Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm going to turn 20 this December and I'm still a virgin. I'm at college right now and I don't see how it's easy to get girls. I think I'm an 8+, 5"11, and average personality. I'm not very outgoing but still sociable.
I don't attend parties or drinking events because I can't tolerate alcohol (makes me sick). I've talked to girls before, but I haven't had any leads. I talk to them for a bit (we never really had anything in common) but they don't talk to me if I don't talk to them.
go learn to dance, preferable something like latin dancing, that girls love but most guys avoid. you don't have to say much, and if you look as good as you think you do, then you oughta do fine.
Quote:
I got rejected by three girls last year so I'm afraid to ask girls out anymore.
IMO your problem is that you only asked out 3 girls in a year, not that you were rejected by all 3.
Quote:
A lot of the strategies listed online don't work. For example, joining a club doesn't work since most people are not there to find partners. Most of the time, I find one girl I like out of about 20 girls.
that is insanely picky, especially for a dude with no personality who hits on 3 girls per year.
Quote:
I really don't know what to do anymore. I haven't been asked out by girls yet. That's the biggest problem. I don't know why I'm not attracting girls even though I seriously think I'm an 8.
good looking is only one quality. you also need to have balls, and you also need to have personality, among other things like having friends and a decent social life.
say you possess those qualities, then you'll likely be successful when you approach girls.
the idea that you're going to just sit there "looking like an 8" in your apartment, and that beautiful 1-in-20 that you want will come knock on your door to "ask you out" is delusional.
My suggestion would be not to come off as anything at all. Be yourself and if you get rejected then that is part of life you must accept. I think that quite often people in general are concerned about the way they will come off, what pick up line they will use and they consider their approach way too much. Just talk and treat everyone like a friend and if there is a connection or room for romance then it will evolve naturally, but nothing will ever come of you cornering people into relationships. No woman wants to be smothered before they even know who you are. Every girlfriend or even mutual lasting connection I have ever had has come from me and the other person meeting on mutual terms. For example, school or ANY social environment is going to be a clear gateway to get to know someone. Don't be afraid to take hold of your hobbies as well. God gives everyone hidden talents for a reason. For example, If you like playing music join a band and play some shows. If you like to write take classes in school and if you like to workout then join a gym. These are all places to be a social. It is my personal belief that we all already have the tools to make lasting connections and to have relationships grow naturally. However, it seems to me based on the title of your post though that you're more concerned about having sex ASAP than anything else. If you want to have sex so bad then I say attend one of these parties, wear a condom and have at it. At a drunk college party you can meet someone in about 4 seconds. But... in the end, when it's over you will be disappointed and so will she... and that's because you failed to build a connection in the first place. Take advantage of being young and enjoy college more than anything. I am 27, no girlfriend, single for a few years, and as you get older it gets harder to meet people. Trust me, I'd give anything to be back in college and to rewind about 5 years. Don't focus so much on being laid and focus more on your self worth and sense of character. A real man doesn't respect a woman who is easy. Therefore, don't expect a woman to respect a man who is easy either.
The easiest way to lose it is to forget about it. Make virginity the issue and that will be the issue. Don't try to get laid. Women can pick up the scent of desperation a mile away.
Also listen to your own advice not someone else' I've read in this post people saying take the shot gun approach which is keep trying until some girl finally says ok I will have sex with you. I've also read people saying wait until you're in love.
So let me ask you, do you want to be in love before you have sex? Do you just want to have sex for having sex sake? Are you desperate because you feel you have to have sex for some kind of validation? Exactly what is your motivation.
I'll tell you for me when I was your age it was something I felt I just had to do. I really felt it was the validation for me. Back then I believed that if I just had sex with one woman I would become this confident ladies man sleeping with women on a nightly basis. Well I finally did have sex by really lowering my standards. Was it amazing? No. Was it everything I thought it would be? No. Did I become this sex crazed ladies man? No. I was still me but I had had sex.
Granted over time I had sex with more women. Do I feel I was a run around sue? Nope. But I did learn that whether I had sex with someone or not didn't make or break my ability to talk to women. Some women will say yes others will say no. Be as picky as you choose to be and be ok with those results as they are of your own choosing. I had to learn to be ok with myself before anyone else would be ok with me.
Now I'm engaged, in love, and the sex is great but it isn't the end all be all of our relationship. So again, I ask that you do some introspection and find out the main reason you want to have sex and then be ok with that and don't let anyone else tell you different.
I'm going to turn 20 this December and I'm still a virgin. I'm at college right now and I don't see how it's easy to get girls. I think I'm an 8+, 5"11, and average personality. I'm not very outgoing but still sociable.
So, I'm a lil confused. Because you're 5'11" and have an average personality, this makes you an "8+"? You may think this about yourself but if you're only using your stature and your "average" personality then no, no one is going to be attracted because your lack of self esteem is evident. Take a good look in the mirror one day, ask yourself if you like the person looking back. Confidence in a man is a HUGE turn on for women.
I don't attend parties or drinking events because I can't tolerate alcohol (makes me sick). I've talked to girls before, but I haven't had any leads. I talk to them for a bit (we never really had anything in common) but they don't talk to me if I don't talk to them. I got rejected by three girls last year so I'm afraid to ask girls out anymore.
Rejection is just part of life but you can't let that dictacte the following year for you. Who cares what happened last year? The new year means new opportunities and new ways to work on yourself to build your confidence. Instead of dwelling on the past rejections, let it go. Be yourself. Believe me, women can SMELL fear and it's a huge turn off.
A lot of the strategies listed online don't work. For example, joining a club doesn't work since most people are not there to find partners. Most of the time, I find one girl I like out of about 20 girls. But it's usually difficult to approach her in the sense that: I don't know if she's single, and I don't really want to be her friend (the last 3 rejections were when we were "friends" and I find that kind of a waste of time).
"Strategies?" what is this a board game? No, there are NO strategies for getting a woman. It's called confidence, charm, good looks and personality. If you are confident in yourself the rest is secondary. You obviouly overanalyze the situation when you walk up on a group of women or A woman. You don't know anything about them until you say "Hello" and start talking. So basically from the above statement, you're just looking for a booty call. So, ask your guy friends about the trampiest women at college and focus your attentions on those women.
I really don't know what to do anymore. I haven't been asked out by girls yet. Why are you waiting to be asked out be women? They aren't mind readers babe.
That's the biggest problem. I don't know why I'm not attracting girls even though I seriously think I'm an 8. A lot of the stories I read online seem to be where the guy gets really lucky. He just meets a really horny girl. Well, I don't have that kind of luck. Stop reading these 'stories" online... LOL Geez... there not a book on the planet or story on the internet thats the miracle cure for getting laid. Be friendly, confident, charming and assertive.
Girls at my school seem really uptight and aren't very promiscuous... Well, I'm just very frustrated because I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe your opinion is that they are uptight but maybe they are actually there to get an education and not sleeping with every guy that comes along. Maybe your opinion of how a college aged woman is supposed to act is messed up. It's clear what's wrong. You have a very creepy feel even just online. It seems like you just want to get a piece of a$$ and that's going to come across stronger in person. If women are rejecting you left and right you need to take a good long look at yourself.
P.S: I've never had a relationship before.
It's fairly evident why. good luck though.. I'm sure you have something worthwhile to offer.
Seriously. Too many people think you have to be and "non" virgin in society. Bologna.
You need to build up your self confidence and walk in the room like you are someone.
Get a couple of guy friends to hang out with. Women think you are creepy if you are by yourself. They are a species that hang out in 3's and expect you to be the same. Loners are creepy. Remember that.
Dress nice, spell nice and for goodness sakes smile. I mean, put a smile on and make it stick. If some young lady looks your way just to see who you are and your eyes meet by the time you put that smile on she has already looked away. Put a smile on at all times. So when she makes eye contact she sees you smiling. When she sees you smiling she may smile back. Good sign.
Be confident and laugh and have fun. No fun being with some dud. You have to be crazy and have fun. I learned that over my years. Women like to be entertained.
There is a threat on here about a woman that said her "guy friend" doesn't have a back bone or he is just a "friend." Make sure you stand up for yourself. Things do matter to you and your response to things she says is NOT going to be, "Whatever you want to do."
I'm going to turn 20 this December and I'm still a virgin. I'm at college right now and I don't see how it's easy to get girls. I think I'm an 8+, 5"11, and average personality. I'm not very outgoing but still sociable.
I don't attend parties or drinking events because I can't tolerate alcohol (makes me sick). I've talked to girls before, but I haven't had any leads. I talk to them for a bit (we never really had anything in common) but they don't talk to me if I don't talk to them. I got rejected by three girls last year so I'm afraid to ask girls out anymore.
A lot of the strategies listed online don't work. For example, joining a club doesn't work since most people are not there to find partners. Most of the time, I find one girl I like out of about 20 girls. But it's usually difficult to approach her in the sense that: I don't know if she's single, and I don't really want to be her friend (the last 3 rejections were when we were "friends" and I find that kind of a waste of time).
I really don't know what to do anymore. I haven't been asked out by girls yet. That's the biggest problem. I don't know why I'm not attracting girls even though I seriously think I'm an 8. A lot of the stories I read online seem to be where the guy gets really lucky. He just meets a really horny girl. Well, I don't have that kind of luck.
Girls at my school seem really uptight and aren't very promiscuous... Well, I'm just very frustrated because I don't know what's wrong with me.
P.S: I've never had a relationship before.
So basically, you're only 19 years old?? What is your rush???
Please do yourself a favor and stop believing there is something "wrong" with you - there's not!
Focus on school and staying physically active. As you grow, mature and get more comfortable in your own skin, you'll meet more and more women until the right one comes along
Remember, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A VIRGIN AT 19!!
My high school and college years were a clusterpuck when it came to relationships. If anything could go wrong it did and actually I did land some nice, attractive gals but something always happened, always some circumstance, often out of my control. But I am sure I wasn't perfect either.
I remember learning in college that only 40% of our communication is verbal, the rest non verbal. I not only ignored non verbal cues tossed in my direction but put no thought into cues I sent out. So I started digging into it thinking there has to be some way to figure all this out. In the end the best thing that helped me was Tracey Cox's books, Superflirt, Superdate and so on.
Reading that was a major turning point, in all relationships because I began to consider what I was putting out there but also what was coming back to me. It's not a hard language to learn as there are only so many non verbal cues a human can demonstrate. Women are a bit more complex and subtle than men, but it's actually easy to read their mind once you know what to look for.
I think if you can master non verbal communication you'll go a lot further along. Once I did I went from a major failure rate to solid, without fail success.
The other issue to consider is that women at that age think and act like the world revolves around them. And it does in a way. They are at their prime physical fitness and unblemished beauty. They are in high demand and they know it and play that card. They don't need to seek out anyone as business comes to them.
Unfortunately I had blinders on at that age and never considered older women. Big mistake. Older women realize it's actually quite competitive out there and they have a different, typically(not always) more mature mindset and are probably more interesting as people. And in terms of sexual experience much more satisfying than an unenthusiastic college coed that doesn't know what she is doing.
So I'd get outside of your age group and aim a bit higher.
Lastly, you've got to be interesting. Personally I think you have to have something that sets you apart from the usual crowd. If you partake in all the usual stuff you blend right in with the rest of the bozos.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
