introduce yourself. If she has the brain you say, she'll be impressed that you have the confidence to say hello to a beautiful woman and she'll be impressed that you respect her thoughts and opinions in class, and that will be your foot in the door, whether it works out or not.

What the hell are you doing still sitting there reading this? Didn't I tell you to GO TALK TO HER?!? GO! You going to waste time with this place, or LIVE LIFE? You going to lose all respect for humanity because someone is telling you how worthless people are? No wonder you're discouraged! That is one bleak picture!

Now get up off your arse and GO OUT THERE! You can't live life from that seat you're polishing with your butt, can you?
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Old 10-02-2010, 11:49 AM
 
3,261 posts, read 5,291,117 times
Reputation: 3986
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
The impression you should be getting is that you need to focus ON YOURSELF with regard to working hard and succeeding in life academically, spiritually and socially.

......


Now get up off your arse and GO OUT THERE! You can't live life from that seat you're polishing with your butt, can you?
I wish I could have repped you for that post.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!
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Old 10-02-2010, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Crooklyn, New York
31,924 posts, read 34,428,353 times
Reputation: 14996
Quote:
Originally Posted by robee70 View Post
Mark my words, in 10-20 years these guys will be suffering from prostate problems, hair loss and a diminishing sex drive, but will do so all alone. They'll be trying to meet their needs with random girls (if they're lucky) or staring nostalgically at their little black book, whose pages will be stuck together from jerking off to days gone by.
One word: projection.

A 40 year old man has better dating options than a 40 year old woman, period. A 40 year old, well-educated, successful man with game has better dating options than 97% of men on the planet earth. It is well-known that a man's status and income rises with age, and hence, his attractiveness to women.

A woman's dating options generally decrease as she ages out of attractiveness and fertility.

Re Urban Sasquatch and other posters. I don't know where everyone is getting this emphasis on "getting laid." I know that I did not say anything about that. What I did say was that the same tools used to attract a woman for a sexual fling are the same tools used to attract a woman for marriage. This is undeniable. It's just like a woman can use her looks to snag a handsome, charming, and successful husband or she could use them to have a one-night stand. In both cases, the men are with her because they are attracted to something, namely, her beauty.

The idea that "game only works on weak and stupid women" is a stupid argument. "Game" doesn't mean ripping a woman's confidence to shreds and then hypnotizing her to perform all sorts of lurid acts. It means giving women a pattern of unpredictable, challenging behavior that excites them. A woman wants to be challenged. Some women want to be challenged more than others, however, and it is your job to determine how much of a challenge you want to make yourself. On the one extreme, there are women who want the challenge of capturing the heart of a man who disrespects her, cheats on her, and generally treats her badly. On the other, there are women who simply want a man to play a little hard to get, not follow her around like a puppy down, and tease her a bit.

Last edited by BajanYankee; 10-02-2010 at 12:22 PM..
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