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Well, you know we love classifications and billing codes, Robee.
You probably know how I feel about them. I think they DO have value, when they are warranted and sometimes they are. They become meaningless when they are loosely tossed around and the net cast so wide.
You know who the biggest abusers are? Sam Vaknin's groupies!
Some years ago when I was going through my own crap, discoveries, thoughts, and diagnoses I was a member of one of Vaknin's forums. Only patting on the back and "support" was offered there. Anybody who dared question Vaknin or dared suggest some things may be due to the participants' own problems was a persona non grata. As you can imagine, I was banned forever. I couldn't even read the forum anymore! Mind you, I wasn't rude and wasn't insulting anybody. I just was going against the agenda at times as I often do. Now, shutting up people who don't necessarily sing in your choir IS abuse! And you (them) pretend to defend the abused...?! Gimme a friggin' break!
As far as Vaknin, he may be a malignant narcissist himself and there's some good insight in his book, but let's not forget philanthropy is not exactly one of the traits of a hard-core NPD...
I have to agree. Some yrs. ago I was in a similar situation and stumbled across his forum. At that time it was a rather new concept so there wasnt alot of info on npd. I initially found his site helpful but it soon it seemed as every little indescretion was a form of abuse which to me trivialized the true hell of dealing with a real narcissitic relationship. There is much more information and help on the subject now then just Vaknin.
Something about him was irritating from the moment I started listening, I can't put my finger on precisely what it was, although I did listen to both videos.
Two points I agree with completely and can relate to were that some NPDs will use the ignore tactic. They use it consistantly not occasionally as a means of abuse, but not with all of their relationships. The second was abuse by proxy, he was right on target.
Something about him was irritating from the moment I started listening, I can't put my finger on precisely what it was, although I did listen to both videos.
Well, he IS a self-proclaimed malignant narcissist, feeds his ego off the questions of people in relationships with narcissists, and supposedly "helps" them! Cool, ain't it?!
People that go around trying to discern my *true feelings* with their pop psychology **** me off and hopefully they *diagnose me* and move on doing both of us a big favor. lol.
I think a lot of those people have their own sets of issues and I want no part it.
There are plenty of people I love that I haven't always treated as well as I should have or vice versa....I guess we are all just abusive jerks when we should instead be in complete control of our emotions at all times. Passionless over-analyzing zombies...sounds like a real fun time.
People that go around trying to discern my *true feelings* with their pop psychology **** me off and hopefully they *diagnose me* and move on doing both of us a big favor. lol.
I think a lot of those people have their own sets of issues and I want no part it.
There are plenty of people I love that I haven't always treated as well as I should have or vice versa....I guess we are all just abusive jerks when we should instead be in complete control of our emotions at all times. Passionless over-analyzing zombies...sounds like a real fun time.
We all say so much that all of us have to go and shove it where… OK, that’s an inappropriate saying right now because I didn’t mean it as a pleasurable event!
People that go around trying to discern my *true feelings* with their pop psychology **** me off and hopefully they *diagnose me* and move on doing both of us a big favor. lol.
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NPD and the video aren't pop psychology.
If you listen to him just about everything is abusive and doesn't leave any room for normal narcissism thats part of everyone, but there are many truths there too.
If you've never been around a real NPD, you have no idea what they're capable of, had you, I don't think you would have made the above comment.
The DSM-4 says that NPD is rare i.e., < 1%. I find that to be misleading. Half of the people I've met have NPD. And, other NPD people defend and protect them, too. They know who they are and they scapegoat one person at a time, usually a minority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode
NPD and the video aren't pop psychology.
If you listen to him just about everything is abusive and doesn't leave any room for normal narcissism thats part of everyone, but there are many truths there too.
If you've never been around a real NPD, you have no idea what they're capable of, had you, I don't think you would have made the above comment.
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