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This thread is about loneliness as in feeling FRIENDLESS not about being single or without a partner -type of loneliness. I mean feeling like people just do not care. Why is life in modern-day America like this? Why are people in general only concerned with themselves (or their job or career) and don't seem to be that devoted to social relationships? Of course when I was in grade school/High school? college it was a lot easier to meet like minded people. Now it seems like all my friends have left me behind. Is this just typical of life in the 21st century as we know it, or has technology changed the face of social communication (i.e. texting/ Facebooking/ communication with other techie do dads which I currently do not own.) All I own is an Ipod, a laptop and a desktop. My cell phone is a vintage 2008 verizon model which does not support text messaging because it was not in the plan I subscibed to. I do have a facebook page however and communicate with a few people but don't spend a whole lot of time there.
What is my point exactly? It is more like a question. Why are people in this country in 21st c so fragmented and disconnected to the point that they just "do not have time" for you anymore. I'm starting to think, unless something turns around and we get rid of all this technology BS, we better start enjoying out own company. I do wonder from time to time if other nations outside the US are as lonely as America. Sometimes I spend time on a website called "Happier Abroad: Your Guide to Life and Love Outside America" (I will provide the url in a minute) Basically the founder is an expatriate who talks about what a lonely country this is and how different other countries are socially (particularly the "collectivist" societies (ie Mexico) and not the "individualistic" societies (like the USA, maybe Canada.) The website is geared toward single men in America apparently looking to date, but I visit there because the stuff the founder says is so true and I sometimes join in the forums.
I know I am beginning to sound like Bill Daughterive (the lonely guy on King of the Hill) but I kinda feel his pain...The website I am talking about is www.happierabroad.com. Are other countries a lot less socially dysfunctional as the author-expatriate says? There's also another book on the subject, called "The Lonely American" I don't remember who the author is, it came out in 2004, sounds interesting, but it might depress me however.
I also think we need to get back as a social society again and limit our use of electronics to communicate. There are way too many people that are socially awkward because they've never learned how to talk to or hang out with people.
Instead of people going to other countries that haven't lost their art of socializing, Americans should start banding together and start social groups in each State for people that want to seek out friends to talk and get together with.
I also think we need to get back as a social society again and limit our use of electronics to communicate. There are way too many people that are socially awkward because they've never learned how to talk to or hang out with people.
Instead of people going to other countries that haven't lost their art of socializing, Americans should start banding together and start social groups in each State for people that want to seek out friends to talk and get together with.
Tried to rep you.
Good post.
I see people way way to engaged with the ipods/blackberries/iphones etc etc.
Some people can't just be still, or engage with people right in front of them.
It's always the f ing electronic leashes people can't seem to break away from.
I see people way way to engaged with the ipods/blackberries/iphones etc etc.
Some people can't just be still, or engage with people right in front of them.
It's always the f ing electronic leashes people can't seem to break away from.
I used to pick up my daughter from high school so that would give us time for just the two of us to talk and I'd see girls mostly walking home with another girl BUT talking on the phone! I told my daughter NEVER do that since there's a live person to talk to beside them. And I could tell it wasn't their parents they were talking to but other friends. Rude in my book.
Also people that are constantly on the phone while shopping, etc. WTF! Hang up that damn phone and get in the now, the present and talk to people, complete strangers about anything.
We're isolating ourselves from the world because of electronics.
- communal living - multiple generations live in the same house. It's endearing on one hand, but hard on the other. Would Americans abolish nursing homes, or are nursing homes too convenient?
- small dwellings. Weddings, birthday parties, and funerals happen in 1-bedroom apartments. Can Americans stand that? Also, 1-2 people in 2,000 sq ft or 4-5 people in 3-4,000 sq feet are unheard of. 4 people live on under 1,000 sq ft. Will Americans be willing to do that?
- the beauty of social society means disappearing of privacy and boundaries. Everyone knows what you are and what you have. Absense of privacy means more trust and ease with each other. Will Americans be willing to forgo their beloved privacy rights?
- communal living - multiple generations live in the same house. It's endearing on one hand, but hard on the other. Would Americans abolish nursing homes, or are nursing homes too convenient?
- small dwellings. Weddings, birthday parties, and funerals happen in 1-bedroom apartments. Can Americans stand that? Also, 1-2 people in 2,000 sq ft or 4-5 people in 3-4,000 sq feet are unheard of. 4 people live on under 1,000 sq ft. Will Americans be willing to do that?
- the beauty of social society means disappearing of privacy and boundaries. Everyone knows what you are and what you have. Absense of privacy means more trust and ease with each other. Will Americans be willing to forgo their beloved privacy rights?
Eh, we're getting BOTH short ends of the stick! Ain't life grand?! Particularly for you and me... Feels like coming full circle for effing nothing!
Smoky_Topaz - I know what you mean. Sometimes, I have felt lonely and it's a great fear - I do love to read and sometimes I don't mind being by myself but the companionship of other people is important and for those people to live in the now and not be texting away when they are with you.
Sometimes, it's society and its demands that won't let us leave our devices behind. I think a lot of people hide behind their texting, their e-mailing b/c they are afraid of true contact. Maybe I'm wrong but we're so judgmental today - weight, overall appearance, what they wear, etc. etc. - I mean we're all people and we're here for a reason so let's make this world a little better.
You bring up really good points. You are not alone. I personally dislike the stuff on Facebook where people are graded on their looks and a fake page put up for them - in my day, we had Slambooks and they were equally hurtful. I ended up going to a different school and there was none of that there.
I agree with the comments regarding the various technology 'we' are carrying around with us. I will add that, at least where I am, a lot of time is spent in metal, glass, and plastic boxes, i.e. our cars. One of the things I do at the stoplight is look around. I'm amazed how many people just stare straight ahead.
[we've forgotten how to "look around"]
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Particularly for you and me... Feels like coming full circle for effing nothing!
Lack of real socializing
