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This is complete manipulation. He shook her emotional foundation by implying that she was the help; he essentially placed himself on a level above her own. She then follows him across the room to emphatically make the point that she's above serving Coronas. Somebody ring the alarm!
You have something in commen allready, your in the same class. Use that to your advantage. If she has made comments that she likes talk to her about those. Find out what she thinks about specific areas and listen to her. As you listen make comments on what she is saying, lose youself in the conversation.
Here is something that I tried with a coworker once. This was a woman that was very beautifull and very un approachable. She also happened to work in the Exec Vice Presidents office. I noticed at lunch time in our cafeteria she was assembling a salad at the salad bar. I walked up to her and mentioned that so the salads was how she did it. She wanted to know what I was talking about and I told her that she seemed to be in amazing shape. ( a compliment) and that I was thinking about changing my diet to improve my body. I asked her for any tips on porsion size, and other things to keep the salads from getting less than boring. Over the next few days we would talk about weight loss and getting in shape. She asked me what my exercise plan was. She then invited me to meet her at her gym and we would work on that. Over a few month period that progressed to getting an invite to stop by her place. And that is a story for another forum. LOL
So how did it go, Hurricane? You said you would ask her today. I hope it went well and she responded positively.
Wow, you got a lot of advice here! As a girl I will tell you that I would respond positively to urban Sasquatch's approach, but most likely see through bajanYankees approach. That's just me, and different girls will respond differently to different approaches. Good luck!
My point is there's a lot more to it than just walking up to someone and talking at them out of the blue. How you say it is far more important than what you actually say, within reason.
Just pretend she's not stunningly beautiful and talk to her like you would anyone else. Sounds overly simple, but really, give it a try. So long as you're aren't looking at her like a bucket of fried chicken after fasting for 40 days, you should be able to strike up some small talk with her.
Love it and great advice. A girl like that wants to be valued for her mind.
Listen, you've got half a camp telling you how EASY this is and half a camp telling you how difficult it is and all these reasons why...
I want you to think about this, sit and seriously think about what I'm going to tell you:
You say she's gorgeous, stunningly gorgeous, and appears to be intelligent as well.
That means A) she'll see straight through any "lines" or "techniques" and B) she probably gets lines and techniques all the time so she's probably sick of them, absolutely sick to death of them.
She's not a goddess, she's a WOMAN.
She's not superhuman, she's an ordinary WOMAN who happens to be very pretty, and is probably really tired of being approached because she's pretty.
She won't hurt you; the worst she can possibly do is reject you, in which case you move on with your life and forget about her. Are you paying attention here? The absolute WORST she can possibly do to you, unless it turns out she's both a psychopath and a secret Kung-Fu master who will pluck one eye from your skull ala Pai Mei, is to simply say she's not interested.
Do you fear she can beat you up? Do you think she seems EVIL, so that she won't just say no, but actually flay the skin from you before leaving your unleavened carcass in the sun to dry as it feeds the maggots?
No? So she's not mean and she's not evil in its purest form.
You indicated that she says intelligent things in class. ASK her about those things, if they're actually that intelligent, whether you agree or disagree. You're both taking the class, bring up stuff that interests you about the class.
I'm telling you, she's NOTHING more than a human being who's going to school trying to improve herself, no matter what she looks like. She's HUMAN and has FEELINGS and THOUGHTS and INTERESTS. The absolute best thing you can do is relax, stop drooling and talk to her as though you UNDERSTAND that she has a brain in her head. Not "believe" she has a brain -- understand that she has a brain.
Keep your eyes above the neckline, introduce yourself like you're sporting a pair, tell her your name, tell her you've taken note of the things she's said in class and TELL her (don't ask permission) you'd like to get some coffee with her and talk some more.
If you need help getting the words out, then say it this way:
"I'd really like to get some coffee with you and talk some more."
If she says yes, GREAT; if she says no, so what? Life really will go on, even with small disappointments.
By the way, for future reference, ignore the It's really HARD crowd because they'll talk themselves and you OUT of everything you want in life, and ignore the It's all Easy crowd because half of them are fakers and the other half say it's easy without ever telling you WHY it's easy.
Self-mastery -- and that's precisely what this is, you need to master YOURSELF -- is a learning process, and learning processes aren't always easy.
Fantastic advice! OP- don't ask her to get coffee, let it happen naturally AFTER. Focus on the class and what she thinks. Form a study group and ask her to join. You have to have something to offer other than wanting her because she is pretty.
I'd probably lead in with a "Let me ask you something..."
For example...
Me: Hey, lemme ask you something...
Cute Chick: Yeah...
Me: Which do you think is more painful? This last lecture or sliding down a razor blade sliding board into a pool of alcohol?
Cute Chick: [squeals then chuckles] I don't know! I might have to think about that one [giggles]
Me: Why don't you think about it over lunch? It's not good to think on an empty stomach. C'mon, let's grab a bite.
I didn't completely understand this in college, but a woman wants to be led by a more powerful man. Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise. Subtle commands like, "Come with me" or "Put that down" trigger powerful submissive responses in women, the same way cleavage and cute faces trigger powerful responses in men. You don't have to order a chick around or be mean to her, but you want to get in the habit of getting her to do things on your terms. So, I would not say...
"Hey, are you free? How about lunch?"
Instead, I'd say
"Damn, I'm hungry. Let's hit the cafeteria."
It makes a world of difference in my experience.
Nope. "Squeals?" *Gags* This is a pickup routine and she will see right through it if she is smart. The best method is to get on common ground. Like studying for a class, or forming a study group. Then once you have that, you have a safe place to get to know her. Getting coffee/lunch is no longer a date- it's something you do on the way to study group. It takes more time than a simple, funny line, and then hitting her with a forceful "let's go to the cafeteria I'm famished." She probably will say, "have fun see you in class tomorrow."
I do think guys need to be self confident and not wimpy but don't ever insult a woman's intelligent by "being the strong one to lead her."
I think that's the hardest thing for me, like it's genuinely difficult for me to come off as a 'cool' jerk. I normally come off as simply a 'nice guy' and I think if I tried to come off as a 'cool jerk' I'd end up coming off as 'total douchenozzle.'
I like Urban's advice (yours is good too though), it doesn't require advanced psychological tactics
Personally I like Urbans advice too. The cool jerk may work for some girls but definitely not all. I think it mostly works for girls with self esteem issues. I would not put up with that kind of crap. What happens after you get to know someone? Suddenly you're not a jerk? Then you will come off as a phony.
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