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Men and women need their alone time. That's normal. There is nothing wrong with masturbation. It's a very healthy part of a relationship and a marriage. Only insecure couples and people who are out of touch with their own sexuality would be threatened by their spouse masturbating by themselves. I think there is nothing more sexy than thinking about a woman pleasuring herself. I wish my wife more open, honest, and in touch with that side of her sexuality. Heck it seems like the OPer can't even use the term "masturbation" without feeling uncomfortable about it. Men and women masturbate for different reasons and it can have nothing to do with lack of a satisfying sex life.
I'm sure this happens a lot. How could it not ?
Men are mostly hard wired to go every night. Lets face it, we are always in the mood
But really Women are not built that way, so somethings got to give right ?
I know its embarrassing and no guy in there right mind would want to get caught with his pants down. But really is it that big a deal ?
For example
Lets say I had amazing sex with my partner one morning. During the performance she was wearing that black lingerie piece I always liked
Now all day I'm at work Hot and Bothered because I just can't get that image of her in that piece out of my head. So I finally get home and my partner has gone to her mothers. So I know she will more likely than not probably have a fight with mom so I know I have really No chance of getting sex tonight. So I'm still Hot and bothered, can't concentrate and I have still have got to finish these work reports. What the Hell, rub one out right. So I'm in the shower and low and behold my partner comes backs early, walks in and catches me in the act
So Girls is this really so bad ??? O.K I guess most husbands don't always fantasize about their wifes...but I think you get my drift. Should we really make a big deal out of it ?
If we are both home (or scheduled to be home) and the other is in the mood and needs some satisfaction, then our unspoken rule is that the other gets first option to participate. If the other person is away on business, pretty simple choice and our belief is that it is normal and healthy. (This understanding came about after he took care of himself one afternoon when I had a migraine. I took some imitrix, migraine was gone, I was suddenly in the mood and . . . he was rather embarassed to not be able to perform - he thought I was down for the count for the day with the migraine.
If we were both home and the other was elsewhere in the house and one of us was taking care of himself without first asking . . . well, I would be royally ticked off (basically because "one go" pretty much does him in for the day LOL.)
You know what I find funny. Most men would say its normal and natural for a guy to look at porn. They don't understand why it upsets women. The OP is now saying that he would feel insecure if his wife pleased herself. Newsflash....that's how most women feel when their husband looks at porn.
Why the double standard?
Are the women on here that don't like when their man pleases himself also against their man looking at other naked women on the internet? Or do they find one action ok and not the other?
Had an interesting discussion with the wife about this tonight. Our views on this greatly differ.
How would you feel if your significant other "helped themselves" or "Took care of themselves" (if you know what I mean)? The wife says its normal and that she would not be upset or worried about it. Me, I would immediately think that I am doing something wrong or not right in the love making arena if this happened. I would be upping the weight and reps on my squat workouts, eating more broccoli and doing whatever it takes to better perform to please my s.o. as I would take it that I am not doing my job adequately.
One of her friends (who is SMOKING HOT and super sweet by the way) says that her husband cheated on her because he was tired of having to "help himself". Now they are getting divorced.
Masturbation is normal and perfectly fine. I've walked in on my man several times when he was rubbing one out, and it doesn't bother me in the least. I ask him if he wants a hand with it, and if he says yes, I jump on in. If he says not, I say "have fun, hot stuff" and I close the door and leave him to himself.
Sometimes a guy just needs to have a quick one. Heck, sometimes a girl just needs a quick one too. If their sex life is normal and active otherwise (which mine and my man's is...we have sex 4-5 times per week), then there's nothing wrong with an extra orgasm here or there without actually having sex with your partner.
If it's replacing sex with your partner, then you should probably have a talk with him or her and find out why. Otherwise, it's been medically proven than having an orgasm every day, whether or not your male or female, has a positive effect on your heart health, and other health factors.
So boys and girls, rub one out every day (or have your partner help you rub one out), and have that one drink of alcohol every day. It's GOOD for you!
I don't care if he does it. It is preferable to him bugging me for sex when I don't want to be bothered.
Ha. I guess I should have worded my question and title of this thread differently.
I was telling the wife that her friend SHOULD feel bad because SHE did not meet her duties as a wife to her husband. He ended up cheating on her because she was never there for him sexually when he needed her. He said he got tired of always having to pleasure himself, so eventually, he found another woman/women to do it for him and now he's gone and left his wife.
Dont get me wrong, I dont mind if my wife does it, I actually think its cool, but its when she does it when I am available is where I would have a problem with it.
Just like SookieStackhouse above saying she would rather her husband take care of himself instead of "bothering" her for sex, this is where the wife's friend failed in her responsibility and ended up losing her husband.
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LOL.)
