times where you feel friendless

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89

Thank you everyone for your responses! I felt so much better after reading them.

I decided to call a friend of mine last night and I found out that she was going through a similar phase as well. But we both made a pact to get though these low times.

Today (rather in the wee hours of last night while on the phone w/ said friend), I decided to do something for myself that I've wanted to do for a long time (but haven't gotten the chance to do): go to Boston. Needless to say, it was fun going to a city I've dreamed about going to by myself. Took lots of pictures (which will be hopefully be developed and posted sometime this month). That for sure cheered me up....a lot! Everyone can always use a break in their routine lives, and I certainly needed that.

Now I'm curious...does anyone also feel that traveling is a good pick-me-upper (either alone or w/ others)? If traveling isn't your spirits-lifter, then what is? What really gets you going and loving life when you're feeling down and out?

I will force myself to get out of the house, and mostly that means going somewhere naturally beautiful. I am still alone, but there's something about being out in the natural world that makes me feel better. I live close enough to the ocean that it's a choice, but I also decided to start checking out the county parks where I live (moved to this area of NJ not long ago) so last week I went to a place where there are gardens and woods and a nice trail to walk along. The physical exercise itself helps, even if you are not trying to jog or hike but merely WALK, and just seeing bunnies and groundhogs and the different birds I encountered along the way made me feel better. Part of something bigger.

By the way, stressedcollegegirl, in my earlier post I mentioned that this feeling does occur all throughout life, and by coincidence, I got my AARP magazine in the mail (which is provided to all of us over 50), and lo and behold there was an article on loneliness and how it is most prevalent in the 45 - 55 age group. In a weird way, it was comforting to know I am not alone in my aloneness.

Note that being alone doesn't not necessarily mean loneliness. Sometimes solitude is welcome, especially for someone like me who tends to attract the needy and the addicted who I've purposefully had to jettison from my life.

But today will be good, because I'll get to spend a few hours with my very own "stressed college girl" before she returns to school 200 miles away!

[malamute]

Originally Posted by stressedCollegeGirl89

Hey everyone,

Was there ever a time where you just felt like you didn't have any friends?

Recently, I've just been feeling this way, where none of my friends have called me (granted that the fall semester just started about a month ago). I'm the one who ends of calling people, just wanting to have a chat. Hardly anyone calls me just to talk during the school year. I didn't really get to see my friends near home this summer, due to summer classes and my internship (I lived on the college campus). That made me a bit depressed. It just seems like they're only interested in socializing with me when I'm back at home. I'm just sick of always being the person who has to initiate both the conversation and the idea to hang out. It also doesn't help that my apartment mates are too "busy" being wrapped up in their own lives to care. I know that people are busy and have things to tend to, but it wouldn't hurt others to put in at least a little effort.

Even my mom is starting to worry. I'm not using my allowance of peak minutes nearly as much as I used to a few months back. She's pretty much the only person I call on a regular basis. This is pathetic.

I've been depressed since the beginning of the summer since I didn't really like my summer situation with the summer classes, internship, breakup w/ boyfriend, and a cousin of mine passed away. Summer just plain old sucked, period. The internship ended a few days ago, technically, and I started to feel a lot better. I want to be happy, but I feel like as soon as I start to feel somewhat happy and free, I immediately get depressed about something else that's been bothering me. I've been thinking about joining a club at school, but I just don't make friends easily.

What should I do?

If you call them and they chat with you, they're still your friends.

That's just how most relationships are - one does most of the "deciding", the others go along.

Probably if you don't call them, they don't call you and they don't call anyone, they'll just do nothing. That's why all groups of all kinds have group leaders and the rest mostly just follow along.

Just accept that you have to initiate the calls and be done with it. But also try to find new friends - no matter what kind of place, if you look around there are plenty of loners - and plenty of lonely people. They're lonely because they don't do any initiating, but they'll respond if you initiate.