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Old 09-18-2010, 10:05 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 3,053,414 times
Reputation: 1082

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I'm not a big fan of dating. I'll admit, I'd rather just skip all the awkward getting to know you dates and just be in the comfortable and intimate stages of a relationship.

But alas, right now I am dating, and there's not much I can do about it . And of course, everyone gives me different advice. One friend says I should date as much as I can, and date multiple guys at once so I don't focus on just one. Another says I should just get back with my ex, and another says I should just wait till I meet someone I'm really excited about.

Of course, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Anyone else dating who feels kind of burnt out? What do you do to stay interested? And how long should you date someone before you know that they're not right for you?

I'm dating someone now and I don't know if I'm getting irritated with him or the whole concept of dating in general. I think it may be both.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:11 PM
 
12,120 posts, read 30,291,522 times
Reputation: 3823
Default i'm in a very bad mood

lately and i don't mean to be hurtful but IMO it's just not worth it because it's just a waste of time investing in a situation that won't work out anyway

but that's just me talking

bravo to you for at least being optimistic and seeking advice from your friends on what to do

to me all dating is is a stringent test where you put yourself at the mercy of someone else, surrender all your control and power to someone who will be
"grading" you and tell you if you pass or fail
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:23 PM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,286,821 times
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Yes, the frustrations of dating. Some people enjoy it others don't. It's a game, plain and simple. You have to be somewhat good at playing it. Say and do the rights things and you progress to the next check point. If you don't say the right things or have the right moves you lose and you have to go back to the starting point. And that is where dating becomes a choir.

It sounds like you prolly would be better off just being friends with several different guys, hanging out and then deciding what you. That way you avoid the dating rat race. It's a more natural way.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:39 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 3,053,414 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
Yes, the frustrations of dating. Some people enjoy it others don't. It's a game, plain and simple. You have to be somewhat good at playing it. Say and do the rights things and you progress to the next check point. If you don't say the right things or have the right moves you lose and you have to go back to the starting point. And that is where dating becomes a choir.

It sounds like you prolly would be better off just being friends with several different guys, hanging out and then deciding what you. That way you avoid the dating rat race. It's a more natural way.
Yes, I agree. I think you're totally right, and honestly its what I was planning on doing in the beginning but I felt pressured. Looking back on my past relationships most of them started off as friends. Things progressed to the next level after I already knew them very well and I had solid feelings for them. Dating to me just seems so contrived. I'm not one to play games, and I don't like being fake. I am who I am.

This is probably the best advice I've gotten, thank you. I think I'm going to tell the guy I'm seeing that I don't want to date, but we can be friends and see what happens. He can call me, not call me. Hang out, not hang out. Whatever. I just don't like feeling like someone is trying to pick me apart or categorize me, and that's what I'm feeling.

No more dating. Problem solved.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:43 PM
 
881 posts, read 1,026,458 times
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I know, me too, I absolutly completely lost in this whole area... I had been out of the loop for so long that the dating and male/female stuff has changed SOOOOO much it is crazy!
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:43 PM
 
5,148 posts, read 4,751,614 times
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The best advice I ever got was from a friend, early this year.

"Stop worrying about dating and just worry about living your life." Honestly, I have had the best year, personally, I've had in a LONG time. Just have had a lot of fun this year. Thank you to all my friends.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:54 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 3,053,414 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misswee View Post
I know, me too, I absolutly completely lost in this whole area... I had been out of the loop for so long that the dating and male/female stuff has changed SOOOOO much it is crazy!
You and me both. I feel like I got thrown into a game and I have absolutely no idea what the rules are .

But one thing I have noticed is that putting on a facade seems to come with the territory. I was trying to be open and honest with the guy I'm dating and I told him some of my flaws. I then asked him what some of his were, and do you know what he told me? That he's a nice guy, and he's too nice .... ummmm yaaaa that's not a flaw! Nice try buddy.

But that's it. No more.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:58 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 3,053,414 times
Reputation: 1082
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
The best advice I ever got was from a friend, early this year.

"Stop worrying about dating and just worry about living your life." Honestly, I have had the best year, personally, I've had in a LONG time. Just have had a lot of fun this year. Thank you to all my friends.
So true. Its funny how easily we can become preoccupied by something so petty.

I have my goals, I have places I still haven't traveled to. When I'm doing what I love, I feel free and happy. When I'm consumed by something small, it feels so limiting.
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:23 PM
 
6,145 posts, read 6,843,115 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
The best advice I ever got was from a friend, early this year.

"Stop worrying about dating and just worry about living your life." Honestly, I have had the best year, personally, I've had in a LONG time. Just have had a lot of fun this year. Thank you to all my friends.
This is so true.

I don't care for dating. I have stopped worrying about it and just focused on myself and my life, accepting the fact that I may never find someone. If I do, great. If not, that's okay. Now I am getting to know someone who's pretty great!
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:37 PM
Ep-
 
2,074 posts, read 3,824,941 times
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i hate dating too. i normally get bored with every girl i meet after around 3 weeks or befoire. i dunno if its me or i just havent met the right person before, or maybe i just hate dating that much.

lately ive been burnt out mostly and am just doing my own thing, hanging with friends/fam and am having much more fun.
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