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I don't get this leading and following thing in relationships.
Nobody is more qualified to lead my life than I am.
And I'm not qualified to lead someone else's life.
Work? Sure.
Kids? Sure.
Dogs? Sure.
Team sports? Sure.
But in a relationship dynamic, it sounds like someone just wants to have the upper hand so they can feel good about putting at least one other person down.
If you have to "lead" your spouse,
A. Step back and see if you actually married a grown up.
B. Step back and assess why you feel the need to have a subordinate in your romantic relationship. Probably insecurity.
This. I’m a grown ass woman, with no need to be “led” by my husband, nor him by me. It’s enough work keeping a passel of children in line; who has the energy to do that with an adult?
Really dominant women let the men make many of the decisions but make sure the man has their permission and consent. My wife was dominant and when she decided to cuckold me she had me find the men she used. off course she had final say.
i decided what to cook and where to vacation but the important decisions were hers and cucking me was a way to make me show ultimate submission
in my home I let my wife rule the roost. We lived by her rules. She was well equipped for it being an excellent mother. I backed her up when needed, if the girls were not agreeing with the brand of democracy being implemented I was there to emphasize who was in charge. We were really good at playing our respective roles and working together and we got a good result.
Really dominant women let the men make many of the decisions but make sure the man has their permission and consent. My wife was dominant and when she decided to cuckold me she had me find the men she used. off course she had final say.
i decided what to cook and where to vacation but the important decisions were hers and cucking me was a way to make me show ultimate submission
You enjoy your wife with other men? That's got to be a fun relationship!
i find asking women out,
setting up dates,
deciding on movies/reserving restaurants,
booking travel vacations,
paying bills, handling investments,
scheduling maintenance calls,
chauferring her around,
...
to be a chore.
its enuff work taking care of one baby (me); if, my partner doesnt know how to handle regular u.s.a. life situations like an adult i would burn out with a heart-attack before 50.
Submissive men are pathetic, I mean, scared of your wife? Seriously? I have never been scared of any women I have been with yet I have never felt the need to dominate a relationship but you better believe I will be freaking loud and nasty if we are not getting along or if she is trying to pull some BS.
I was in a long term relationship for 6 years and although she was not submissive, she was a more passive person, I often felt like I had to make all the decisions and it did not feel like a true partnership.
I have to say, some of the loudest arguments we had were actually very beneficial, they almost always drew her closer to me. A dude who is submissive and does not express himself will never get any respect, I feel sorry for these pansies.
some men arent the beat their chest and roar type.
i find it easier to lift someone up from the bottom; rather than, pull them up from the top.
i've been in relationships where she didnt know how to set-up her account on her new smart cellular tele-fone. or how to set h.d.m.i.-1 on the t.v. in order to watch cable. or how to connect to wi-fi on her laptop. it was always: you are the man. you are supposed to know. as if the female brain is incapable of tapping next a few times. its toxic.
some men arent the beat their chest and roar type.
i find it easier to lift someone up from the bottom; rather than, pull them up from the top.
i've been in relationships where she didnt know how to set-up her account on her new smart cellular tele-fone. or how to set h.d.m.i.-1 on the t.v. in order to watch cable. or how to connect to wi-fi on her laptop. it was always: you are the man. you are supposed to know. as if the female brain is incapable of tapping next a few times. its toxic.
i'm chuckling at the responses that imply men who are passive are sissies. some men are just too lazy to waste energy on unimportant decisions.
That's true but when dating a woman may see this as him being passive. it depends on what a particular woman is looking for in a man. Most do want a man that can make quick decisions (right or wrong) and lead the relationship for the most part. This doesn't mean controlling her schedule.
For example me and a lady friend decided to get a bite to eat at the spur of moment, it felt like we were going on a date, and she asked me a simple question: "do you want to go to restaurant A or B?"
I immediately thought "she's giving me two choices? why those two places?"
But I knew what she was really doing. She was testing me - can I make decisions and take care of the details of going on a dinner date? Or was I going to defer to her and ask "which one do you like" and be a passive pleaser type?
So I did not ask her which one she liked. I knew it was a test. I made a quick decision and said "let's go to A, I like the salads there". She accepted immediately and I could see she her thinking to herself that I could take care of details on a date, like where to go, where to sit, etc. Which is what most woman want from a man.
Imho, a woman wants a man to supply her what she wants, income, place to live, children, car. If she can get all that and not have to work, great. She might even get 2 men working for her, a divorced husband to supply a house, car, child support, and then a second husband to do all the other stuff she needs done. But in general, she wants to be numero uno in the house.
I never quite got this until the tv show, "Wife Swap". The families in the show got to live for a week under a new boss. And this is the way most of America is today. In most couples, the woman is in charge. I think this is why bowling and golf are dying off.
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