Going to Therapy due to a Failed Relationship?

[NC~Mom]

Originally Posted by malamute

I think volunteering is the best suggestion. Self-pity happens when you become to isolated and absorbed with yourself and your problems. If the OP gets out and volunteers, helps people with real problems, the loss of a boyfriend will seem pretty trivial compared with what other people go through.

Exactly...I'm not a fan of therapy except in the most extreme cases...therapists just tell you what you can already figure out for yourself.
Make yourself busy and get to know yourself before diving into another relationship.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Naomi Manischewitz

I am a special education teacher. I spend most of my weekend continuing work for that, as well as my evenings. I am doing a volunteer lake cleaning tomorrow to meet people. I have gone to temple events and everything. My only real friend is this 50 year old guy from work who hangs out with me at my house once in awhile to do laundry with me LOL. I do plenty to help people, but on the weekend, I really would rather do things I enjoy. I know that probably sounds vapid, but I already put in EXTRA hours of work in for my special needs students.

Yeah, if you're already in the helping profession it's going to be hard to go out and do more of it in your spare time. Still, volunteer groups are one of the quickest ways to meet people and make friends, especially if you stick with a cause you enjoy.

It takes a long while to adjust to living in a new city. There's probably nothing wrong with you that requires therapy. You just need to keep putting yourself in places where you can build a new network of people around you.

[calicali01]

Originally Posted by Naomi Manischewitz

So last time I was here I told you guys I relocated to San Diego and was just doing the solo thing. Everything was going well until I started developing feelings towards someone at work (I know I know). Well got rejected by him today despite all the mixed signals he had given me. I decided to go out tonight to a party to meet people in the area. Ended up talking to a nice girl and exchanged numbers. Didn't meet really anyone else. Parties tend to make me freeze up because I get nervous in large groups. Anyway, on the way back home I started crying hysterically in the car thinking about my ex boyfriend who I haven't seen in maybe 8 months.

Now I am super stressed at work and still not settled at home here. My only friends are at work and my weekends are never long enough.

Should I go to therapy? I don't even know where to start with sharing all my problems

The best therapy is a close friend/family member to talk too.... If you don't have any of that just toughen up and take it on the chin...

[rizziot]

I used to think that couples counseling was for wimps and all I needed was my friends as well. Sometimes (Calicali01) you need to talk about issues that you are not comfortable with discussing in and amongst your family and friends. In my case I didn't want to paint a dark picture of my relationship and significant other so that in the event things worked out they still respected that person. Moderator cut: recommendation not allowed We saw a few in the first few months trying it out and ended up seeing her as she was the easiest (and fun) to talk too.

DO THE COUNSELING, I never knew I could be this happy and have found a new level of relationship once I had gotten over my 'baggage' and she saw a few of our 'collision points' from my perspective. Put it this way, were still together .