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Old 09-24-2010, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Omaha, NE
143 posts, read 258,322 times
Reputation: 74

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My spouse and I are constantly having the same argument....well not really an argument but 'tension' over chores. I know it seems silly but according to this it's more common than I knew.

[SIZE=3]http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39267764/ns/today-relationships/[/SIZE]

Just like the article says, I feel I do everything and he feels he does everything....
How do you guys resolve this issue?
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,589 posts, read 2,683,057 times
Reputation: 2157
We don't fight about it but if we did, I'd probably put a written agreement in place. A contract of sorts.

Or maybe hire outside help to do it for us.

What I would NOT do, is to continue doing more than my fair share while complaining about it and feeling resentment over it. That can't go on for very long before it kills all the good feelings between you and your spouse. It's not a good thing to let go unresolved.
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Old 09-24-2010, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,172 posts, read 20,788,602 times
Reputation: 19869
I would recommend you either discuss who is going to do which chores so there isn't any doubt, or perhaps come up with a schedule. One week you got it, next week he's got it.
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Old 09-24-2010, 04:42 PM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,007,888 times
Reputation: 20090
I just make him do everything. Problem solved.

And when he complains about having to do it all, I just say "you're right." Hearing me admit he's right distracts him and he forgets what his argument was.
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Old 09-24-2010, 04:43 PM
 
Location: southwest TN
8,568 posts, read 18,116,372 times
Reputation: 16707
Boodha is right on. Feeling that your partner isn't meeting you nearly half way (40/60; 60/40) is going to create resentment. Resentment kills relationships. Talk to him. Explain how you feel to him. Then decide to either accept that he is the way he is or it will eat at you and end the relationship.

Communication is the key. My s/o and I worked it all out. I stay at home to take care of him and the house. That's my contribution to our relationship. However, he does an awful lot around here. He pitches in wherever he sees the need whether it's dishes, meals, vacuuming, etc. The point is, it's my responsibility BY AGREEMENT.
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Old 09-24-2010, 04:44 PM
 
93 posts, read 169,043 times
Reputation: 74
I'm single, so I tell myself I need to do chores then I go watch TV.
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Old 09-24-2010, 05:20 PM
 
2,719 posts, read 5,360,634 times
Reputation: 6257
I'm pretty lucky. I clean the apartment: vacuum, make dinner, do the food shopping and clean the litterbox. He does the laundry, writes out checks for the bills, takes the garbage and recyclables down, and buys all the other crap that's not food: TP, shampoo, dish soap...

We take turns doing dishes and feeding the cat. Other than that, there's not much else to do. Thankfully he's very organized and never leaves clothes or crap all over the place.
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Old 09-24-2010, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Ohio
751 posts, read 1,674,327 times
Reputation: 668
Quote:
Originally Posted by xo.stevers.xo View Post
My spouse and I are constantly having the same argument....well not really an argument but 'tension' over chores. I know it seems silly but according to this it's more common than I knew.

[SIZE=3]http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39267764/ns/today-relationships/[/SIZE]

Just like the article says, I feel I do everything and he feels he does everything....
How do you guys resolve this issue?

My b/f and I don't argue about chores to be done around our home.We just do them. We tend to find something more important then chores to disagree on.
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Old 09-25-2010, 12:35 AM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,974 posts, read 33,967,745 times
Reputation: 10491
We dont fight about anything, but she kind of gets upset with me if/when I dont notice things. I just tell her that I dont have a "woman's eye" for those types of things. Some things I dont even notice until she points them out to me. I mean I REALLY dont notice them.
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Old 09-25-2010, 01:58 AM
 
Location: Heading Northwest In Nevada
8,957 posts, read 20,382,577 times
Reputation: 5654
We don't fight/argue over chores.......I do most of the cooking and it doesn't bother me to load/run/unload the dishwasher, do the laundry (including stripping the bed), iron a few clothes if necessary, do some dusting, water the plants and vaccum the floors. She mops the tile floors, cleans the bathrooms and also dusts. We are an older (early 60's) couple that have no problems with sharing chores!
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