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Eh....men never have a problem with their marriage until the sex part isn't working. Then suddenly THAT'S the problem. More than likely there was all kinds of stuff going on between them for years that wasn't getting addressed...now the wife is just not feeling it anymore...and the guy finally figures it out! But not really, he thinks it is still all abut the sex.
When the sex part isn't working, it's pretty much a guarantee there are problems in the rest of the relationship. But don't you know that women are supposed to still want a man's hands all over them and let a man inside their bodies even though they are unhappy with the man's behavior, attitude (including one of entitlement), or treatment of them? Maybe you missed the memo.
I love how it's "women have low libido/lose libido." No one ever says "men's libido is/stays too high."
It never occurs to people that men are supposed to slow down as they age and that taking Viagra to combat the natural decrease in sex drive and ability is unnatural. Yeah, go forth and multiply with those low-quality swimmies!
I guess you could look at it as a matter of age.
I had always seen it as a matter of Post-wedding, say 3 or 4 years after the wedding is when the drive has stopped completely. In our case, when we were about 28 years old.
Especially for women, sex starts up here (points to brain). Low libido is only one piece of the puzzle; that alone isn't enough to keep a person from wanting to meet their partner's needs.
It is not just females who can lose their drive. Males can do it too.
In counseling I know females whose husbands have lost al interest. A girl I dated in high school re-connected with me [30 years later] come to find out her husband lost all interest.
I had always seen it as a matter of Post-wedding, say 3 or 4 years after the wedding is when the drive has stopped completely. In our case, when we were about 28 years old.
Barring a medical reason, the problem is/was your relationship. I don't know your story, but I do know this: Way too many people expect good sex to just happen in a LTR/marriage. It doesn't work that way. If there is inertia or boredom, it's on both partners to work together, openly and honestly, toward revving things up. That's where love comes in. A well-matched pair "gets" one another, and they are able to overcome any initial reservations or embarrassment over discussing the issue because they trust that barring something truly sick and illegal, they will still love, accept, cherish, and respect one another in their explorations.
In other words, if someone wants to try something a little different or unusual, there is enough love and comfort there to be able to say, "hey, how does the idea of this sound to you?" and know that even if the other might not be into it, the other will not be all "OMG, that is so DISGUSTING, you're such a gross PIG, I'm surprised at you!" It's a gimme that any rejection would be delivered kindly and gently, like, "Hmmm, not really into that, but how about THIS instead?" Love doesn't judge or condemn just for having different tastes.
I had always seen it as a matter of Post-wedding, say 3 or 4 years after the wedding is when the drive has stopped completely. In our case, when we were about 28 years old.
I never understood that. It does seem that post marriage is when the sex drive just completely stops, or decreases significantly.
Is it simply due to being complacent? Settling into a routine that's become redundant?
I never understood that. It does seem that post marriage is when the sex drive just completely stops, or decreases significantly.
Is it simply due to being complacent? Settling into a routine that's become redundant?
The only marriage anyone can ever speak for is their own, so not sure where you get the "seem" stuff. Guys complaining down at the bar doesn't count. If they had great marriages they wouldn't be down at the bar, never mind complaining.
Most people do not marry into a sexless marriage.... It evolves over time
Which is one of the problems with getting married in the first place. Once you are locked in, it is very hard to get out of an unsatisfactory situation when things go south in the sex dept.
It must suck big time to be locked in with someone who doesn't desire you sexually.
Which has no bearing on sexual compatibility later in life.
Idk if someone early doesn't like sex what makes you think they will like it later on in the future?
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